*Get a copy of the book on Amazon here*
If you have seen the old infomercials Robert Kiyosaki has made about retiring and making millions of dollars, you get the gist of this book. It is a three hundred and thirty five page ad for all of his other products under his Rich Dad moniker. Most frustrating is Kiyosaki's complete lack of skills as a writer. He freely admits he is not a great writer, and proceeds to prove it. He repeats himself constantly throughout the book, and writes pages of dialogue scenes he swears are from memory, but play like the worst staged scenes in an aforementioned infomercial.
Kiyosaki manipulates the reader with his constant berating. If you are doubtful of his methods, or if you question whether you can go running out and buying real estate with no money down, then that is your problem. You are wrong, and he is right. I was consistently made to feel stupid as I read this thing, and that was confirmed by the authors' smug attitude toward people who actually must work for a living.
Kiyosaki doesn't get specific about how to retire young and rich. He dances around the subject, throwing out little helpful hints here and there, but never gets down to the brass tacks when it comes to sitting down and doing it. Recommending I go to seminars and hire a bookkeeper are lovely ideas but then what? If anyone is retiring young and rich, it is the people behind this book length ad for other get-rich-quick products. If anything, reading this will inspire you to go it on your own, and ignore the advice of "experts" like this. Don't waste your money, or self-esteem, and avoid "Rich Dad's Retire Young, Retire Rich."
Friday, January 31, 2025
Book Review: "Hollywood Babylon II" by Kenneth Anger
*Get the book on Amazon here*
These days, the Golden Age of Cinema (the 1930's-1950's) seems pretty tame. Everyday people humiliate themselves on reality television just to achieve fleeting recognition. The names disappear into our attention-deficient collective and we latch on to the next Contender or Idol or Masked Whatever or the sad woman Who Wants To Marry My Dad. Thank goodness for Kenneth Anger. While the internet allows us to replay celebrity "news" ad nauseam, we must rely on faded memories and rumors when it comes to those icons we normally see in black-and-white on basic cable television. Then came "Hollywood Babylon."
As a child, Anger appeared in the 1935 film "A Midsummer Night's Dream," and grew up in Tinseltown, eventually becoming know for his avant-garde film work like "Scorpio Rising." He was privy to many a juicy story, and dragged many a skeleton out of the closet in the book. Every film fan knows a big hit deserves a sequel, and in 1984, a tinted photo of a fat Liz Taylor beckons us into the world of "Hollywood Babylon II". Here, while Anger defends that he in fact does like movies, we are again privy to over three hundred pages of often hilarious gossip, which I easily went through in one sitting.
It does help to have some knowledge of classic Hollywood. I have seen actor Paul Kelly in many a picture, and had no idea he once served time for manslaughter. The name Pantages is synonymous with grand movie palaces, but I never knew Joseph Kennedy once framed Alexander Pantages on assault charges. Was gay George Cukor really fired from "Gone With the Wind" so Clark Gable could get manly man director Victor Fleming to do the job right and turn this chick flick into an action-studded romance? Or did Cukor have some knowledge that a younger Gable would submit to some same sex situations in order to further his career?
While most of the dirt flung is serious (the Black Dahlia murder complete with explicit crime scene photos, a whole section on who committed suicide and how), Anger rises above it all with morbidly colorful writing. On choreographer/director/drunk vehicular manslaughter criminal Busby Berkeley: "He made surrealistic, voyeuristic, erotic musical dream fantasies which made eyes pop and pr!cks stand up around the world." On the two women who betrayed character actor Lionel Atwill's confidence and blabbed about his infamous house orgies:"...two Judases in skirts did their best to drag their host by the short hairs all the way up the hill to Golgotha." When speaking of James Dean, Anger asks: "And yet, today, if Richard Gere, or Matt Dillon- or any of the other members of the boring regiment of James Dean clonettes spewed out by Francis Ford Coppola in 'The Outsiders'- were to suffer Dean's fate, would cults arise, fans commit suicide, would mash notes arrive thirty years after their demise? Doubtful." Anger shows no love for Gloria Swanson (celebrating her death in a strange half page rant), Joan Crawford (publishing nude photos from her modeling days), or the Reagans (we are all going to die in a nuclear holocaust that never came about).
Another sequel to complete a trilogy has not been forthcoming, Anger died, so we must live with this forbidden volume, readily available at some public libraries, and suffer through today's celebrity marketing: which celebrity starlet (otherwise famous for nothing) has been seen in a recently discovered (but by no means planted) sex tape or "hacked" nude photos? Color me bored, I'd rather read about the mind-blowing coupling of Tallulah Bankhead and Hattie McDaniel any old day.
These days, the Golden Age of Cinema (the 1930's-1950's) seems pretty tame. Everyday people humiliate themselves on reality television just to achieve fleeting recognition. The names disappear into our attention-deficient collective and we latch on to the next Contender or Idol or Masked Whatever or the sad woman Who Wants To Marry My Dad. Thank goodness for Kenneth Anger. While the internet allows us to replay celebrity "news" ad nauseam, we must rely on faded memories and rumors when it comes to those icons we normally see in black-and-white on basic cable television. Then came "Hollywood Babylon."
As a child, Anger appeared in the 1935 film "A Midsummer Night's Dream," and grew up in Tinseltown, eventually becoming know for his avant-garde film work like "Scorpio Rising." He was privy to many a juicy story, and dragged many a skeleton out of the closet in the book. Every film fan knows a big hit deserves a sequel, and in 1984, a tinted photo of a fat Liz Taylor beckons us into the world of "Hollywood Babylon II". Here, while Anger defends that he in fact does like movies, we are again privy to over three hundred pages of often hilarious gossip, which I easily went through in one sitting.
It does help to have some knowledge of classic Hollywood. I have seen actor Paul Kelly in many a picture, and had no idea he once served time for manslaughter. The name Pantages is synonymous with grand movie palaces, but I never knew Joseph Kennedy once framed Alexander Pantages on assault charges. Was gay George Cukor really fired from "Gone With the Wind" so Clark Gable could get manly man director Victor Fleming to do the job right and turn this chick flick into an action-studded romance? Or did Cukor have some knowledge that a younger Gable would submit to some same sex situations in order to further his career?
While most of the dirt flung is serious (the Black Dahlia murder complete with explicit crime scene photos, a whole section on who committed suicide and how), Anger rises above it all with morbidly colorful writing. On choreographer/director/drunk vehicular manslaughter criminal Busby Berkeley: "He made surrealistic, voyeuristic, erotic musical dream fantasies which made eyes pop and pr!cks stand up around the world." On the two women who betrayed character actor Lionel Atwill's confidence and blabbed about his infamous house orgies:"...two Judases in skirts did their best to drag their host by the short hairs all the way up the hill to Golgotha." When speaking of James Dean, Anger asks: "And yet, today, if Richard Gere, or Matt Dillon- or any of the other members of the boring regiment of James Dean clonettes spewed out by Francis Ford Coppola in 'The Outsiders'- were to suffer Dean's fate, would cults arise, fans commit suicide, would mash notes arrive thirty years after their demise? Doubtful." Anger shows no love for Gloria Swanson (celebrating her death in a strange half page rant), Joan Crawford (publishing nude photos from her modeling days), or the Reagans (we are all going to die in a nuclear holocaust that never came about).
Another sequel to complete a trilogy has not been forthcoming, Anger died, so we must live with this forbidden volume, readily available at some public libraries, and suffer through today's celebrity marketing: which celebrity starlet (otherwise famous for nothing) has been seen in a recently discovered (but by no means planted) sex tape or "hacked" nude photos? Color me bored, I'd rather read about the mind-blowing coupling of Tallulah Bankhead and Hattie McDaniel any old day.
Book Review: "Turn Back the Night" by Jennifer Drew
*Get the book on Amazon here*
Jennifer Drew is the pen name for a mother-daughter writing team. This is a relief, since I cannot imagine just one person could come up with a romance novel this unromantic. I got this paperback in a box of books I bought from a local recycling center. It mentioned a ghost hunter on the back, so I figured this might be a cut above some of the pulp Harlequin/Silhouette is known to publish. I was wrong.
Dawn is a Chicago resident who goes to visit her sister Laura in the boonies of rural Wisconsin. Dawn is an antiques mall manager and dealer, and her business partner's name is Jane. Laura's husband Gary is away on business in Japan, leaving Laura in a large country farmhouse on her own. All of the aforementioned facts pelt the reader in the first two pages of exposition. Also staying at the house is a psychologist, Aaron. It seems Laura heard some strange noises one night, and immediately called Aaron to investigate the paranormal phenomenon. Dawn is immediately suspicious of Aaron's motives, but attracted to Aaron. Aaron is just trying to help Laura, but is attracted to Dawn. Laura is a worrywart, and doesn't have a clue. The following one hundred pages are an absolute waste of paper. Aaron investigates, Dawn is suspicious of everything, yet the two kiss and fall in love. The grand finale is scareless and predictable.
One of the many problems is that Aaron, Dawn, and Laura are the only characters for dozens of pages, and they are not interesting enough to read about. The authors also have an irritating way of switching points of view, even on the same page, so you are reading about Dawn's sexy summer outfit, her ability to bid well at auctions, and her thick brown facial hair- before realizing Dawn is now describing Aaron. Another annoyance: one character will ask a simple question like "do you really believe in ghosts?", and by the time the characters bombard the reader with their internal thoughts, everyone's clothing is described, vocal inflections are analyzed, and the two lovers make goo-goo eyes at each other, someone answers "I can't answer that question," and you must turn back the page to remind yourself what the original query was in the first place. "Turn Back the Night" is one hundred and eighty five pages of hot air. I had a relative who used to plow through this type of novel in a couple of hours, it took me three weeks to read this.
Jennifer Drew is the pen name for a mother-daughter writing team. This is a relief, since I cannot imagine just one person could come up with a romance novel this unromantic. I got this paperback in a box of books I bought from a local recycling center. It mentioned a ghost hunter on the back, so I figured this might be a cut above some of the pulp Harlequin/Silhouette is known to publish. I was wrong.
Dawn is a Chicago resident who goes to visit her sister Laura in the boonies of rural Wisconsin. Dawn is an antiques mall manager and dealer, and her business partner's name is Jane. Laura's husband Gary is away on business in Japan, leaving Laura in a large country farmhouse on her own. All of the aforementioned facts pelt the reader in the first two pages of exposition. Also staying at the house is a psychologist, Aaron. It seems Laura heard some strange noises one night, and immediately called Aaron to investigate the paranormal phenomenon. Dawn is immediately suspicious of Aaron's motives, but attracted to Aaron. Aaron is just trying to help Laura, but is attracted to Dawn. Laura is a worrywart, and doesn't have a clue. The following one hundred pages are an absolute waste of paper. Aaron investigates, Dawn is suspicious of everything, yet the two kiss and fall in love. The grand finale is scareless and predictable.
One of the many problems is that Aaron, Dawn, and Laura are the only characters for dozens of pages, and they are not interesting enough to read about. The authors also have an irritating way of switching points of view, even on the same page, so you are reading about Dawn's sexy summer outfit, her ability to bid well at auctions, and her thick brown facial hair- before realizing Dawn is now describing Aaron. Another annoyance: one character will ask a simple question like "do you really believe in ghosts?", and by the time the characters bombard the reader with their internal thoughts, everyone's clothing is described, vocal inflections are analyzed, and the two lovers make goo-goo eyes at each other, someone answers "I can't answer that question," and you must turn back the page to remind yourself what the original query was in the first place. "Turn Back the Night" is one hundred and eighty five pages of hot air. I had a relative who used to plow through this type of novel in a couple of hours, it took me three weeks to read this.
Book Review: "English Diarists: Evelyn & Pepys" by Margaret Willy
*Get this book on Amazon here*
This slim volume, included in the "Writers and Their Work" series from the 1960's, gives a nice overview of the Seventeenth century diarists John Evelyn and Samuel Pepys, and their lives in London.
Willy writes a nice introduction about why men and women used to write diaries, especially when they were meant for no one else's eyes (Pepys wrote in shorthand and encryption that wasn't deciphered until the nineteenth century). Evelyn and Pepys knew each other, and sometimes mentioned each other in their respective diaries. Their lives are summarized after the introduction, but more attention is paid to what the men wrote about their lives, as opposed to just reciting dates and names. Pepys seems to be the most entertaining of the two, but his philandering and vanity hardly put him on a pedestal. The Great London Fire of 1666 was observed by both men, as well as the Plague, and the English Civil War. Willy is correct, Pepys' minutiae about his casual life is fascinating- trashing performances of Shakespeare's plays, and seeing the untimely deaths of relations' children. On the other hand, he attends public executions, and constantly seemed to be on the prowl, bedding many women he was not married to.
Although this was first published in 1963, there is an excellent bibliography about both men in the back of the book. Pepys wrote about the Plague almost three hundred years ago, but he could be talking about pandemics of today:
"Commenting on the callousness bred of panic, he observed 'this disease making us more cruel to one another than . . . to dogs'. After weeks at his post in a city 'distressed and forsaken', with grass growing in Whitehall and the river and quays deserted, Pepys reported it 'a delightful thing' to see London gradually repopulating as the menace abated, and shops and taverns beginning to open their doors."
This booklet, 47 pages, came in a boxed lot (the way I get most of my books), so it may be a little hard to come by today. It makes the perfect start to a new reading project I've been mulling over, and it might prompt someone out there to shut off the computer or phone, pull out a pen and paper, and start a diary of their own.
This slim volume, included in the "Writers and Their Work" series from the 1960's, gives a nice overview of the Seventeenth century diarists John Evelyn and Samuel Pepys, and their lives in London.
Willy writes a nice introduction about why men and women used to write diaries, especially when they were meant for no one else's eyes (Pepys wrote in shorthand and encryption that wasn't deciphered until the nineteenth century). Evelyn and Pepys knew each other, and sometimes mentioned each other in their respective diaries. Their lives are summarized after the introduction, but more attention is paid to what the men wrote about their lives, as opposed to just reciting dates and names. Pepys seems to be the most entertaining of the two, but his philandering and vanity hardly put him on a pedestal. The Great London Fire of 1666 was observed by both men, as well as the Plague, and the English Civil War. Willy is correct, Pepys' minutiae about his casual life is fascinating- trashing performances of Shakespeare's plays, and seeing the untimely deaths of relations' children. On the other hand, he attends public executions, and constantly seemed to be on the prowl, bedding many women he was not married to.
Although this was first published in 1963, there is an excellent bibliography about both men in the back of the book. Pepys wrote about the Plague almost three hundred years ago, but he could be talking about pandemics of today:
"Commenting on the callousness bred of panic, he observed 'this disease making us more cruel to one another than . . . to dogs'. After weeks at his post in a city 'distressed and forsaken', with grass growing in Whitehall and the river and quays deserted, Pepys reported it 'a delightful thing' to see London gradually repopulating as the menace abated, and shops and taverns beginning to open their doors."
This booklet, 47 pages, came in a boxed lot (the way I get most of my books), so it may be a little hard to come by today. It makes the perfect start to a new reading project I've been mulling over, and it might prompt someone out there to shut off the computer or phone, pull out a pen and paper, and start a diary of their own.
Book Review: "Edward Albee: A Singular Journey" by Mel Gussow
*Get the book on Amazon here*
The late Edward Albee, the author of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?," and other plays, is given a deluxe biographical treatment here from a man who has known him for almost forty years- and sometimes worships him a little too much. Albee was adopted by a wealthy, emotionless set of parents. His father, Reed, was absent, and his mother, Frankie, was cool and detached. This upbringing, where he was seen more as a possession than a family member, would, of course, affect his writings. Constantly kicked out of schools, and never graduating from college, Albee turned to writing, his first success being "Zoo Story."
"Zoo Story," a short play about a fateful meeting of two men in a park, received mixed notices from assorted playwrights and critics. Here, biographer Gussow overextends his protection of his subject too much. He dismisses the honest critiques of two playwriting giants- Thornton Wilder and William Inge, because they did not understand or like Albee's works. However, a bland positive response by Samuel Beckett is treated like a Dead Sea Scroll, to be picked apart and treasured. I have read "Zoo Story," and it is wordy and preachy. Albee's next big success was "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?," which was turned into the powerhouse film by Mike Nichols. Again, Gussow is flagrant in his criticism of someone involved with the film in order to placate Albee and Nichols. The film's screenwriter, Ernest Lehman, is harshly criticized for opening the play slightly, yet just copying Albee's words. The bio's author, and Albee, make a point of needling Lehman's screenwriting credit on the film. Mike Nichols' former partner, Elaine May, copied the French film "La Cage Aux Folles" word for word, adding what could be described as copious scenes at best, then took a big giant screenwriting credit for Nichols' "The Birdcage." Watch both of those films back to back sometime, it is eye opening.
Gussow also fumbles in his outline of Albee's life. In Albee's less successful years, he is writing weird experimental plays with subjects like a man with three arms, and one play where two of the characters are sea creatures. After mounting all of these failures, Albee is defended endlessly by Gussow, who suddenly contributes an entire chapter about Albee's alcoholism. The alcohol is both a reason his plays were not celebrated, and a defense of the brilliant man. The entire beginning of the book chronicles the complete lack of love Albee's parents had for him, yet the death of Albee's father is glossed over and barely mentioned. I had to reread the sentence a few times, since no followup is made about Albee's reaction. A whole chapter is devoted to his mother's demise, and her revenge on her own son in her will. More is written about a frustrated musician who was one of Albee's former lovers and honest critics; this "A Star is Born" redux reads nicely. Gussow does do well in describing Albee's assorted forays into theater, as playwright and director. Dirt about Donald Sutherland and Frank Langella is dished. The bio's author is honest in Albee's lacking skills as a director, coming to the theater as a playwright and not an actor.
Albee, who preferred to be called a writer who is gay, as opposed to a gay writer, also has kind words for his longtime partner of over twenty years. Albee says a gay writer writes about being gay, whether the work is good or not is moot, since the writer knows the subject and is putting in the final word. A writer who is gay is not tied down to just homosexual topics, and is free to explore society without audiences looking for gay subtexts that do not exist. "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" is a searing look at two heterosexual couples, the sexuality of the playwright is not essential in light of his characters and their actions. Gussow wisely keeps talk of Albee's lesser known plays, and the ones readers probably have not read anyway, to a minimum. Albee's triumphant comeback play, "Three Tall Women," is covered extensively. The play is about his mother, and so much more. Reading this biography will make you curious to seek out some of Albee's other plays, just to see what makes him tick. He was definitely an interesting man, and Gussow does catch that fact better than anything. I recommend this book to theater lovers, and any writer who needs a little inspiration.
The late Edward Albee, the author of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?," and other plays, is given a deluxe biographical treatment here from a man who has known him for almost forty years- and sometimes worships him a little too much. Albee was adopted by a wealthy, emotionless set of parents. His father, Reed, was absent, and his mother, Frankie, was cool and detached. This upbringing, where he was seen more as a possession than a family member, would, of course, affect his writings. Constantly kicked out of schools, and never graduating from college, Albee turned to writing, his first success being "Zoo Story."
"Zoo Story," a short play about a fateful meeting of two men in a park, received mixed notices from assorted playwrights and critics. Here, biographer Gussow overextends his protection of his subject too much. He dismisses the honest critiques of two playwriting giants- Thornton Wilder and William Inge, because they did not understand or like Albee's works. However, a bland positive response by Samuel Beckett is treated like a Dead Sea Scroll, to be picked apart and treasured. I have read "Zoo Story," and it is wordy and preachy. Albee's next big success was "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?," which was turned into the powerhouse film by Mike Nichols. Again, Gussow is flagrant in his criticism of someone involved with the film in order to placate Albee and Nichols. The film's screenwriter, Ernest Lehman, is harshly criticized for opening the play slightly, yet just copying Albee's words. The bio's author, and Albee, make a point of needling Lehman's screenwriting credit on the film. Mike Nichols' former partner, Elaine May, copied the French film "La Cage Aux Folles" word for word, adding what could be described as copious scenes at best, then took a big giant screenwriting credit for Nichols' "The Birdcage." Watch both of those films back to back sometime, it is eye opening.
Gussow also fumbles in his outline of Albee's life. In Albee's less successful years, he is writing weird experimental plays with subjects like a man with three arms, and one play where two of the characters are sea creatures. After mounting all of these failures, Albee is defended endlessly by Gussow, who suddenly contributes an entire chapter about Albee's alcoholism. The alcohol is both a reason his plays were not celebrated, and a defense of the brilliant man. The entire beginning of the book chronicles the complete lack of love Albee's parents had for him, yet the death of Albee's father is glossed over and barely mentioned. I had to reread the sentence a few times, since no followup is made about Albee's reaction. A whole chapter is devoted to his mother's demise, and her revenge on her own son in her will. More is written about a frustrated musician who was one of Albee's former lovers and honest critics; this "A Star is Born" redux reads nicely. Gussow does do well in describing Albee's assorted forays into theater, as playwright and director. Dirt about Donald Sutherland and Frank Langella is dished. The bio's author is honest in Albee's lacking skills as a director, coming to the theater as a playwright and not an actor.
Albee, who preferred to be called a writer who is gay, as opposed to a gay writer, also has kind words for his longtime partner of over twenty years. Albee says a gay writer writes about being gay, whether the work is good or not is moot, since the writer knows the subject and is putting in the final word. A writer who is gay is not tied down to just homosexual topics, and is free to explore society without audiences looking for gay subtexts that do not exist. "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" is a searing look at two heterosexual couples, the sexuality of the playwright is not essential in light of his characters and their actions. Gussow wisely keeps talk of Albee's lesser known plays, and the ones readers probably have not read anyway, to a minimum. Albee's triumphant comeback play, "Three Tall Women," is covered extensively. The play is about his mother, and so much more. Reading this biography will make you curious to seek out some of Albee's other plays, just to see what makes him tick. He was definitely an interesting man, and Gussow does catch that fact better than anything. I recommend this book to theater lovers, and any writer who needs a little inspiration.
American Ninja 2: The Confrontation (1987)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
Joe (Michael Dudikoff) and Jackson (Steve James) are assigned to an embassy detail on a tropical island where U.S. servicemen are disappearing, and they eventually discover why.
Sad sequel to the sad original has some of the worst genetically modified ninjas ever. Boring, poorly choreographed fight scenes are punctuated by one of the silliest plots ever saddled onto the franchise. Steve James seems to be the only one here having any fun- he would pass away a few years later after this film's release, much too young. I think I'm giving up on this silly series two entries in.
Stats:
(1987) 90 min. (1/2 *) out of five stars
-Directed by Sam Firstenberg
-Screenplay by Roderick Taylor and John Rogers, Story by Roderick Taylor
-Cast: Michael Dudikoff, Steve James, Larry Poindexter, Gary Conway, Jeff Celentano, Michelle Botes, Mike Stone, Len Sparrowhawk, Jonathan Pienaar, Bill Curry, Dennis Folbigge, Elmo Fillis, Ralph Draper
(R)
Joe (Michael Dudikoff) and Jackson (Steve James) are assigned to an embassy detail on a tropical island where U.S. servicemen are disappearing, and they eventually discover why.
Sad sequel to the sad original has some of the worst genetically modified ninjas ever. Boring, poorly choreographed fight scenes are punctuated by one of the silliest plots ever saddled onto the franchise. Steve James seems to be the only one here having any fun- he would pass away a few years later after this film's release, much too young. I think I'm giving up on this silly series two entries in.
Stats:
(1987) 90 min. (1/2 *) out of five stars
-Directed by Sam Firstenberg
-Screenplay by Roderick Taylor and John Rogers, Story by Roderick Taylor
-Cast: Michael Dudikoff, Steve James, Larry Poindexter, Gary Conway, Jeff Celentano, Michelle Botes, Mike Stone, Len Sparrowhawk, Jonathan Pienaar, Bill Curry, Dennis Folbigge, Elmo Fillis, Ralph Draper
(R)
Thursday, January 30, 2025
American Pop (1981)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
"American Pop" is Ralph Bakshi's best film and that's not saying much considering this man also assaulted me with "Fritz the Cat," the animated "The Lord of the Rings," "Wizards," and the really awful "Hey Good Lookin'."
The story follows four generations of a Russian immigrant family, and their cosmic involvement in their respective worlds of popular music. Jimmy is a vaudevillian who gets shot in the throat in WWI and must manage the career of his singer wife. He also gets involved with the mob thanks to prohibition. His son, Benny, is a piano genius who is killed is WWII. Benny's son is the misfit Tony, who we follow from the Beat generation to a drug induced 1970's. Tony's one night stand product, Pete, continues the drug trade, but can belt out one mean tune in the punk rock late 1970's.
Bakshi's animation consisted of tracing live action onto film as animated subjects. This makes for some really jerky scenes, although not on the headache inducing level of his earlier work. There are a few places where the work is downright interesting, like Tony's acid trip and eventual fall from a stage, and Pete's dancelike movements as he delivers his drugs to his customers. Bakshi's biggest mistake is using well known songs in the soundtrack, and attributing them to these cartoon characters. Pete writes "Night Moves." Benny comes up with "As Time Goes By" after stealing the riff from a hobo. Tony wrote "Somebody to Love." I found this angle of the film irritating. It is not like no one has ever heard of these songs, and would be fooled. It seems as if the film makers were too lazy to come up with their own material (like many "karaoke musicals," as I call them, nowadays), and the songwriters and publishing houses were too eager to sell their stuff for a quick buck. Since the entire film consists of this one family coming up with all the great songs, toss any suspense out the window as to what each generation is going to accomplish. Bakshi is also obsessed with the illegal drug culture in the final half of the film. What is this, "Panic in Needle Park"? Watching cartoon characters shooting heroin is bizarre but pointless. I ask the same question I ask of some of Bakshi's other work, specifically "Hey Good Lookin'," why did he animate this? Why didn't he shoot this with live actors? The animation, while interesting, is completely unwarranted.
In the end, "American Pop" is as homogenized and half baked as much of the music coming out today. "American Pop" has left the building, don't bring it back next year.
Stats:
(1981) 96 min. (* 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Ralph Bakshi
-Written by Ronni Kern
-Cast: Jerry Holland, Richard Moll, Rick Singer, Lisa Jane Persky, Roz Kelly, Ben Frommer, Elya Baskin, Lee Ving, Mews Small, Ron Thompson, Frank DeKova, Jeffrey Lippa, Leonard Stone, Vincent Schiavelli, Elsa Raven
(R)
"American Pop" is Ralph Bakshi's best film and that's not saying much considering this man also assaulted me with "Fritz the Cat," the animated "The Lord of the Rings," "Wizards," and the really awful "Hey Good Lookin'."
The story follows four generations of a Russian immigrant family, and their cosmic involvement in their respective worlds of popular music. Jimmy is a vaudevillian who gets shot in the throat in WWI and must manage the career of his singer wife. He also gets involved with the mob thanks to prohibition. His son, Benny, is a piano genius who is killed is WWII. Benny's son is the misfit Tony, who we follow from the Beat generation to a drug induced 1970's. Tony's one night stand product, Pete, continues the drug trade, but can belt out one mean tune in the punk rock late 1970's.
Bakshi's animation consisted of tracing live action onto film as animated subjects. This makes for some really jerky scenes, although not on the headache inducing level of his earlier work. There are a few places where the work is downright interesting, like Tony's acid trip and eventual fall from a stage, and Pete's dancelike movements as he delivers his drugs to his customers. Bakshi's biggest mistake is using well known songs in the soundtrack, and attributing them to these cartoon characters. Pete writes "Night Moves." Benny comes up with "As Time Goes By" after stealing the riff from a hobo. Tony wrote "Somebody to Love." I found this angle of the film irritating. It is not like no one has ever heard of these songs, and would be fooled. It seems as if the film makers were too lazy to come up with their own material (like many "karaoke musicals," as I call them, nowadays), and the songwriters and publishing houses were too eager to sell their stuff for a quick buck. Since the entire film consists of this one family coming up with all the great songs, toss any suspense out the window as to what each generation is going to accomplish. Bakshi is also obsessed with the illegal drug culture in the final half of the film. What is this, "Panic in Needle Park"? Watching cartoon characters shooting heroin is bizarre but pointless. I ask the same question I ask of some of Bakshi's other work, specifically "Hey Good Lookin'," why did he animate this? Why didn't he shoot this with live actors? The animation, while interesting, is completely unwarranted.
In the end, "American Pop" is as homogenized and half baked as much of the music coming out today. "American Pop" has left the building, don't bring it back next year.
Stats:
(1981) 96 min. (* 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Ralph Bakshi
-Written by Ronni Kern
-Cast: Jerry Holland, Richard Moll, Rick Singer, Lisa Jane Persky, Roz Kelly, Ben Frommer, Elya Baskin, Lee Ving, Mews Small, Ron Thompson, Frank DeKova, Jeffrey Lippa, Leonard Stone, Vincent Schiavelli, Elsa Raven
(R)
American Son (2008)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
One can naturally assume that Neil Abramson's "American Son" is going to be yet another in a long line of Hollywood anti-military films. Thanks to a sensitive screenplay and excellent performances, that assumption is soon forgotten.
Mike (Nick Cannon) is home in Bakersfield, California from basic training in the Marine Corps. He has four days of leave before being shipped off to Iraq, an assignment he keeps from his friends and family. As luck would have it, he meets Cristina (Melonie Diaz) on the bus home, and the two begin a quick and tentative relationship. At home, Mike's life is about the same. He still doesn't get along with his stepfather Dale (Tom Sizemore), but loves his mother (April Grace) and half-sister (Arika Gluck). Mike's older brother is lost to drugs and crime, and his father Eddie (Chi McBride) still seems to smart from his divorce from Mike's mother as well as his fatherly failings. Mike's best friend Jake (Matt O'Leary) is both using and dealing drugs, and is still angry with Mike over his absence. Mike treads carefully around Cristina's cautious family, wanting to tell her about where he is being stationed, and doing things like meeting Junior (Jay Hernandez), an injured former soldier, weighs on him.
The screenplay, written by Eric Schmid, from a story by Schmid and director Abramson, is a series of often disjointed scenes taking place during the ninety-six hours Mike is home- the occasional onscreen countdown is both sad and necessary. Mike does try to cut loose, but he still wants to get as close to Cristina as possible, while dealing with the drama of the friends and family he left behind. While the screenplay is nicely paced, I have seen a lot of these characters before in other films. A boring four days' leave would have made for a boring film, but Schmid sometimes over-plots the story. Mike's reasoning for not telling anyone about Iraq is also never satisfyingly explained. Much to his credit, Schmid doesn't drag out the soapbox to deliver any speeches about the errors of war. Schmid doesn't get preachy, letting his characters' reactions and worries come through all the better. Abramson's direction is fantastic. His use of actual locations works, and the working class is rarely presented so realistically. I'll state right away that this is Nick Cannon's best performance. I only know him from television work, but his acting is effortless and sympathetic. The entire cast is perfect. O'Leary is sad and scary as Jake, Sizemore is understated as Dale, and Grace is stoic as Donna, Mike's mother. In smaller roles, both McBride and Hernandez shine. Diaz' Cristina is beautiful and intelligent, and her relationship with Mike is believable. "American Son" is a small film that doesn't come from either the left or the right. It is like a snapshot of four days that thousands of young men and women replay across the country for decades. The title couldn't be more appropriate. (* * * *) out of five stars.
Stats:
(2008) 90 min. (* * * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Neil Abramson
-Screenplay by Neil Abramson, Story by Neil Abramson and Eric Schmid
-Cast: Nick Cannon, Melonie Diaz, Tom Sizemore, April Grace, Arika Cluck, Chi McBride, Matt O'Leary, Jay Hernandez, Danielle Barbosa, Sal Lopez, Michael Welch, Percy Daggs III, Ray Santiago
(R)
One can naturally assume that Neil Abramson's "American Son" is going to be yet another in a long line of Hollywood anti-military films. Thanks to a sensitive screenplay and excellent performances, that assumption is soon forgotten.
Mike (Nick Cannon) is home in Bakersfield, California from basic training in the Marine Corps. He has four days of leave before being shipped off to Iraq, an assignment he keeps from his friends and family. As luck would have it, he meets Cristina (Melonie Diaz) on the bus home, and the two begin a quick and tentative relationship. At home, Mike's life is about the same. He still doesn't get along with his stepfather Dale (Tom Sizemore), but loves his mother (April Grace) and half-sister (Arika Gluck). Mike's older brother is lost to drugs and crime, and his father Eddie (Chi McBride) still seems to smart from his divorce from Mike's mother as well as his fatherly failings. Mike's best friend Jake (Matt O'Leary) is both using and dealing drugs, and is still angry with Mike over his absence. Mike treads carefully around Cristina's cautious family, wanting to tell her about where he is being stationed, and doing things like meeting Junior (Jay Hernandez), an injured former soldier, weighs on him.
The screenplay, written by Eric Schmid, from a story by Schmid and director Abramson, is a series of often disjointed scenes taking place during the ninety-six hours Mike is home- the occasional onscreen countdown is both sad and necessary. Mike does try to cut loose, but he still wants to get as close to Cristina as possible, while dealing with the drama of the friends and family he left behind. While the screenplay is nicely paced, I have seen a lot of these characters before in other films. A boring four days' leave would have made for a boring film, but Schmid sometimes over-plots the story. Mike's reasoning for not telling anyone about Iraq is also never satisfyingly explained. Much to his credit, Schmid doesn't drag out the soapbox to deliver any speeches about the errors of war. Schmid doesn't get preachy, letting his characters' reactions and worries come through all the better. Abramson's direction is fantastic. His use of actual locations works, and the working class is rarely presented so realistically. I'll state right away that this is Nick Cannon's best performance. I only know him from television work, but his acting is effortless and sympathetic. The entire cast is perfect. O'Leary is sad and scary as Jake, Sizemore is understated as Dale, and Grace is stoic as Donna, Mike's mother. In smaller roles, both McBride and Hernandez shine. Diaz' Cristina is beautiful and intelligent, and her relationship with Mike is believable. "American Son" is a small film that doesn't come from either the left or the right. It is like a snapshot of four days that thousands of young men and women replay across the country for decades. The title couldn't be more appropriate. (* * * *) out of five stars.
Stats:
(2008) 90 min. (* * * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Neil Abramson
-Screenplay by Neil Abramson, Story by Neil Abramson and Eric Schmid
-Cast: Nick Cannon, Melonie Diaz, Tom Sizemore, April Grace, Arika Cluck, Chi McBride, Matt O'Leary, Jay Hernandez, Danielle Barbosa, Sal Lopez, Michael Welch, Percy Daggs III, Ray Santiago
(R)
Wednesday, January 29, 2025
American Virgin (1999)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
In order to cash in on the overnight success of actress Mena Suvari, the producers behind this awful film changed the name from "Live Virgin" to "American Virgin," perhaps hoping some poor schmuck out there would mistake this for the Oscar winner or the stupid but financially successful teen sex comedy. They should be ashamed of themselves for filming and releasing this at all. This celluloid nightmare contains a few Oscar alumni who should have known better. Joey (Bob Hoskins) and Ronny (Robert Loggia) are rival middle-aged porn producers. Ronny stole Joey's wife Mitzi (Alexandra Wentworth), so Joey steals Ronny's daughter Katrina (Mena Suvari), so to speak. In order to get back at Daddy, Katrina decides to lose her virginity online courtesy of Joey's money, and a dopey cyber suit that will let subscribers physically feel what Katrina's lover will feel. So far, so bad. I used to rebel by missing curfews, but this is just plain ridiculous.
Not since "Star Wars" has a film careened toward such a breathtaking conclusion, full of hope for the future and love for our fellow man- I'll stop. Esai Morales has a pointless scene as a gay film director who idolizes Ronny. Esai should have stuck around to screen this film, since they spell his first name "Essai" in the opening credits. Loggia and Hoskins spend the entire film yelling the F word at each other. Neither is likable. Director Marois could not frame a decent shot to save his life. I have seen better production values from the local university's broadcasting department's news show on public access. Watch for a scene where Mann gets out of a taxi, and a boom microphone's reflection is clearly visible in the cab's roof. Marois also cowrote the screenplay, perhaps trying to put a satirical screwball spin on the porn world. Too bad no one takes the porn world seriously enough to want to see it skewered by some second rate film maker who hasn't an original thought to put on the screen. Look for porn star Ron Jeremy as a cop, proving once again that all his talent was contained below his waist. "American Virgin" is loud, dumb, and unfunny. Suvari was one of the best things about "American Pie," but here she looks embarrassed. She should be.
Stats:
(1999) 88 min. (1/2 *) out of five stars
-Directed by Jean-Pierre Marois
-Written by Jean-Pierre Marois & Ira Israel
-Cast: Bob Hoskins, Robert Loggia, Mena Suvari, Alexandra Wentworth, Brian Bloom, Ron Jeremy, Esai Morales, Octavia Spencer, O-Lan Jones, Sally Kellerman, Vincent Schiavelli, Bobbie Phillips, Gabriel Mann
(R)
In order to cash in on the overnight success of actress Mena Suvari, the producers behind this awful film changed the name from "Live Virgin" to "American Virgin," perhaps hoping some poor schmuck out there would mistake this for the Oscar winner or the stupid but financially successful teen sex comedy. They should be ashamed of themselves for filming and releasing this at all. This celluloid nightmare contains a few Oscar alumni who should have known better. Joey (Bob Hoskins) and Ronny (Robert Loggia) are rival middle-aged porn producers. Ronny stole Joey's wife Mitzi (Alexandra Wentworth), so Joey steals Ronny's daughter Katrina (Mena Suvari), so to speak. In order to get back at Daddy, Katrina decides to lose her virginity online courtesy of Joey's money, and a dopey cyber suit that will let subscribers physically feel what Katrina's lover will feel. So far, so bad. I used to rebel by missing curfews, but this is just plain ridiculous.
Not since "Star Wars" has a film careened toward such a breathtaking conclusion, full of hope for the future and love for our fellow man- I'll stop. Esai Morales has a pointless scene as a gay film director who idolizes Ronny. Esai should have stuck around to screen this film, since they spell his first name "Essai" in the opening credits. Loggia and Hoskins spend the entire film yelling the F word at each other. Neither is likable. Director Marois could not frame a decent shot to save his life. I have seen better production values from the local university's broadcasting department's news show on public access. Watch for a scene where Mann gets out of a taxi, and a boom microphone's reflection is clearly visible in the cab's roof. Marois also cowrote the screenplay, perhaps trying to put a satirical screwball spin on the porn world. Too bad no one takes the porn world seriously enough to want to see it skewered by some second rate film maker who hasn't an original thought to put on the screen. Look for porn star Ron Jeremy as a cop, proving once again that all his talent was contained below his waist. "American Virgin" is loud, dumb, and unfunny. Suvari was one of the best things about "American Pie," but here she looks embarrassed. She should be.
Stats:
(1999) 88 min. (1/2 *) out of five stars
-Directed by Jean-Pierre Marois
-Written by Jean-Pierre Marois & Ira Israel
-Cast: Bob Hoskins, Robert Loggia, Mena Suvari, Alexandra Wentworth, Brian Bloom, Ron Jeremy, Esai Morales, Octavia Spencer, O-Lan Jones, Sally Kellerman, Vincent Schiavelli, Bobbie Phillips, Gabriel Mann
(R)
An American Vampire Story (1997)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
A disclaimer: the following plot summary is completely accurate and not enhanced on my part- the film is really this bad. Frankie's (Trevor Lissauer) parents leave for Europe for the summer, and he gets the run of their giant L.A. home. His friend, the nerdy Bogie (Danny Hitt), sees this as the perfect opportunity to "party hardy," a term I have not heard used since 1984, and Frankie wants to get closer to his girlfriend Dee Dee (Daisy Torme). One night, Frankie and Bogie meet Moondoggie (Johnny Venokur). Remember, I am not making this up. Moondoggie invites himself to Frankie's house, dropping in with Bruno (Sydney Lassick), Sulka (Carmen Electra), and Katrina (Debra K. Beatty). Bruno begins kidnapping local pets and frying them up for breakfast. Sulka and Katrina keep trying to suck Frankie dry, bloodwise. Hey, these houseguests are vampires! Like a bad episode of "Step by Step" or "Family Matters," Frankie cannot get the vampires out of his house, and his girlfriend eventually leaves him for Moondoggie. Enter the reliably awful Adam West (before "Family Guy" saved his reputation) as The Big Kahuna Van Helsingmeister, vampire killer. You can guess the rest.
The film is awful. The special effects mostly consist of cheap computer animation. The actors are terrible, taking what was once a horror comedy very seriously. Nothing worse than a horror comedy that provides no laughs in addition to its lack of scares. Carmen Electra is in a purely supporting role here as Sulka, despite her prominence on the video box wearing makeup and sporting fangs that are not featured in this film. Asking yourself stupid questions like why Frankie lets the vampires stay, or why doesn't he just kill them, is futile because the writer and director set out to make a mindless film and succeeded. Do not be fooled by the "unrated" version of this, its gore and sex never rise above (PG-13) level. Also known as "American Vampire," this is not just bad, it is painfully bad, and does indeed suck.
Stats:
(1997) 99 min. (1/2 *) out of five stars
-Directed by Luis Esteban
-Written by Rollin Jarrett
-Cast: Trevor Lissauer, Johnny Venokur, Adam West, Danny Hitt, Daisy Torme, Carmen Electra, Sydney Lassick, Debra K. Beatty, Don Robb, Billy 'Sly' Williams, Kim Meredith, Brent Jasmer, Nicole Gian
(PG-13)
A disclaimer: the following plot summary is completely accurate and not enhanced on my part- the film is really this bad. Frankie's (Trevor Lissauer) parents leave for Europe for the summer, and he gets the run of their giant L.A. home. His friend, the nerdy Bogie (Danny Hitt), sees this as the perfect opportunity to "party hardy," a term I have not heard used since 1984, and Frankie wants to get closer to his girlfriend Dee Dee (Daisy Torme). One night, Frankie and Bogie meet Moondoggie (Johnny Venokur). Remember, I am not making this up. Moondoggie invites himself to Frankie's house, dropping in with Bruno (Sydney Lassick), Sulka (Carmen Electra), and Katrina (Debra K. Beatty). Bruno begins kidnapping local pets and frying them up for breakfast. Sulka and Katrina keep trying to suck Frankie dry, bloodwise. Hey, these houseguests are vampires! Like a bad episode of "Step by Step" or "Family Matters," Frankie cannot get the vampires out of his house, and his girlfriend eventually leaves him for Moondoggie. Enter the reliably awful Adam West (before "Family Guy" saved his reputation) as The Big Kahuna Van Helsingmeister, vampire killer. You can guess the rest.
The film is awful. The special effects mostly consist of cheap computer animation. The actors are terrible, taking what was once a horror comedy very seriously. Nothing worse than a horror comedy that provides no laughs in addition to its lack of scares. Carmen Electra is in a purely supporting role here as Sulka, despite her prominence on the video box wearing makeup and sporting fangs that are not featured in this film. Asking yourself stupid questions like why Frankie lets the vampires stay, or why doesn't he just kill them, is futile because the writer and director set out to make a mindless film and succeeded. Do not be fooled by the "unrated" version of this, its gore and sex never rise above (PG-13) level. Also known as "American Vampire," this is not just bad, it is painfully bad, and does indeed suck.
Stats:
(1997) 99 min. (1/2 *) out of five stars
-Directed by Luis Esteban
-Written by Rollin Jarrett
-Cast: Trevor Lissauer, Johnny Venokur, Adam West, Danny Hitt, Daisy Torme, Carmen Electra, Sydney Lassick, Debra K. Beatty, Don Robb, Billy 'Sly' Williams, Kim Meredith, Brent Jasmer, Nicole Gian
(PG-13)
Amnesia (1997)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
This strange combination of "Misery" and "Memento" tries to be a nutty dark comedy, but without the nuttiness or comedy.
Paul (Nicholas Walker) is a small town pastor caught in a loveless marriage with mousy Martha (Ally Sheedy), and some naughtiness with his stepson's teacher Veronica (Dara Tomanovich). Paul and Veronica meet at an out of the way motel run by the slightly unbalanced Charlene (Sally Kirkland). Charlene is in love with Paul, listening in on Paul and Veronica's illicit affair. Paul has been registering at the motel under a fake name- the same name as a young boy who drowned in the local lake years before. The boy was a playmate of Paul's, who saw the accident, and the body was never found. Paul hits on a plan. He will stage his own death at the lake, his body won't be found, and he will run off with Veronica. Paul goes "fishing," has a flashback to his childhood friend's death and falls, injuring himself for real. Paul ends up back at Charlene's, with no clue as to who he is, and Charlene is more than happy to bed him with untrue stories about his identity. Slobby insurance investigator Tim (John Savage) arrives to investigate Paul's death.
It is bizarre to see talents like Sheedy, Kirkland, and Savage is such a seedy direct-to-video effort. The script should have been smarter and funnier than it is. The goofy mouth harp and strings musical score tells you the film is tongue-in-cheek, however, there is no character for the viewer to get behind. Unlike "Misery," you have no sympathy for Paul as a captive. Charlene's crazy, Tim's a pig, Veronica's loose, and Martha is almost likable before turning against character and becomes a femme fatale. That leaves Martha's kid- too bad he got stuck in this. Too many plot points are left unexplored. Was Paul responsible for his playmate's death? What happened to Martha's first husband? How many people live in this "small" town- eleven? In the end, you won't need amnesia to finish "Amnesia." It's instantly forgettable.
Stats:
(1997) 88 min. (* 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Kurt Voss
-Screenplay by David Henry & Christopher Belden and Kurt Voss, Story by David Henry & Christopher Belden
-Cast: Nicholas Walker, Ally Sheedy, Dara Tomanovich, Sally Kirkland, John Savage, Vincent Berry, Robin Klein, Jack Wallace, Chris Shearer, Richard Fleming
(R)
This strange combination of "Misery" and "Memento" tries to be a nutty dark comedy, but without the nuttiness or comedy.
Paul (Nicholas Walker) is a small town pastor caught in a loveless marriage with mousy Martha (Ally Sheedy), and some naughtiness with his stepson's teacher Veronica (Dara Tomanovich). Paul and Veronica meet at an out of the way motel run by the slightly unbalanced Charlene (Sally Kirkland). Charlene is in love with Paul, listening in on Paul and Veronica's illicit affair. Paul has been registering at the motel under a fake name- the same name as a young boy who drowned in the local lake years before. The boy was a playmate of Paul's, who saw the accident, and the body was never found. Paul hits on a plan. He will stage his own death at the lake, his body won't be found, and he will run off with Veronica. Paul goes "fishing," has a flashback to his childhood friend's death and falls, injuring himself for real. Paul ends up back at Charlene's, with no clue as to who he is, and Charlene is more than happy to bed him with untrue stories about his identity. Slobby insurance investigator Tim (John Savage) arrives to investigate Paul's death.
It is bizarre to see talents like Sheedy, Kirkland, and Savage is such a seedy direct-to-video effort. The script should have been smarter and funnier than it is. The goofy mouth harp and strings musical score tells you the film is tongue-in-cheek, however, there is no character for the viewer to get behind. Unlike "Misery," you have no sympathy for Paul as a captive. Charlene's crazy, Tim's a pig, Veronica's loose, and Martha is almost likable before turning against character and becomes a femme fatale. That leaves Martha's kid- too bad he got stuck in this. Too many plot points are left unexplored. Was Paul responsible for his playmate's death? What happened to Martha's first husband? How many people live in this "small" town- eleven? In the end, you won't need amnesia to finish "Amnesia." It's instantly forgettable.
Stats:
(1997) 88 min. (* 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Kurt Voss
-Screenplay by David Henry & Christopher Belden and Kurt Voss, Story by David Henry & Christopher Belden
-Cast: Nicholas Walker, Ally Sheedy, Dara Tomanovich, Sally Kirkland, John Savage, Vincent Berry, Robin Klein, Jack Wallace, Chris Shearer, Richard Fleming
(R)
Anaconda (1997)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
From its bizarre cast to its iffy effects, "Anaconda" has "cult film" written all over it.
A film crew run by Terri (Jennifer Lopez) and her professor boyfriend Steven (Eric Stoltz) are departing on a boat into the Amazon River Basin, trying to shoot a documentary on a lost tribe. Along for the trip is cameraman Danny (Ice Cube), sound techs Gary (Owen Wilson) and Denise (Kari Wuhrer), conceited narrator Warren (Jonathan Hyde), and shifty captain Mateo (Vincent Castellanos). Mateo seems to know Paul (Jon Voight), an unlikely Paraguayan priest/snake hunter who the film crew picks up and who knows how to find the lost tribe. Now, we already know there is one big snake shadowing the crew, and you know it's mean if it can kill Danny Trejo in the opening minutes of the film. Sure enough, the snake finds many opportunities, and meals, as it gets our heroes one by one.
"Anaconda" has enjoyed a cult following. The cast is mostly recognizable A-list now, running and screaming in a pulpy B flick. I even remember Oscar buzz around Voight, who wrestles, subdues, and chews every second of every scene that he is in. The film's reputation precedes it: Stoltz really is unconscious for half of the film, and the climax features one of the most memorable vomiting scenes in film history. While the cast is fine, the film's winking and knowing attitude gets in the way. I am not sure if the actors knew this was light stuff. Llosa's direction is great, and the river scenes are a cinematographer's dream, but only Voight seemed to be clued in to the campy possibilities of the screenplay. The animatronic effects are a hundred times better than the computer effects, a huge stumbling block, and unlike "Jaws," the screenwriters dumb down to the audience, looking for any excuse to put people in harm's way. Eventually, this turned me off.
"Anaconda" might be the best of the big snake genre considering its lousy in-name-only sequels, but the hype is more fun than the film.
Stats:
(1997) 89 min. (* * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Luis Llosa
-Written by Hans Bauer and Jim Cash & Jack Epps Jr.
-Cast: Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz, Jonathan Hyde, Owen Wilson, Kari Wuhrer, Vincent Castellanos, Danny Trejo, Frank Welker
(PG-13)
From its bizarre cast to its iffy effects, "Anaconda" has "cult film" written all over it.
A film crew run by Terri (Jennifer Lopez) and her professor boyfriend Steven (Eric Stoltz) are departing on a boat into the Amazon River Basin, trying to shoot a documentary on a lost tribe. Along for the trip is cameraman Danny (Ice Cube), sound techs Gary (Owen Wilson) and Denise (Kari Wuhrer), conceited narrator Warren (Jonathan Hyde), and shifty captain Mateo (Vincent Castellanos). Mateo seems to know Paul (Jon Voight), an unlikely Paraguayan priest/snake hunter who the film crew picks up and who knows how to find the lost tribe. Now, we already know there is one big snake shadowing the crew, and you know it's mean if it can kill Danny Trejo in the opening minutes of the film. Sure enough, the snake finds many opportunities, and meals, as it gets our heroes one by one.
"Anaconda" has enjoyed a cult following. The cast is mostly recognizable A-list now, running and screaming in a pulpy B flick. I even remember Oscar buzz around Voight, who wrestles, subdues, and chews every second of every scene that he is in. The film's reputation precedes it: Stoltz really is unconscious for half of the film, and the climax features one of the most memorable vomiting scenes in film history. While the cast is fine, the film's winking and knowing attitude gets in the way. I am not sure if the actors knew this was light stuff. Llosa's direction is great, and the river scenes are a cinematographer's dream, but only Voight seemed to be clued in to the campy possibilities of the screenplay. The animatronic effects are a hundred times better than the computer effects, a huge stumbling block, and unlike "Jaws," the screenwriters dumb down to the audience, looking for any excuse to put people in harm's way. Eventually, this turned me off.
"Anaconda" might be the best of the big snake genre considering its lousy in-name-only sequels, but the hype is more fun than the film.
Stats:
(1997) 89 min. (* * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Luis Llosa
-Written by Hans Bauer and Jim Cash & Jack Epps Jr.
-Cast: Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz, Jonathan Hyde, Owen Wilson, Kari Wuhrer, Vincent Castellanos, Danny Trejo, Frank Welker
(PG-13)
Analyze That (2002)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
**This review contains some spoilers** Robert De Niro and Billy Crystal return in a sequel that takes an unsubtle swipe at "The Sopranos," and offers little else. Paul (Robert De Niro) is in prison and Ben (Billy Crystal) has settled down into a routine life in suburbia with wife Laura (Lisa Kudrow) and his son. Someone is gunning for Paul in the big house, and Ben's father dies. Paul has a complete nervous breakdown, singing the score to "West Side Story," and he is released into Ben's care after some very funny psychoanalytic tests. Of course, Paul was faking and of course, the FBI knows, trailing the men as Paul must go out into the world and get a real job. After several employment mishaps, Paul is hired on as a consultant on the mob TV series "Little Caesar." There, he reunites with his old gang and they begin planning a huge heist. Meanwhile, Ben is still trying to grieve for the father he sometimes hated, popping pills and trying desperately to keep Paul in line.
Like its predecessor, "Analyze That" is merely okay. The focus here is definitely on De Niro, as he is featured in almost every scene. Ben takes a backseat in the film when in fact his situation dealing with his father's death (running gag: "He's grieving, it's a process") is more interesting than Paul's heist and double-crossing cronies. The film takes an almost angry look at "The Sopranos" in the form of its fictional show "Little Caesar." A fake movie about mobsters poking fun at a fake TV show about mobsters. While no laugh riot, there are some bright spots. De Niro has the funny psycho tests scenes, and Crystal is very natural while watching his life unravel. If you thought Kudrow's role in the first one was overpraised, then you will think the same here. Her lines seem hurried, like she did this over lunch hours during "Friends," and she is once again completely wasted in an underwritten role. Joe Viterelli is always good as Jelly, Paul's henchman, and Cathy Moriarty is fine as a rival crime boss. "Analyze That" is a ninety five minute sitcom, complete with end credits out takes, that has its likable characters and not much else. The initial "mobster/shrink" gimmick wore off long ago.
Stats:
(2002) 96 min. (* * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Harold Ramis
-Written by Peter Steinfeld and Harold Ramis and Peter Tolan, based on characters created by Kenneth Lonergan and Peter Tolan
-Cast: Robert De Niro, Billy Crystal, Lisa Kudrow, Cathy Moriarty, Joe Viterelli, Pat Cooper, Demetri Martin, Rebecca Schull, Tom Papa, Joyce Brothers, Anthony LaPaglia, Callie Thorne, James Biberi
(R)
**This review contains some spoilers** Robert De Niro and Billy Crystal return in a sequel that takes an unsubtle swipe at "The Sopranos," and offers little else. Paul (Robert De Niro) is in prison and Ben (Billy Crystal) has settled down into a routine life in suburbia with wife Laura (Lisa Kudrow) and his son. Someone is gunning for Paul in the big house, and Ben's father dies. Paul has a complete nervous breakdown, singing the score to "West Side Story," and he is released into Ben's care after some very funny psychoanalytic tests. Of course, Paul was faking and of course, the FBI knows, trailing the men as Paul must go out into the world and get a real job. After several employment mishaps, Paul is hired on as a consultant on the mob TV series "Little Caesar." There, he reunites with his old gang and they begin planning a huge heist. Meanwhile, Ben is still trying to grieve for the father he sometimes hated, popping pills and trying desperately to keep Paul in line.
Like its predecessor, "Analyze That" is merely okay. The focus here is definitely on De Niro, as he is featured in almost every scene. Ben takes a backseat in the film when in fact his situation dealing with his father's death (running gag: "He's grieving, it's a process") is more interesting than Paul's heist and double-crossing cronies. The film takes an almost angry look at "The Sopranos" in the form of its fictional show "Little Caesar." A fake movie about mobsters poking fun at a fake TV show about mobsters. While no laugh riot, there are some bright spots. De Niro has the funny psycho tests scenes, and Crystal is very natural while watching his life unravel. If you thought Kudrow's role in the first one was overpraised, then you will think the same here. Her lines seem hurried, like she did this over lunch hours during "Friends," and she is once again completely wasted in an underwritten role. Joe Viterelli is always good as Jelly, Paul's henchman, and Cathy Moriarty is fine as a rival crime boss. "Analyze That" is a ninety five minute sitcom, complete with end credits out takes, that has its likable characters and not much else. The initial "mobster/shrink" gimmick wore off long ago.
Stats:
(2002) 96 min. (* * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Harold Ramis
-Written by Peter Steinfeld and Harold Ramis and Peter Tolan, based on characters created by Kenneth Lonergan and Peter Tolan
-Cast: Robert De Niro, Billy Crystal, Lisa Kudrow, Cathy Moriarty, Joe Viterelli, Pat Cooper, Demetri Martin, Rebecca Schull, Tom Papa, Joyce Brothers, Anthony LaPaglia, Callie Thorne, James Biberi
(R)
Anarchy TV (1998)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
Director Blank brings Frank Zappa's children onboard in a decadent ninety minute comedy that entertains.
Channel 69 is the local public access station that plays shows like "Political Jeopardy" and "Eat Me." The shows blast the establishment, and push free speech and individualism. It is run by cute couple Jerry (Jonathan Penner) and Natalie (Jessica Hecht), hilarious paranoid Frank (Matt Winston), Katie (Moon Zappa), and Sid (Dweezil Zappa). Natalie is also a teacher, working her political agenda into subversive elementary school plays, much to the principal's (Mink Stole) chagrin. Natalie's dad is Reverend Wright (Alan Thicke), who buys the television station, disowns his daughter, and throws the group out onto the street. They try to protest their plight, but no one seems to care as no one was watching them in the first place. They hold a couple of disastrous rallies, where all their friends butt heads about their personal beliefs, are thrown in jail, and but bailed out by prostitute/fan Tiffany (Tamayo Otsuki). As the Christian station broadcasts on their station, the group hatches a new plan. They take the station by force and begin broadcasting their stuff again, much to the yawns and indifference of the viewing public. Even the police and press do not care. Frank discovers a safe in the station that holds the key to all his off-the-wall beliefs, and sets about breaking the combination. Tiffany suddenly gets a great idea, and viewers begin tuning in- nude aerobics will do that.
The film plays like a goofball version of "UHF," which I guess is a contradiction in terms. The film makers lampoon Conservatives as well as Liberals, but the final few minutes brings down all the silly fun of the film, and ends on a sour note. Moon and Dweezil Zappa are very funny in supporting roles, as is Ahmet Zappa as an abusive cop. Matt Winston is a riot as paranoid Frank, questioning everyone's motives. The sketches in the film run hot and cold, but it helps that a middle ground is found. If you are offended by a joke one minute, Blank finds something for you to laugh at the next. Actually, with free speech and personal freedom being preached, the political group who come off best in the film are the libertarians, not anarchists.
"Anarchy TV" is not great, but it has more laughs than some big screen successes, and contains off-color humor that works better than any "American Pie" film. See it, unless full frontal nudity and anti-establishment humor really bothers you.
Stats:
(1998) 87 min. (* * * 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Jonathan Blank
-Written by Jonathan Blank, Philip Craft
-Cast: Jonathan Penner, Jessica Hecht, Matt Winston, Moon Zappa, Dweezil Zappa, Ahmet Zappa, Alan Thicke, Mink Stole, Tamayo Otsuki, Apollonia Kotero, Timothy Leary, George Wendt, John Waters
(R)
Director Blank brings Frank Zappa's children onboard in a decadent ninety minute comedy that entertains.
Channel 69 is the local public access station that plays shows like "Political Jeopardy" and "Eat Me." The shows blast the establishment, and push free speech and individualism. It is run by cute couple Jerry (Jonathan Penner) and Natalie (Jessica Hecht), hilarious paranoid Frank (Matt Winston), Katie (Moon Zappa), and Sid (Dweezil Zappa). Natalie is also a teacher, working her political agenda into subversive elementary school plays, much to the principal's (Mink Stole) chagrin. Natalie's dad is Reverend Wright (Alan Thicke), who buys the television station, disowns his daughter, and throws the group out onto the street. They try to protest their plight, but no one seems to care as no one was watching them in the first place. They hold a couple of disastrous rallies, where all their friends butt heads about their personal beliefs, are thrown in jail, and but bailed out by prostitute/fan Tiffany (Tamayo Otsuki). As the Christian station broadcasts on their station, the group hatches a new plan. They take the station by force and begin broadcasting their stuff again, much to the yawns and indifference of the viewing public. Even the police and press do not care. Frank discovers a safe in the station that holds the key to all his off-the-wall beliefs, and sets about breaking the combination. Tiffany suddenly gets a great idea, and viewers begin tuning in- nude aerobics will do that.
The film plays like a goofball version of "UHF," which I guess is a contradiction in terms. The film makers lampoon Conservatives as well as Liberals, but the final few minutes brings down all the silly fun of the film, and ends on a sour note. Moon and Dweezil Zappa are very funny in supporting roles, as is Ahmet Zappa as an abusive cop. Matt Winston is a riot as paranoid Frank, questioning everyone's motives. The sketches in the film run hot and cold, but it helps that a middle ground is found. If you are offended by a joke one minute, Blank finds something for you to laugh at the next. Actually, with free speech and personal freedom being preached, the political group who come off best in the film are the libertarians, not anarchists.
"Anarchy TV" is not great, but it has more laughs than some big screen successes, and contains off-color humor that works better than any "American Pie" film. See it, unless full frontal nudity and anti-establishment humor really bothers you.
Stats:
(1998) 87 min. (* * * 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Jonathan Blank
-Written by Jonathan Blank, Philip Craft
-Cast: Jonathan Penner, Jessica Hecht, Matt Winston, Moon Zappa, Dweezil Zappa, Ahmet Zappa, Alan Thicke, Mink Stole, Tamayo Otsuki, Apollonia Kotero, Timothy Leary, George Wendt, John Waters
(R)
Tuesday, January 28, 2025
Anastasia (1997)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
Fox makes like bad Disney and slaps together a silly, treacly, boring story about the famed "missing" Russian princess.
Mean old Rasputin (voiced by Christopher Lloyd) curses the Romanov family and some convenient Communists follow suit and murder them. Young Anastasia (Kirsten Dunst) escapes with Grandma (Angela Lansbury), but the two are separated, and Anastasia loses her memory. Ten years later in St. Petersburg, Dmitri (John Cusack) and Vladimir (Kelsey Grammer) are looking for someone to portray the princess to Grandma so they can collect a reward. An amnesiac Anastasia (say that three times fast) is released from an orphanage, and meets up with the pair. The three are off to Paris, not realizing the fake Anastasia, now voiced by Meg Ryan, is the real Anastasia. Rasputin, who died in the opening scenes, is somehow resurrected with some help from his "funny" sidekick, Bartok the bat (Hank Azaria), and tries to complete his curse by killing Anastasia, first with a train wreck (like this film) then permeating her dreams and having her sleepwalk off a ship.
I hated this movie. A good musical will use its songs to propel the plot or give us some insight into the characters, here they serve as nothing more but hopeful Oscar nominations. The animated cast sings and goes through dance numbers worthy of a Broadway show, even ending the tunes with flourish as if waiting for applause. For singing film Russians that actually work, watch one of the best musicals ever- "Fiddler on the Roof." Cusack, Lloyd, and Ryan sport American accents, yet Grammer has a Russian accent. Lansbury has her semi-British accent, and no one seems to try and get the cast on one specific accent. Is this Russia or not? Cusack sounds like he forgot his anti-depressants in his other pants, delivering his lines with a solemnity not heard since Ben Kingsley typed up "Schindler's List." Meg Ryan still believes she is in a romantic comedy, saying all her lines in a clipped delivery that is completely wrong for her noble character. There are five different writers credited here, and none of them could come up with a funny joke. One liners are tossed off that even my five year old would have groaned at, and the film lurches from scene to scene without any energy or fun. Don Bluth co-directed with Gary Goldman, and all the characters look like every other character he has ever drawn. Computer animation is mixed in with the hand drawn animation, but the two never mesh together well, leading me to believe it was done to hurry the film along through production.
Throw in the cute puppy, a rotting Rasputin, the annoying Bartok, and a plot that has been copied from better films, and "Anastasia" is a disaster. (*) out of five stars.
Stats:
(1997) 94 min. (*) out of five stars
-Directed by Don Bluth, Gary Goldman
-Screenplay by Susan Gauthier & Bruce Graham and Bob Tzudiker & Noni White, Animation Adaptation by Eric Tuchman
-Cast: Meg Ryan, John Cusack, Kelsey Grammer, Christopher Lloyd, Hank Azaria, Bernadette Peters, Kirsten Dunst, Angela Lansbury, Rick Jones, Andrea Martin, Glenn Walker Harris Jr., Debra Mooney, Arthur Malet
(G)
*Academy Awards*
-Best Original Song- "Journey to the Past" (lost to "My Heart Will Go On" from "Titanic")
-Best Original Musical or Comedy Score (lost to "The Full Monty")
Fox makes like bad Disney and slaps together a silly, treacly, boring story about the famed "missing" Russian princess.
Mean old Rasputin (voiced by Christopher Lloyd) curses the Romanov family and some convenient Communists follow suit and murder them. Young Anastasia (Kirsten Dunst) escapes with Grandma (Angela Lansbury), but the two are separated, and Anastasia loses her memory. Ten years later in St. Petersburg, Dmitri (John Cusack) and Vladimir (Kelsey Grammer) are looking for someone to portray the princess to Grandma so they can collect a reward. An amnesiac Anastasia (say that three times fast) is released from an orphanage, and meets up with the pair. The three are off to Paris, not realizing the fake Anastasia, now voiced by Meg Ryan, is the real Anastasia. Rasputin, who died in the opening scenes, is somehow resurrected with some help from his "funny" sidekick, Bartok the bat (Hank Azaria), and tries to complete his curse by killing Anastasia, first with a train wreck (like this film) then permeating her dreams and having her sleepwalk off a ship.
I hated this movie. A good musical will use its songs to propel the plot or give us some insight into the characters, here they serve as nothing more but hopeful Oscar nominations. The animated cast sings and goes through dance numbers worthy of a Broadway show, even ending the tunes with flourish as if waiting for applause. For singing film Russians that actually work, watch one of the best musicals ever- "Fiddler on the Roof." Cusack, Lloyd, and Ryan sport American accents, yet Grammer has a Russian accent. Lansbury has her semi-British accent, and no one seems to try and get the cast on one specific accent. Is this Russia or not? Cusack sounds like he forgot his anti-depressants in his other pants, delivering his lines with a solemnity not heard since Ben Kingsley typed up "Schindler's List." Meg Ryan still believes she is in a romantic comedy, saying all her lines in a clipped delivery that is completely wrong for her noble character. There are five different writers credited here, and none of them could come up with a funny joke. One liners are tossed off that even my five year old would have groaned at, and the film lurches from scene to scene without any energy or fun. Don Bluth co-directed with Gary Goldman, and all the characters look like every other character he has ever drawn. Computer animation is mixed in with the hand drawn animation, but the two never mesh together well, leading me to believe it was done to hurry the film along through production.
Throw in the cute puppy, a rotting Rasputin, the annoying Bartok, and a plot that has been copied from better films, and "Anastasia" is a disaster. (*) out of five stars.
Stats:
(1997) 94 min. (*) out of five stars
-Directed by Don Bluth, Gary Goldman
-Screenplay by Susan Gauthier & Bruce Graham and Bob Tzudiker & Noni White, Animation Adaptation by Eric Tuchman
-Cast: Meg Ryan, John Cusack, Kelsey Grammer, Christopher Lloyd, Hank Azaria, Bernadette Peters, Kirsten Dunst, Angela Lansbury, Rick Jones, Andrea Martin, Glenn Walker Harris Jr., Debra Mooney, Arthur Malet
(G)
*Academy Awards*
-Best Original Song- "Journey to the Past" (lost to "My Heart Will Go On" from "Titanic")
-Best Original Musical or Comedy Score (lost to "The Full Monty")
Amos & Andrew (1993)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
E. Max Frye writes and directs a wannabe social comedy that does not score on enough levels.
Andrew Sterling (Samuel L. Jackson) is a Black celebrity who happens to move to a small Massachusetts island populated mostly by whites. He is going to his new house there ahead of his wife, and tries to settle in. Local lawyer Phil Gillman (Michael Lerner) and wife Judy (Margaret Colin) see Sterling and assume he is robbing the house, not knowing there's a new owner. The local incompetent police, headed by Chief Tolliver (Dabney Coleman) close in. Overly anxious officer Donaldson (Brad Dourif) shoots at the innocent Sterling, resulting in a standoff covered by a local freelance reporter, who interviews the Gillmans. Tolliver soon realizes his mistake, but it is too late to change things back to how they were, especially when he is running for county commissioner in the fall. Tolliver devises a convoluted plan: get petty criminal Amos (Nicolas Cage) to break into Sterling's home, take him hostage, then release him. Tolliver then promises to set Amos free. After Amos agrees and goes in, the real press arrives complete with satellite trucks and live on-location reporters and the poo really hits the fan.
There is a whoooole lotta plot for a ninety five minute film, and this is one of director/writer Frye's problems. While watching "Amos & Andrew," I was reminded of a film from the 1970's that also dealt with a large cast in a social satire. However, Robert Altman juggled his characters in "Nashville" well, allowing the story to unfold without resorting to physical antics straight out of a Jerry Lewis movie. "Amos & Andrew" feels like a "mod social satire" from the 1960's, written for the Disney company and possibly starring Dean Jones. There is no bite, and Frye cannot seem to keep steady aim on any one target. In Altman's film, the characters were flawed but interesting. Here, they are flawed and boring. The few funny scenes seem to have worked as an afterthought. Bob Balaban has too few scenes as Roy, the freelance hostage negotiator. His one sided confessional phone calls, especially to a bound and gagged Tolliver, are a scream. Also, Lerner and Colin are good as the Gillmans. Colin is also very funny in one scene where she has been blindfolded by the couple's S&M gear, and keeps asking what is going on. A fistfight between Amos and Andrew is downright embarrassing to watch. Jackson plays his most understated role here, and almost gets lost in the character shuffle. He has one good scene, talking about his dad, but Sterling's persona is so ill-defined (a writer, lecturer, playwright, Pulitzer Prize winner, on the cover of Forbes magazine...who is this guy?) that Jackson cannot seem to get a grasp on him. Cage as a petty criminal- where have we seen this before? Amos is supposed to be charming in a stupid sort of way, but Cage just phones in his performance. Coleman plays his umpteenth incarnation of "9 to 5"'s Franklin Hart, and Dourif's Donaldson is so stupid you will not believe entire plot points hinge on his idiotic behavior. Watch for completely misplayed scenes when Amos thinks the police are outside the Gillman home when in fact they are still outside the Sterling house. Even Cage cannot pull off such a lapse in character logic. By the time Sir Mix-A-Lot's horrid hip-hop diddy "Suburbian Nightmare," which recounts the entire movie you just saw from Andrew's point of view, assaults your ears over the end credits, the film is a lost cause.
"Amos & Andrew" does not live up to its potential. This should have been a wicked satire full of barbs at everyone from Jesse Jackson to Liberal racists to smalltown politics. It hits its paper target, but with an atomic bomb, instead of intelligent and thought-out shots. You can not be sure what the original intent was in the first place when all of its energy was used in trying to get a dig in on everybody.
Stats:
(1993) 96 min. (* *) out of five stars
-Written and Directed by E. Max Frye
-Cast: Nicolas Cage, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Lerner, Margaret Colin, Dabney Coleman, Brad Dourif, Bob Balaban, Chelcie Ross, I.M. Hobson, Giancarlo Esposito, Loretta Devine, Tracey Walter, Allison Mackie
(PG-13)
E. Max Frye writes and directs a wannabe social comedy that does not score on enough levels.
Andrew Sterling (Samuel L. Jackson) is a Black celebrity who happens to move to a small Massachusetts island populated mostly by whites. He is going to his new house there ahead of his wife, and tries to settle in. Local lawyer Phil Gillman (Michael Lerner) and wife Judy (Margaret Colin) see Sterling and assume he is robbing the house, not knowing there's a new owner. The local incompetent police, headed by Chief Tolliver (Dabney Coleman) close in. Overly anxious officer Donaldson (Brad Dourif) shoots at the innocent Sterling, resulting in a standoff covered by a local freelance reporter, who interviews the Gillmans. Tolliver soon realizes his mistake, but it is too late to change things back to how they were, especially when he is running for county commissioner in the fall. Tolliver devises a convoluted plan: get petty criminal Amos (Nicolas Cage) to break into Sterling's home, take him hostage, then release him. Tolliver then promises to set Amos free. After Amos agrees and goes in, the real press arrives complete with satellite trucks and live on-location reporters and the poo really hits the fan.
There is a whoooole lotta plot for a ninety five minute film, and this is one of director/writer Frye's problems. While watching "Amos & Andrew," I was reminded of a film from the 1970's that also dealt with a large cast in a social satire. However, Robert Altman juggled his characters in "Nashville" well, allowing the story to unfold without resorting to physical antics straight out of a Jerry Lewis movie. "Amos & Andrew" feels like a "mod social satire" from the 1960's, written for the Disney company and possibly starring Dean Jones. There is no bite, and Frye cannot seem to keep steady aim on any one target. In Altman's film, the characters were flawed but interesting. Here, they are flawed and boring. The few funny scenes seem to have worked as an afterthought. Bob Balaban has too few scenes as Roy, the freelance hostage negotiator. His one sided confessional phone calls, especially to a bound and gagged Tolliver, are a scream. Also, Lerner and Colin are good as the Gillmans. Colin is also very funny in one scene where she has been blindfolded by the couple's S&M gear, and keeps asking what is going on. A fistfight between Amos and Andrew is downright embarrassing to watch. Jackson plays his most understated role here, and almost gets lost in the character shuffle. He has one good scene, talking about his dad, but Sterling's persona is so ill-defined (a writer, lecturer, playwright, Pulitzer Prize winner, on the cover of Forbes magazine...who is this guy?) that Jackson cannot seem to get a grasp on him. Cage as a petty criminal- where have we seen this before? Amos is supposed to be charming in a stupid sort of way, but Cage just phones in his performance. Coleman plays his umpteenth incarnation of "9 to 5"'s Franklin Hart, and Dourif's Donaldson is so stupid you will not believe entire plot points hinge on his idiotic behavior. Watch for completely misplayed scenes when Amos thinks the police are outside the Gillman home when in fact they are still outside the Sterling house. Even Cage cannot pull off such a lapse in character logic. By the time Sir Mix-A-Lot's horrid hip-hop diddy "Suburbian Nightmare," which recounts the entire movie you just saw from Andrew's point of view, assaults your ears over the end credits, the film is a lost cause.
"Amos & Andrew" does not live up to its potential. This should have been a wicked satire full of barbs at everyone from Jesse Jackson to Liberal racists to smalltown politics. It hits its paper target, but with an atomic bomb, instead of intelligent and thought-out shots. You can not be sure what the original intent was in the first place when all of its energy was used in trying to get a dig in on everybody.
Stats:
(1993) 96 min. (* *) out of five stars
-Written and Directed by E. Max Frye
-Cast: Nicolas Cage, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Lerner, Margaret Colin, Dabney Coleman, Brad Dourif, Bob Balaban, Chelcie Ross, I.M. Hobson, Giancarlo Esposito, Loretta Devine, Tracey Walter, Allison Mackie
(PG-13)
Anatomy (2000)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
This German film puts a European twist on all those "Scream"-type horror films we had been sitting through, and succeeds. This review is full of spoilers.
Franka Potente from "Run Lola Run" and "The Bourne Identity" is Paula, a very smart medical school student who is accepted to an exclusive school in Heidelberg. She meets party girl Gretchen (Anna Loos), and the two become roommates. On the train trip there, Paula revives a young man named David (Arndt Schwering-Sohnrey), who has a heart condition. He is on his way to Heidelberg to seek treatment for his rare illness. Right away, Gretchen hooks up with studly Hein (Benno Furmann) while Paula flirts with the weird Caspar (Sebastian Blomberg). The film has already shown us that the medical school is using live subjects for its autopsies, and are putting the victims in a specimen museum when they are done.
The gore flows freely here, and there is a lot of terrific suspense. One great scene involves a character trying to get rid of a body while people try to get into a blocked morgue room. The film has a great expensive look, and the editing (by Ueli Christen) and musical score (featuring some Euro-pop songs, instrumentals by Marius Ruhland) are first rate. The sterile hospital set is cold and creepy. I could only watch the dubbed version, from German to English, but even that is awesome. Franka Potente is great, holding the film in her grasp. She is believable and watchable. Anna Loos is a riot as Gretchen, watch her scene in the restaurant as she sucks down oysters while talking medical school "shop." Benno Furmann is introduced as just a hunk, but he is able to turn the tables on the audience, giving us a character that we never suspected from his opening scenes. Of course, the rest of the world seems to have been influenced by the junk coming out of Hollywood, and this film is no different. We do have a predictable finale, and a villain who comes back to life when thought dead. Paula believes the sect is definitely killing people, but assumes a good friend- who we see murdered- really left for a long weekend when she should know better. The local police, of course, do not believe her. These are small flaws, but they detract.
"Anatomy" is gory, and the squeamish should turn to something else. This is brazenly over-the-top, but does not resort to the same smugness that permeates so many American horror films. Paula is a great heroine, not needing anyone to save her from dangerous situations. Open up this "Anatomy" and dig in. Followed by a sequel, also known as "Anatomie."
Stats:
(2000) 103 min. (* * * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Stefan Ruzowitzky
-Written by Stefan Ruzowitzky, Peter Engelmann
-Cast: Franka Potente, Anna Loos, Arndt Schwering-Sohnrey, Benno Furmann, Sebastian Blomberg, Holger Speckhahn, Traugott Buhre, Oliver Wnuk, Andreas Guenther, Antonia Cacilia Holfelder, Rudiger Vogler, Barbara M. Ahren
(R)
This German film puts a European twist on all those "Scream"-type horror films we had been sitting through, and succeeds. This review is full of spoilers.
Franka Potente from "Run Lola Run" and "The Bourne Identity" is Paula, a very smart medical school student who is accepted to an exclusive school in Heidelberg. She meets party girl Gretchen (Anna Loos), and the two become roommates. On the train trip there, Paula revives a young man named David (Arndt Schwering-Sohnrey), who has a heart condition. He is on his way to Heidelberg to seek treatment for his rare illness. Right away, Gretchen hooks up with studly Hein (Benno Furmann) while Paula flirts with the weird Caspar (Sebastian Blomberg). The film has already shown us that the medical school is using live subjects for its autopsies, and are putting the victims in a specimen museum when they are done.
The gore flows freely here, and there is a lot of terrific suspense. One great scene involves a character trying to get rid of a body while people try to get into a blocked morgue room. The film has a great expensive look, and the editing (by Ueli Christen) and musical score (featuring some Euro-pop songs, instrumentals by Marius Ruhland) are first rate. The sterile hospital set is cold and creepy. I could only watch the dubbed version, from German to English, but even that is awesome. Franka Potente is great, holding the film in her grasp. She is believable and watchable. Anna Loos is a riot as Gretchen, watch her scene in the restaurant as she sucks down oysters while talking medical school "shop." Benno Furmann is introduced as just a hunk, but he is able to turn the tables on the audience, giving us a character that we never suspected from his opening scenes. Of course, the rest of the world seems to have been influenced by the junk coming out of Hollywood, and this film is no different. We do have a predictable finale, and a villain who comes back to life when thought dead. Paula believes the sect is definitely killing people, but assumes a good friend- who we see murdered- really left for a long weekend when she should know better. The local police, of course, do not believe her. These are small flaws, but they detract.
"Anatomy" is gory, and the squeamish should turn to something else. This is brazenly over-the-top, but does not resort to the same smugness that permeates so many American horror films. Paula is a great heroine, not needing anyone to save her from dangerous situations. Open up this "Anatomy" and dig in. Followed by a sequel, also known as "Anatomie."
Stats:
(2000) 103 min. (* * * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Stefan Ruzowitzky
-Written by Stefan Ruzowitzky, Peter Engelmann
-Cast: Franka Potente, Anna Loos, Arndt Schwering-Sohnrey, Benno Furmann, Sebastian Blomberg, Holger Speckhahn, Traugott Buhre, Oliver Wnuk, Andreas Guenther, Antonia Cacilia Holfelder, Rudiger Vogler, Barbara M. Ahren
(R)
Anatomy of a Psycho (1961)
Get the film on Amazon here*
In 1959, "Anatomy of a Murder" was released. In 1960, "Psycho" hit the theaters. One year later, "Anatomy of a Psycho" debuted. The only thing this film has in common with the previously mentioned classics is that "Anatomy of a Psycho" is also a film.
Chet (Darrell Howe) is down in the dumps. His big brother Duke (William Salzwedel) is being sent to the gas chamber for a murder. Duke helped raise Chet and their sister Pat (Pamela Lincoln), and Chet still believes in Duke's innocence. Even though the family is from the wrong side of the tracks, Pat has taken up with well-to-do Mickey (Ronnie Burns, son of George Burns and Gracie Allen). As coincidence would have it, Mickey is the son of the anonymous star witness (Russ Bender) who sent Duke to death row. And what of Chet's love life? He was taking up with the questionable Sandy (Judy Howard) who, as ANOTHER coincidence would have it, is now canoodling with the son of the judge who presided over Duke's trial. In the opening minutes of the film, Chet is slashed in the face with a broken bottle, and sports a large mobile scar on his cheek, and a giant chip on his shoulder. He and his gang beat up the son of the district attorney who prosecuted Duke's case, and Chet becomes a one-man crime spree until another fight results in a stabbing and suddenly Mickey is put on trial for murder...have you got all this?
Rumor has it that Ed Wood had a hand in the screenplay, and I totally believe it. I didn't even mention peripheral characters like the tough police lieutenant who is always hanging around, or the other members of Chet's shanty-dwelling gang. It's a lot for a seventy-five minute movie. The film is cheaply made, with some scenes making me laugh out loud. The life journey of Chet's facial scar could have been a film in itself. I think Pam and Mickey are high school students even though the actors were in their mid-twenties, and one hilarious scene has Pam begging Chet to go back to school, I assume to finish up his master's degree studies? Aside from Bobbie (Frank Killmond), all of the young male cast look alike. They have nice parted black hair, swarthy looks, and I was often confused about who was who, with the exception of Chet and his magical scar. Although the plot moves at a lightning fast pace, the first few scenes take place in a matter of hours, it's strange that most of the footage bored me. The pitch of the film is doable, but the execution (sorry, unintentional pun) is a disaster. The climax is very unsatisfying. This is a harmless, juvenile delinquent movie that isn't very good but might provide a few laughs, and is a prime candidate for any riffing project.
Stats:
(1961) 75 min. (* 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Boris Petroff
-Screenplay by Jane Mann & Don Devlin, Original Story by Jane Mann
-Cast: Ronnie Burns, Pamela Lincoln, Darrell Howe, Judy Howard, Michael Granger, Frank Killmond, Russ Bender, Don Devlin, William Salzwedel, Robert Stabler, John B. Lee, Pat McMahon
(PG-13)
In 1959, "Anatomy of a Murder" was released. In 1960, "Psycho" hit the theaters. One year later, "Anatomy of a Psycho" debuted. The only thing this film has in common with the previously mentioned classics is that "Anatomy of a Psycho" is also a film.
Chet (Darrell Howe) is down in the dumps. His big brother Duke (William Salzwedel) is being sent to the gas chamber for a murder. Duke helped raise Chet and their sister Pat (Pamela Lincoln), and Chet still believes in Duke's innocence. Even though the family is from the wrong side of the tracks, Pat has taken up with well-to-do Mickey (Ronnie Burns, son of George Burns and Gracie Allen). As coincidence would have it, Mickey is the son of the anonymous star witness (Russ Bender) who sent Duke to death row. And what of Chet's love life? He was taking up with the questionable Sandy (Judy Howard) who, as ANOTHER coincidence would have it, is now canoodling with the son of the judge who presided over Duke's trial. In the opening minutes of the film, Chet is slashed in the face with a broken bottle, and sports a large mobile scar on his cheek, and a giant chip on his shoulder. He and his gang beat up the son of the district attorney who prosecuted Duke's case, and Chet becomes a one-man crime spree until another fight results in a stabbing and suddenly Mickey is put on trial for murder...have you got all this?
Rumor has it that Ed Wood had a hand in the screenplay, and I totally believe it. I didn't even mention peripheral characters like the tough police lieutenant who is always hanging around, or the other members of Chet's shanty-dwelling gang. It's a lot for a seventy-five minute movie. The film is cheaply made, with some scenes making me laugh out loud. The life journey of Chet's facial scar could have been a film in itself. I think Pam and Mickey are high school students even though the actors were in their mid-twenties, and one hilarious scene has Pam begging Chet to go back to school, I assume to finish up his master's degree studies? Aside from Bobbie (Frank Killmond), all of the young male cast look alike. They have nice parted black hair, swarthy looks, and I was often confused about who was who, with the exception of Chet and his magical scar. Although the plot moves at a lightning fast pace, the first few scenes take place in a matter of hours, it's strange that most of the footage bored me. The pitch of the film is doable, but the execution (sorry, unintentional pun) is a disaster. The climax is very unsatisfying. This is a harmless, juvenile delinquent movie that isn't very good but might provide a few laughs, and is a prime candidate for any riffing project.
Stats:
(1961) 75 min. (* 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Boris Petroff
-Screenplay by Jane Mann & Don Devlin, Original Story by Jane Mann
-Cast: Ronnie Burns, Pamela Lincoln, Darrell Howe, Judy Howard, Michael Granger, Frank Killmond, Russ Bender, Don Devlin, William Salzwedel, Robert Stabler, John B. Lee, Pat McMahon
(PG-13)
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
While the original "Anchorman" ground its wheels in the finale, this film takes up where that one left off, error-wise.
Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) is fired from his job as his wife Veronica (Christina Applegate) takes a new position as a national anchor in New York City. Ron is approached by Freddie (Dylan Baker) to take the graveyard shift of a new cable news channel, and must reassemble his trusty news team and head to NYC. Champ (David Koechner) runs a disgusting fried chicken restaurant (they serve bat), Brian (Paul Rudd) takes photographs of kittens for inspirational posters, and Brick (Steve Carell) is thought dead. Veronica and Ron's son (Judah Nelson) are already in New York when the team finally arrives, with Veronica taking up with psychologist Gary (Greg Kinnear). Ron butts heads with the new network's star anchor Jack (James Marsden), as well as his new boss, Lisa (Meagan Good). Ron and his new boss begin dating, and Ron's newscasts are ratings blockbusters because they don't deliver the news people should watch, but want to watch. Of course, as narrator Bill Kurtis tells us, Ron has an Icarus-like fall, and must claw his way back into the lives of his family, and his news team.
The first half hour of the story, with Ron and Veronica breaking up and his reassembling of the news team is amusing, but also a mess of editing. There is no rhythm to the scenes, it seems the cuts are placed precisely before the actors break into laughter. I mostly grinned through the beginning of the film, until the cast hits New York, and things get terribly funny. The new cast members are great, holding their own with Ferrell and company. Kristen Wiig's Chani matches Brick line for line in weirdness. Meagan Good is perfect. There are oddball segments like Ron's lighthouse retreat and the raising of a shark, that had me question where the film makers were going before I gave in and somehow found myself giggling hysterically all the way through. Ferrell's Burgundy is a lovable buffoon, whether making inappropriate racist comments at Lisa's parents' dinner table, or cursing in front of his angelic son. McKay and Ferrell go way off the rails at the end, in an anchor team fight that will go down in movie history for all of its cameos, but the build-up to the special effects-laden silliness is both appropriate and very funny. This film is equal to the original film, but I am kind of hoping a Part 3 isn't on the horizon. It would be hard to beat the lunacy of this.
Stats:
(2013) 119 min. (* * * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Adam McKay
-Written by Will Ferrell & Adam McKay
-Cast: Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Steve Carell, David Koechner, Paul Rudd, Meagan Good, Dylan Baker, James Marsden, Judah Nelson, James Marsden, Greg Kinnear, Josh Lawson, Kristen Wiig
(PG-13)
While the original "Anchorman" ground its wheels in the finale, this film takes up where that one left off, error-wise.
Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) is fired from his job as his wife Veronica (Christina Applegate) takes a new position as a national anchor in New York City. Ron is approached by Freddie (Dylan Baker) to take the graveyard shift of a new cable news channel, and must reassemble his trusty news team and head to NYC. Champ (David Koechner) runs a disgusting fried chicken restaurant (they serve bat), Brian (Paul Rudd) takes photographs of kittens for inspirational posters, and Brick (Steve Carell) is thought dead. Veronica and Ron's son (Judah Nelson) are already in New York when the team finally arrives, with Veronica taking up with psychologist Gary (Greg Kinnear). Ron butts heads with the new network's star anchor Jack (James Marsden), as well as his new boss, Lisa (Meagan Good). Ron and his new boss begin dating, and Ron's newscasts are ratings blockbusters because they don't deliver the news people should watch, but want to watch. Of course, as narrator Bill Kurtis tells us, Ron has an Icarus-like fall, and must claw his way back into the lives of his family, and his news team.
The first half hour of the story, with Ron and Veronica breaking up and his reassembling of the news team is amusing, but also a mess of editing. There is no rhythm to the scenes, it seems the cuts are placed precisely before the actors break into laughter. I mostly grinned through the beginning of the film, until the cast hits New York, and things get terribly funny. The new cast members are great, holding their own with Ferrell and company. Kristen Wiig's Chani matches Brick line for line in weirdness. Meagan Good is perfect. There are oddball segments like Ron's lighthouse retreat and the raising of a shark, that had me question where the film makers were going before I gave in and somehow found myself giggling hysterically all the way through. Ferrell's Burgundy is a lovable buffoon, whether making inappropriate racist comments at Lisa's parents' dinner table, or cursing in front of his angelic son. McKay and Ferrell go way off the rails at the end, in an anchor team fight that will go down in movie history for all of its cameos, but the build-up to the special effects-laden silliness is both appropriate and very funny. This film is equal to the original film, but I am kind of hoping a Part 3 isn't on the horizon. It would be hard to beat the lunacy of this.
Stats:
(2013) 119 min. (* * * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Adam McKay
-Written by Will Ferrell & Adam McKay
-Cast: Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Steve Carell, David Koechner, Paul Rudd, Meagan Good, Dylan Baker, James Marsden, Judah Nelson, James Marsden, Greg Kinnear, Josh Lawson, Kristen Wiig
(PG-13)
Sunday, January 26, 2025
Ancient Evil: Scream of the Mummy (2000)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
In one of those situations only found in B movies, half a dozen students and their professor are living at a rural compound where they are studying an ancient Aztec mummy. The stock characters include our hero Don (Jeff Peterson), jerk Morris (Michael Lutz), nerdy Norman (Trent Latta), bland Arlando (Russell Richardson), smart and sassy virgin Stacey (Ariauna Albright), cute Janine (Michele Nordin as Michelle Erickson), and uptight alcoholic Professor Cyphers (Brenda Blondell). The students are all a-twitter over the mummy, a remarkably preserved specimen that will be the centerpiece of a new exhibit at the compound. Meanwhile, we have tenuous "Saved by the Bell"-type subplots happening, as Stacey waits for her boyfriend Scott (Christopher Cullen) to pick her up, Morris makes moves on Janine, Don and Arlando shake their heads at Morris, Morris picks on nerdy Norman, etc. These "modern" students even use words like "kegger" and "dude" to drive home their self-delusional coolness. Norman is not normal, he is in fact the last remaining high priest of an ancient Aztec religion. He does what looks like Tai chi over the mummy, who miraculously comes back to life and begins taking the cast out one by one with a nasty looking knife.
DeCoteau continues his "The Brotherhood" series penchant for showing hunky twenty-something guys in their skivvies. The entire film takes place in just two buildings, but instead of creating claustrophobic suspense, DeCoteau creates boredom. His direction is very good, up until his obsession with slowly tilting the camera back and forth in the finale, which had me reaching for Dramamine. DeCoteau's cast and co-written script are awful. No cast member escapes the stilted dialogue and stock characterization. The film consists of a lone character talking to an empty room before being killed by the limping, yet completely silent, mummy. While the mummy's makeup is pretty good, the prosthesis on his stomach makes it look like he has a beer gut. Most of the murders involve a whole lot of hacking and dicing, yet just a splash of fake blood. The little suspense DeCoteau generates with a well-lit set and effective music score dwindle into yet another silly B effort to cash in on a big screen cash cow- "The Mummy" series, obviously.
DeCoteau had the set, had the shots, had the music, had some makeup, and decided decent casting and a smart script were secondary. Not only is the mummy ancient and shuffling, so is this film. With a budget that seemed to be spent on blue light gels and mummy makeup, you get what you pay for with this disappointing effort.
Stats:
(2001) 86 min. (* 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by David DeCoteau
-Screenplay by Matthew Jason Walsh, Story by Matthew Jason Walsh & David DeCoteau
-Cast: Jeff Peterson, Michael Lutz, Trent Latta, Russell Richardson, Ariauna Albright, Michele Nordin, Brenda Blondell, Christopher Cullen, Christopher Bergschneider
(R)
In one of those situations only found in B movies, half a dozen students and their professor are living at a rural compound where they are studying an ancient Aztec mummy. The stock characters include our hero Don (Jeff Peterson), jerk Morris (Michael Lutz), nerdy Norman (Trent Latta), bland Arlando (Russell Richardson), smart and sassy virgin Stacey (Ariauna Albright), cute Janine (Michele Nordin as Michelle Erickson), and uptight alcoholic Professor Cyphers (Brenda Blondell). The students are all a-twitter over the mummy, a remarkably preserved specimen that will be the centerpiece of a new exhibit at the compound. Meanwhile, we have tenuous "Saved by the Bell"-type subplots happening, as Stacey waits for her boyfriend Scott (Christopher Cullen) to pick her up, Morris makes moves on Janine, Don and Arlando shake their heads at Morris, Morris picks on nerdy Norman, etc. These "modern" students even use words like "kegger" and "dude" to drive home their self-delusional coolness. Norman is not normal, he is in fact the last remaining high priest of an ancient Aztec religion. He does what looks like Tai chi over the mummy, who miraculously comes back to life and begins taking the cast out one by one with a nasty looking knife.
DeCoteau continues his "The Brotherhood" series penchant for showing hunky twenty-something guys in their skivvies. The entire film takes place in just two buildings, but instead of creating claustrophobic suspense, DeCoteau creates boredom. His direction is very good, up until his obsession with slowly tilting the camera back and forth in the finale, which had me reaching for Dramamine. DeCoteau's cast and co-written script are awful. No cast member escapes the stilted dialogue and stock characterization. The film consists of a lone character talking to an empty room before being killed by the limping, yet completely silent, mummy. While the mummy's makeup is pretty good, the prosthesis on his stomach makes it look like he has a beer gut. Most of the murders involve a whole lot of hacking and dicing, yet just a splash of fake blood. The little suspense DeCoteau generates with a well-lit set and effective music score dwindle into yet another silly B effort to cash in on a big screen cash cow- "The Mummy" series, obviously.
DeCoteau had the set, had the shots, had the music, had some makeup, and decided decent casting and a smart script were secondary. Not only is the mummy ancient and shuffling, so is this film. With a budget that seemed to be spent on blue light gels and mummy makeup, you get what you pay for with this disappointing effort.
Stats:
(2001) 86 min. (* 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by David DeCoteau
-Screenplay by Matthew Jason Walsh, Story by Matthew Jason Walsh & David DeCoteau
-Cast: Jeff Peterson, Michael Lutz, Trent Latta, Russell Richardson, Ariauna Albright, Michele Nordin, Brenda Blondell, Christopher Cullen, Christopher Bergschneider
(R)
Angel Eyes (2001)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
This is the kind of film that is impossible to categorize, and by the time you do, you realize there has been a vast Hollywood conspiracy to fool you, the viewer.
Jennifer Lopez is a tough as press-on nails cop named Sharon. She is the butt (tee-hee) of sexual harassment from all the chauvinist pigs (sorry) she works with. She is running down some stereotypical Chicago street scum when a mysterious man saves her life. His name is Catch (the normally reliable Jim Caviezel), and he wears a long coat and mopes around the streets acting mysteriously. Sharon and Catch begin a tentative love affair, despite the fact that they refuse to let each other into their respective lives. Catch is the aforementioned mysterian without a past, and Sharon is dealing with her mom-beating dad and her wife-beating brother. The two have a lot of fights, and a lot of apology scenes. Most of the film has them treading on egg shells around each other until the very good climax.
With an awful title like "Angel Eyes," you might expect something supernatural along the lines of "City of Angels" or even "The Sixth Sense." Wrong. The video box and movie poster would also lead you back to the whole angel angle. Wrong. I found this video in the "ACTION" section of my old video store. Wrong. Not knowing anything about the movie might explain its quick death at the box office, the studio did not know how to market the thing. Luis Mandoki's direction is very good, despite a couple of show-off angles. The script moves at a leisurely pace, although you will probably figure out Chance's big problem with the opening scenes. The best scenes involve the climax, the worst involve Lopez trying to be street smart. Jennifer Lopez runs hot and cold here. Her scenes with her dysfunctional family are well done and believable. Whoever decided that timeless Sonia Braga should play her mother and the intense Jeremy Sisto should play her brother should get a bonus paycheck. Both look like Lopez, and I totally believed they could be in the same family. Lopez's scenes where she banters with her cop buddies are sad. She seems ill at ease, and so do these boorish characters who were old thirty years before this came out. Caviezel does not seem to wake up until the end of the picture, his "mysterious nature" could be mistaken for boredom. Lopez and Caviezel have a nice chemistry, but by the time I realized this was a chick flick with profanity and gun play, it was too late. The main focus on Sharon, instead of Catch, is all wrong.
Despite a well-acted finale and nice direction, "Angel Eyes" fails to deliver because it never could decide what it wants to be.
Stats:
(2001) 102 min. (* * 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Luis Mandoki
-Written by Gerald Di Pego
-Cast: Jennifer Lopez, Jim Caviezel, Jeremy Sisto, Sonia Braga, Terrence Howard, Shirley Knight, Victor Argo, Monet Mazur, Danny Mags, Guylaine St-Onge, Connor McAuley, Jeremy Ratchford, Peter MacNeill
(R)
This is the kind of film that is impossible to categorize, and by the time you do, you realize there has been a vast Hollywood conspiracy to fool you, the viewer.
Jennifer Lopez is a tough as press-on nails cop named Sharon. She is the butt (tee-hee) of sexual harassment from all the chauvinist pigs (sorry) she works with. She is running down some stereotypical Chicago street scum when a mysterious man saves her life. His name is Catch (the normally reliable Jim Caviezel), and he wears a long coat and mopes around the streets acting mysteriously. Sharon and Catch begin a tentative love affair, despite the fact that they refuse to let each other into their respective lives. Catch is the aforementioned mysterian without a past, and Sharon is dealing with her mom-beating dad and her wife-beating brother. The two have a lot of fights, and a lot of apology scenes. Most of the film has them treading on egg shells around each other until the very good climax.
With an awful title like "Angel Eyes," you might expect something supernatural along the lines of "City of Angels" or even "The Sixth Sense." Wrong. The video box and movie poster would also lead you back to the whole angel angle. Wrong. I found this video in the "ACTION" section of my old video store. Wrong. Not knowing anything about the movie might explain its quick death at the box office, the studio did not know how to market the thing. Luis Mandoki's direction is very good, despite a couple of show-off angles. The script moves at a leisurely pace, although you will probably figure out Chance's big problem with the opening scenes. The best scenes involve the climax, the worst involve Lopez trying to be street smart. Jennifer Lopez runs hot and cold here. Her scenes with her dysfunctional family are well done and believable. Whoever decided that timeless Sonia Braga should play her mother and the intense Jeremy Sisto should play her brother should get a bonus paycheck. Both look like Lopez, and I totally believed they could be in the same family. Lopez's scenes where she banters with her cop buddies are sad. She seems ill at ease, and so do these boorish characters who were old thirty years before this came out. Caviezel does not seem to wake up until the end of the picture, his "mysterious nature" could be mistaken for boredom. Lopez and Caviezel have a nice chemistry, but by the time I realized this was a chick flick with profanity and gun play, it was too late. The main focus on Sharon, instead of Catch, is all wrong.
Despite a well-acted finale and nice direction, "Angel Eyes" fails to deliver because it never could decide what it wants to be.
Stats:
(2001) 102 min. (* * 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Luis Mandoki
-Written by Gerald Di Pego
-Cast: Jennifer Lopez, Jim Caviezel, Jeremy Sisto, Sonia Braga, Terrence Howard, Shirley Knight, Victor Argo, Monet Mazur, Danny Mags, Guylaine St-Onge, Connor McAuley, Jeremy Ratchford, Peter MacNeill
(R)
Angel Heart (1987)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
Mickey Rourke stars as the New York private detective Harry Angel. The setting is 1955, and this normally lowbrow investigator is hired by Louis Cyphre (Robert De Niro) to find a missing singer named Johnny Favorite, who owes Cyphre a debt. Angel begins making the usual inquiries, finding out that Favorite was an amnesiac WWII veteran who was spirited from the local hospital by a mysterious duo who paid a morphine addicted doctor to keep the patient on the books as a resident there. Angel seems to have hit a dead end, learning Favorite had a society girlfriend down south, as well as a secret lover. Cyphre keeps pushing Angel, plying him with cash. Angel also takes a more personal angle on the case, especially after the doctor ends up dead of an apparent suicide, and Angel is a murder suspect. Angel goes to New Orleans, and tracks down the society girlfriend Margaret (Charlotte Rampling). As Angel finds more and more people who used to know Favorite before the war, but have not seen him since, they start to turn up dead.
This film is most notorious for Cosby Show alum Lisa Bonet's sex and nude scenes, which are not all that notorious except that she was on the squeaky clean sitcom first. Rourke is very good as the slightly dumb Angel, who kind of stumbles from person to person as opposed to doing any kind of brilliant Sherlock Holmesian deductions. De Niro is great as Cyphre in his few scenes. This was made back when DeNiro did not agree to appear in EVERY film made and his very screen presence was an event. He should make more genre films, but he made the laughable "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein," instead. Rampling is given nothing to do except make a cute corpse. The main surprise ending of the story is too easy to figure out. Parker's visuals are stunning, nothing appeared on screen this disturbing until "Jacob's Ladder," to which this film favorably compares. His version of New Orleans is appropriately hot and humid, another great instance where he makes his main characters sweat and suffer just like normal people. A great look and good script, by Parker based on the novel by William Hjortberg.
All in all, "Angel Heart" succeeds enough times to make it a scary, suspenseful ride. You may know how it all comes out, but getting there is the fun.
Stats:
(1987) 113 min. (* * * * 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Alan Parker
-Written by Alan Parker based on the novel by William Hjortsberg
-Cast: Mickey Rourke, Robert De Niro, Lisa Bonet, Charlotte Rampling, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Kathleen Wilhoite, Stocker Fontelieu, Brownie McGhee, Michael Higgins, Elizabeth Whitcraft, Eliott Keener, Charles Gordone, Dann Florek
(R)
Mickey Rourke stars as the New York private detective Harry Angel. The setting is 1955, and this normally lowbrow investigator is hired by Louis Cyphre (Robert De Niro) to find a missing singer named Johnny Favorite, who owes Cyphre a debt. Angel begins making the usual inquiries, finding out that Favorite was an amnesiac WWII veteran who was spirited from the local hospital by a mysterious duo who paid a morphine addicted doctor to keep the patient on the books as a resident there. Angel seems to have hit a dead end, learning Favorite had a society girlfriend down south, as well as a secret lover. Cyphre keeps pushing Angel, plying him with cash. Angel also takes a more personal angle on the case, especially after the doctor ends up dead of an apparent suicide, and Angel is a murder suspect. Angel goes to New Orleans, and tracks down the society girlfriend Margaret (Charlotte Rampling). As Angel finds more and more people who used to know Favorite before the war, but have not seen him since, they start to turn up dead.
This film is most notorious for Cosby Show alum Lisa Bonet's sex and nude scenes, which are not all that notorious except that she was on the squeaky clean sitcom first. Rourke is very good as the slightly dumb Angel, who kind of stumbles from person to person as opposed to doing any kind of brilliant Sherlock Holmesian deductions. De Niro is great as Cyphre in his few scenes. This was made back when DeNiro did not agree to appear in EVERY film made and his very screen presence was an event. He should make more genre films, but he made the laughable "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein," instead. Rampling is given nothing to do except make a cute corpse. The main surprise ending of the story is too easy to figure out. Parker's visuals are stunning, nothing appeared on screen this disturbing until "Jacob's Ladder," to which this film favorably compares. His version of New Orleans is appropriately hot and humid, another great instance where he makes his main characters sweat and suffer just like normal people. A great look and good script, by Parker based on the novel by William Hjortberg.
All in all, "Angel Heart" succeeds enough times to make it a scary, suspenseful ride. You may know how it all comes out, but getting there is the fun.
Stats:
(1987) 113 min. (* * * * 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by Alan Parker
-Written by Alan Parker based on the novel by William Hjortsberg
-Cast: Mickey Rourke, Robert De Niro, Lisa Bonet, Charlotte Rampling, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Kathleen Wilhoite, Stocker Fontelieu, Brownie McGhee, Michael Higgins, Elizabeth Whitcraft, Eliott Keener, Charles Gordone, Dann Florek
(R)
Saturday, January 25, 2025
Angels in the Outfield (1951)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
This 1951 film was the inspiration for the 1993 remake with Christopher Lloyd and Danny Glover. While the remake was not terrible, Hollywood shows us that they once knew how to do things right.
Guffy McGovern (Paul Douglas) is the angry manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates. His team is losing, and he blows his top at the slightest provocation- from umpire calls he thinks are wrong to radio announcer Fred Bayles (Keenan Wynn), who rides Guffy's failures constantly. Home newspaper columnist Jennifer Paige (Janet Leigh) is assigned to cover the Pirates' losing season from a new perspective. Things are going into the dumpster when Guffy hears the angel Gabriel one night after a game. The angels field a team of their own, compromised of great players who have passed on, and this team is helping the Pirates. Why the Pirates? The angels are answering the prayers of eight year old orphan Bridget (Donna Corcoran), who one day spots the angels at Forbes Field while on an orphanage field trip. Soon, Jennifer and Guffy get involved, and Bridget works herself into Guffy's heart. Guffy starts following the angels' rules- no cussing and no fighting- rules Guffy finds hard to follow. The Pirates are suddenly in the run for the pennant, but Guffy loses his cool with Bayles once again and hits him. The angels pull their support, and Guffy and his team must rely on their collective talent. The final climactic game is classic.
Douglas is hilarious as the bachelor manager. Director Brown does a funny bit. Whenever Douglas is cursing, he speaks nonsense double talk, and Brown puts another vocal track of nonsense double talk on top of that. The effect is humorous, much like when Yosemite Sam would let loose with a string of "profanity" in the Warner Brothers cartoons. Leigh is a delight as the reporter, her veal recipe scene is very funny. Corcoran as Bridget is very good, without crossing over into saccharine emotions and over-extending the heart strings. Wynn is great as always, he has a running gag involving his ruined bridge work after his fights with Douglas. The film has some fun cameos from Joe DiMaggio, songwriter Harry Ruby, Ty Cobb, and Bing Crosby. Look for "Leave it to Beaver"'s Barbara Billingsley in a nonspeaking role as a hat check girl. "The Waltons"' Ellen Corby is here as an orphanage nun. Brown's direction is smart and understated. He wisely never shows the angels, and the audience gets to imagine what they look like from their description. To see the angels, you have to believe in them, so maybe Brown is saying something bigger here.
The 1951 original "Angels in the Outfield" is wonderful, smart, and funny.
Stats:
(1951) 99 min. (* * * * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Clarence Brown
-Screenplay by Dorothy Kingsley and George Wells, Story by Richard Conlin
-Cast: Paul Douglas, Janet Leigh, Keenan Wynn, Donna Corcoran, Lewis Stone, Spring Byington, Bruce Bennett, Ty Cobb, Bing Crosby, Joe DiMaggio, Marvin Kaplan, Harry Ruby, Barbara Billingsley
(Not Rated)
This 1951 film was the inspiration for the 1993 remake with Christopher Lloyd and Danny Glover. While the remake was not terrible, Hollywood shows us that they once knew how to do things right.
Guffy McGovern (Paul Douglas) is the angry manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates. His team is losing, and he blows his top at the slightest provocation- from umpire calls he thinks are wrong to radio announcer Fred Bayles (Keenan Wynn), who rides Guffy's failures constantly. Home newspaper columnist Jennifer Paige (Janet Leigh) is assigned to cover the Pirates' losing season from a new perspective. Things are going into the dumpster when Guffy hears the angel Gabriel one night after a game. The angels field a team of their own, compromised of great players who have passed on, and this team is helping the Pirates. Why the Pirates? The angels are answering the prayers of eight year old orphan Bridget (Donna Corcoran), who one day spots the angels at Forbes Field while on an orphanage field trip. Soon, Jennifer and Guffy get involved, and Bridget works herself into Guffy's heart. Guffy starts following the angels' rules- no cussing and no fighting- rules Guffy finds hard to follow. The Pirates are suddenly in the run for the pennant, but Guffy loses his cool with Bayles once again and hits him. The angels pull their support, and Guffy and his team must rely on their collective talent. The final climactic game is classic.
Douglas is hilarious as the bachelor manager. Director Brown does a funny bit. Whenever Douglas is cursing, he speaks nonsense double talk, and Brown puts another vocal track of nonsense double talk on top of that. The effect is humorous, much like when Yosemite Sam would let loose with a string of "profanity" in the Warner Brothers cartoons. Leigh is a delight as the reporter, her veal recipe scene is very funny. Corcoran as Bridget is very good, without crossing over into saccharine emotions and over-extending the heart strings. Wynn is great as always, he has a running gag involving his ruined bridge work after his fights with Douglas. The film has some fun cameos from Joe DiMaggio, songwriter Harry Ruby, Ty Cobb, and Bing Crosby. Look for "Leave it to Beaver"'s Barbara Billingsley in a nonspeaking role as a hat check girl. "The Waltons"' Ellen Corby is here as an orphanage nun. Brown's direction is smart and understated. He wisely never shows the angels, and the audience gets to imagine what they look like from their description. To see the angels, you have to believe in them, so maybe Brown is saying something bigger here.
The 1951 original "Angels in the Outfield" is wonderful, smart, and funny.
Stats:
(1951) 99 min. (* * * * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Clarence Brown
-Screenplay by Dorothy Kingsley and George Wells, Story by Richard Conlin
-Cast: Paul Douglas, Janet Leigh, Keenan Wynn, Donna Corcoran, Lewis Stone, Spring Byington, Bruce Bennett, Ty Cobb, Bing Crosby, Joe DiMaggio, Marvin Kaplan, Harry Ruby, Barbara Billingsley
(Not Rated)
Animal (2014)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
Drew Barrymore is one of many executive producers in this typical monster-on-the-loose flick.
A group of friends, including step-siblings Jeff (Parker Young) and Alissa (Keke Palmer), head to the woods to show their prospective life-partners Mandy (Elizabeth Gillies) and Matt (Jeremy Sumpter) where they used to camp as kids. Along for the ride is poor fifth wheel/slight comic relief Sean (Paul Iacono). After getting caught in the boonies after dark, they are attacked by what seems to be a bear with male pattern baldness, fleeing to a cabin where three responsible adults are hiding out. Carl (Thorsten Kaye), his wife Vicky (Joey Lauren Adams) and boo-hiss villain Douglas (Amaury Nolasco) are waiting in the pre-barricaded abandoned cabin after Douglas' wife (Eve, in either a cameo, or a supporting role that was left on the cutting room floor) was eaten by the monster. Infighting and badly thought-out escape plans begin, as well as some eye-rolling secrets the group of friends decide to unload before trying to outrun the creature.
The script doesn't explain a lot- like why the cabin was already fortified, and the origin of the title character. Simmons' direction is nice, the scenes in the woods are beautifully shot, but once the characters get indoors, the flow slows. I liked that the cast of bait figure out some things about the creature, and whether the thing possesses higher intelligence, but that kind of analysis is interrupted by Douglas wandering around a loft delivering unintentionally funny we're-all-gonna-die speeches. Palmer and Gillies are better known for past sitcoms on Nickelodeon ("True Jackson, VP" and "Victorious," both of which had their hysterical moments), and they transitioned into these adult roles well. Palmer is saddled with the unfortunate theme song over the end credits, and Adams is given nothing to do, I forgot she was in the film until she would show up onscreen. The gore and monster effects are good- when you can see them. Simmons keeps his camera shaky in the attack scenes, so you don't get a very good idea of what we are dealing with. A couple of jump scares will startle you, but the monster isn't all that scary, despite what the screaming reactions and a bum-bum John Carpenter-esque musical score tell you. Two of the characters are given short monologues that you know were done during the audition process.
"Animal" is average, not the worst thing out there, the watchable cast definitely helps.
Stats:
(2014) 82 min. (* * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Brett Simmons
-Written by Thommy Hutson, Catherine Trillo
-Cast: Keke Palmer, Elizabeth Gillies, Joey Lauren Adams, Parker Young, Jeremy Sumpter, Paul Iacono, Amaury Nolasco, Eve, Thorsten Kaye, Mike J. Regan
(Unrated)
Drew Barrymore is one of many executive producers in this typical monster-on-the-loose flick.
A group of friends, including step-siblings Jeff (Parker Young) and Alissa (Keke Palmer), head to the woods to show their prospective life-partners Mandy (Elizabeth Gillies) and Matt (Jeremy Sumpter) where they used to camp as kids. Along for the ride is poor fifth wheel/slight comic relief Sean (Paul Iacono). After getting caught in the boonies after dark, they are attacked by what seems to be a bear with male pattern baldness, fleeing to a cabin where three responsible adults are hiding out. Carl (Thorsten Kaye), his wife Vicky (Joey Lauren Adams) and boo-hiss villain Douglas (Amaury Nolasco) are waiting in the pre-barricaded abandoned cabin after Douglas' wife (Eve, in either a cameo, or a supporting role that was left on the cutting room floor) was eaten by the monster. Infighting and badly thought-out escape plans begin, as well as some eye-rolling secrets the group of friends decide to unload before trying to outrun the creature.
The script doesn't explain a lot- like why the cabin was already fortified, and the origin of the title character. Simmons' direction is nice, the scenes in the woods are beautifully shot, but once the characters get indoors, the flow slows. I liked that the cast of bait figure out some things about the creature, and whether the thing possesses higher intelligence, but that kind of analysis is interrupted by Douglas wandering around a loft delivering unintentionally funny we're-all-gonna-die speeches. Palmer and Gillies are better known for past sitcoms on Nickelodeon ("True Jackson, VP" and "Victorious," both of which had their hysterical moments), and they transitioned into these adult roles well. Palmer is saddled with the unfortunate theme song over the end credits, and Adams is given nothing to do, I forgot she was in the film until she would show up onscreen. The gore and monster effects are good- when you can see them. Simmons keeps his camera shaky in the attack scenes, so you don't get a very good idea of what we are dealing with. A couple of jump scares will startle you, but the monster isn't all that scary, despite what the screaming reactions and a bum-bum John Carpenter-esque musical score tell you. Two of the characters are given short monologues that you know were done during the audition process.
"Animal" is average, not the worst thing out there, the watchable cast definitely helps.
Stats:
(2014) 82 min. (* * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Brett Simmons
-Written by Thommy Hutson, Catherine Trillo
-Cast: Keke Palmer, Elizabeth Gillies, Joey Lauren Adams, Parker Young, Jeremy Sumpter, Paul Iacono, Amaury Nolasco, Eve, Thorsten Kaye, Mike J. Regan
(Unrated)
Animal Charm: Golden Digest (1996)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Broadcasting. Back in college, we used to have to sit and watch video projects from other Broadcasting students. Most of these, including my one and only foray into music video directing, were awful. It's nice to see Jim Fetterley and Rich Bott made one of their own terrible pieces of video and turned it into an undeserved career.
"Animal Charm: Golden Digest" is almost impossible to explain, and watch. Fetterley and Bott have taken old VHS footage from a variety of sources like training videos and infomercials, and combined them into a montage that runs ninety-six minutes. You might be thinking, as I did, "oh, cool, a bunch of bad videos edited together in a fun and watchable way!" You, and I, would be wrong.
While I am not sure what these guys' final outcome was supposed to be, I can say that what is on the screen is not good. The clips have a random order to them. There is no rhyme or reason to the collection, and the occasional titles to the clips do not help. Were Fetterley and Bott serious, trying to make a statement about our screen-centric society? Well, they failed. Were they trying to make a wacky collection, going for laughs? Failed again. I wanted to shut this off seven minutes in because it made me sad, and I knew I still had an hour and a half of this to go. Here's a prime example of what almost worked: in one scene, footage involving Q-Tips is edited together. One shot shows a cotton swab going into a person's nostril, then pulled out. The next shot shows a swab cleaning a cat's ear, and finally another shot has a swab being used on what looks like a container of bacteria, before looking like it's going back into the person's nose. I actually laughed, and thought that the film makers finally came up with a joke and punchline. Then, the video process repeated itself again and again and again. Any humor was lost. The entire DVD is like that- a nonsensical looping of snippets that instantly bore. You'd sleep, but the annoying audio samplings and music will make your eardrums rupture. This officially marked the last time I rented a disc from Netflix's old Independent- Experimental list.
All you film makers out there, and former Broadcasting students who are not using their degrees (like me) and want a way back in (not like me), try what Fetterley and Bott failed at. The disc will inspire you to scour the thrift stores in search of all those VHS tapes, and I'm betting you could put together something funnier and more entertaining- but if you have a song like "Sunshine Kitty" that you are dying to perform, then stop. (*) out of five stars.
Stats:
(1996) 96 min. (*) out of five stars
-Written and Directed by Rich Bott, Jim Fetterley
-Cast: Rich Bott, Jim Fetterley, Jimmy Smits, Gordon Lightfoot
(Not Rated)
I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Broadcasting. Back in college, we used to have to sit and watch video projects from other Broadcasting students. Most of these, including my one and only foray into music video directing, were awful. It's nice to see Jim Fetterley and Rich Bott made one of their own terrible pieces of video and turned it into an undeserved career.
"Animal Charm: Golden Digest" is almost impossible to explain, and watch. Fetterley and Bott have taken old VHS footage from a variety of sources like training videos and infomercials, and combined them into a montage that runs ninety-six minutes. You might be thinking, as I did, "oh, cool, a bunch of bad videos edited together in a fun and watchable way!" You, and I, would be wrong.
While I am not sure what these guys' final outcome was supposed to be, I can say that what is on the screen is not good. The clips have a random order to them. There is no rhyme or reason to the collection, and the occasional titles to the clips do not help. Were Fetterley and Bott serious, trying to make a statement about our screen-centric society? Well, they failed. Were they trying to make a wacky collection, going for laughs? Failed again. I wanted to shut this off seven minutes in because it made me sad, and I knew I still had an hour and a half of this to go. Here's a prime example of what almost worked: in one scene, footage involving Q-Tips is edited together. One shot shows a cotton swab going into a person's nostril, then pulled out. The next shot shows a swab cleaning a cat's ear, and finally another shot has a swab being used on what looks like a container of bacteria, before looking like it's going back into the person's nose. I actually laughed, and thought that the film makers finally came up with a joke and punchline. Then, the video process repeated itself again and again and again. Any humor was lost. The entire DVD is like that- a nonsensical looping of snippets that instantly bore. You'd sleep, but the annoying audio samplings and music will make your eardrums rupture. This officially marked the last time I rented a disc from Netflix's old Independent- Experimental list.
All you film makers out there, and former Broadcasting students who are not using their degrees (like me) and want a way back in (not like me), try what Fetterley and Bott failed at. The disc will inspire you to scour the thrift stores in search of all those VHS tapes, and I'm betting you could put together something funnier and more entertaining- but if you have a song like "Sunshine Kitty" that you are dying to perform, then stop. (*) out of five stars.
Stats:
(1996) 96 min. (*) out of five stars
-Written and Directed by Rich Bott, Jim Fetterley
-Cast: Rich Bott, Jim Fetterley, Jimmy Smits, Gordon Lightfoot
(Not Rated)
Nico, 1988 (2017)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
Maybe I shouldn’t have watched the brilliant documentary “Nico Icon” a few years ago before I watched this because this simple, experimental biopic doesn’t live up to that documentary film.
The film kinda covers the last three years in the now washed-up model/singer's life as she tours with "amateur junkies" throughout Europe while nursing her own heroin addiction, and a troubled relationship with her son Ari (Sandor Funtek), the product of a tryst with famed actor Alain Delon.
Trine Dyrholm does a fantastic job as Nico, yet another cast-off of Andy Warhol’s Factory days (there were a lot of “superstars” who eventually lost their favored status with the artist), but the film bogs down with secondary characters who may or may not have existed. Nico (aka Christa) had an off-kilter presence, so telling her story in an off-kilter way renders her almost normal- something she could never be accused of. I don’t like having to do an internet search to fill in a film’s plotholes or missing facts. This is interesting but slight, considering the subject.
Stats:
(2017) 93 min. (* * *) out of five stars
-Written and Directed by Susanna Nicchiarelli
-Cast: Trine Dyrholm, John Gordon Sinclair, Anamaria Marinca, Sandor Funtek, Thomas Trabacchi, Karina Fernandez, Calvin Demba, Francesco Colella, John Dobrynine, Lucio Patane, Matt Patresi, Nico, Andy Warhol
(R)- Mild physical violence, mild gore, profanity, some sexual content, some sexual references, adult situations, very strong drug abuse, strong alcohol and tobacco use
Maybe I shouldn’t have watched the brilliant documentary “Nico Icon” a few years ago before I watched this because this simple, experimental biopic doesn’t live up to that documentary film.
The film kinda covers the last three years in the now washed-up model/singer's life as she tours with "amateur junkies" throughout Europe while nursing her own heroin addiction, and a troubled relationship with her son Ari (Sandor Funtek), the product of a tryst with famed actor Alain Delon.
Trine Dyrholm does a fantastic job as Nico, yet another cast-off of Andy Warhol’s Factory days (there were a lot of “superstars” who eventually lost their favored status with the artist), but the film bogs down with secondary characters who may or may not have existed. Nico (aka Christa) had an off-kilter presence, so telling her story in an off-kilter way renders her almost normal- something she could never be accused of. I don’t like having to do an internet search to fill in a film’s plotholes or missing facts. This is interesting but slight, considering the subject.
Stats:
(2017) 93 min. (* * *) out of five stars
-Written and Directed by Susanna Nicchiarelli
-Cast: Trine Dyrholm, John Gordon Sinclair, Anamaria Marinca, Sandor Funtek, Thomas Trabacchi, Karina Fernandez, Calvin Demba, Francesco Colella, John Dobrynine, Lucio Patane, Matt Patresi, Nico, Andy Warhol
(R)- Mild physical violence, mild gore, profanity, some sexual content, some sexual references, adult situations, very strong drug abuse, strong alcohol and tobacco use
Animal Farm (1954)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
Based on the novel by George Orwell, this animated film is for adults and means just as much now as it did when released in the mid 1950's.
Manor Farm is run by the often drunk Farmer Jones. The neglected farm animals revolt, thanks to the inspiring words of an old hog, who dies and becomes a sudden martyr. The remaining animals adopt some simple rules, and get along swimmingly. Eventually, the animal utopia begins to crumble. The remaining pigs, led by the tyrannical Napoleon, begin taking advantage of the others' hard work. They dispatch enemies as needed, but still have enough power to rally the troops to fight off a violent invasion by Jones and his drinking buddies. As the pigs begin trading with a shady businessman from the outside world, the animals finally come to their senses and do what they should have done long ago.
Finally, an animated film for adults that actually challenges the viewer to think. No Disney-like cute factor, no songs by aging British rockers, this is a fascinating film. Orwell's book was written as a lambast against communism, fascism, and dictatorships in general, yet many of the pigs' selfish actions could be applied to modern government today. In the United States, we get upset at every mention of pork barrel (ironic) spending, yet we send our representatives back year after year because it is always some other state or district's politician who is causing the trouble. "Animal Farm" illustrates in simple, yet not dumbed down terms, the way power corrupts, especially by those whose motives seem so sincere to begin with.
"Animal Farm" is important, entertaining, and thought provoking. I would match this up against anything Disney has released in the past century. Yes, their audience goals are different, but as adults, it is nice to have something besides anime aimed at our heads. Great film.
Stats:
(1954) 72 min. (* * * * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Joy Batchelor, John Halas
-Story Development by Lothar Wolff & Borden Mace & Joseph Bryan III & John Halas & Joy Batchelor based on a story by George Orwell
-Cast: Gordon Heath, Maurice Denham
(Not Rated)
*BAFTA*
-Best Animated Film (lost to "Blinkity Blank")
Based on the novel by George Orwell, this animated film is for adults and means just as much now as it did when released in the mid 1950's.
Manor Farm is run by the often drunk Farmer Jones. The neglected farm animals revolt, thanks to the inspiring words of an old hog, who dies and becomes a sudden martyr. The remaining animals adopt some simple rules, and get along swimmingly. Eventually, the animal utopia begins to crumble. The remaining pigs, led by the tyrannical Napoleon, begin taking advantage of the others' hard work. They dispatch enemies as needed, but still have enough power to rally the troops to fight off a violent invasion by Jones and his drinking buddies. As the pigs begin trading with a shady businessman from the outside world, the animals finally come to their senses and do what they should have done long ago.
Finally, an animated film for adults that actually challenges the viewer to think. No Disney-like cute factor, no songs by aging British rockers, this is a fascinating film. Orwell's book was written as a lambast against communism, fascism, and dictatorships in general, yet many of the pigs' selfish actions could be applied to modern government today. In the United States, we get upset at every mention of pork barrel (ironic) spending, yet we send our representatives back year after year because it is always some other state or district's politician who is causing the trouble. "Animal Farm" illustrates in simple, yet not dumbed down terms, the way power corrupts, especially by those whose motives seem so sincere to begin with.
"Animal Farm" is important, entertaining, and thought provoking. I would match this up against anything Disney has released in the past century. Yes, their audience goals are different, but as adults, it is nice to have something besides anime aimed at our heads. Great film.
Stats:
(1954) 72 min. (* * * * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Joy Batchelor, John Halas
-Story Development by Lothar Wolff & Borden Mace & Joseph Bryan III & John Halas & Joy Batchelor based on a story by George Orwell
-Cast: Gordon Heath, Maurice Denham
(Not Rated)
*BAFTA*
-Best Animated Film (lost to "Blinkity Blank")
Friday, January 24, 2025
Book Review: "Guide to Home Videos and Movies" by Ryan Reed
*Get a copy of the book on Amazon here*
Video and film guides are nothing new. I remember picking up Leonard Maltin's thick paperback way back in elementary school, before internet and IMDB. Roger Ebert and Pauline Kael, among many others, released books of review collections. Back in the video explosion of the 1980's and 1990's, everyone seemed to be releasing guides- from the Videohound to the Phantom of the Movies.
A small publishing house called Santa Monica Press decided to put their fingers in the pie. I have seen their product before in thrift shops. Their guides are cheap paperbacks, filled with vague film descriptions, questionable opinions, and more misspellings than a third grade class' grammar pop quiz. I once found two of their video guides, with different covers, titles, and authors, yet opened them up and discovered the reviews were identical, word for word. It was with some trepidation that I plopped down a quarter for Ryan Reed's 1993 "Guide to Home Video and Movies," knowing what I did about the Press. It did not disappoint.
I actually am not sure what the title of the book is. The cover and spine read "Guide to Home Video and Movies," but the introduction refers to the tome as "Guide to Home Video Movies," without the 'and.' Reed, or whoever wrote this, uses a four star rating system...but hold on, one star does not necessarily mean the film is bad. Reed writes that even a two-star film has merit, but not enough "artistry" to render a three or four star rating. Already, the ratings are on shaky ground, but Reed is confident enough to call his 128 page book the "ultimate guide to the most popular and critically acclaimed films available..." so he must know what he is talking about. By the way, Reed's name is printed in a different font at the bottom of the introduction, making me wonder how long the publishers waited before coming up with the name "Ryan Reed."
Right away, I found misspellings. In the first review, for "Adam's Rib," Katharine Hepburn's first name is misspelled. Turn the page and find out how good John "Houston's" direction was in "The African Queen." I read this whole book in one sitting, and found at least one mistake every two pages. The reviews themselves may have been written years after the films were seen. The reviews are one paragraph, but padded with Oscar winning stats- come on, only four sentences on "2001: A Space Odyssey"? The choice of films is bizarre. "Aliens" is here, but not "Alien." In the review for "Back to the Future," Reed writes "...the first installment of one of the most successful film series of all time..." but neglects the two sequels. Factually, Reed or whoever, gets a lot wrong. Michael Douglas was not nominated for an Oscar for "Fatal Attraction," and saying Susan Sarandon makes a "remarkable major film debut" in "Atlantic City," ignores her previous work in such little pictures as "Joe," "Pretty Baby," "The Other Side of Midnight," "The Great Waldo Pepper," and "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."
Ending with "Zorba the Greek," I did not come away with any sort of individual tastes from Mr. Reed. He either writes grandiose statements about films, or semi-trashes them (in the case of "Pretty Woman," rightfully so) with the reader unable to take his opinions seriously. "Guide to Home Video and Movies" is lousy, try any other critic instead.
Video and film guides are nothing new. I remember picking up Leonard Maltin's thick paperback way back in elementary school, before internet and IMDB. Roger Ebert and Pauline Kael, among many others, released books of review collections. Back in the video explosion of the 1980's and 1990's, everyone seemed to be releasing guides- from the Videohound to the Phantom of the Movies.
A small publishing house called Santa Monica Press decided to put their fingers in the pie. I have seen their product before in thrift shops. Their guides are cheap paperbacks, filled with vague film descriptions, questionable opinions, and more misspellings than a third grade class' grammar pop quiz. I once found two of their video guides, with different covers, titles, and authors, yet opened them up and discovered the reviews were identical, word for word. It was with some trepidation that I plopped down a quarter for Ryan Reed's 1993 "Guide to Home Video and Movies," knowing what I did about the Press. It did not disappoint.
I actually am not sure what the title of the book is. The cover and spine read "Guide to Home Video and Movies," but the introduction refers to the tome as "Guide to Home Video Movies," without the 'and.' Reed, or whoever wrote this, uses a four star rating system...but hold on, one star does not necessarily mean the film is bad. Reed writes that even a two-star film has merit, but not enough "artistry" to render a three or four star rating. Already, the ratings are on shaky ground, but Reed is confident enough to call his 128 page book the "ultimate guide to the most popular and critically acclaimed films available..." so he must know what he is talking about. By the way, Reed's name is printed in a different font at the bottom of the introduction, making me wonder how long the publishers waited before coming up with the name "Ryan Reed."
Right away, I found misspellings. In the first review, for "Adam's Rib," Katharine Hepburn's first name is misspelled. Turn the page and find out how good John "Houston's" direction was in "The African Queen." I read this whole book in one sitting, and found at least one mistake every two pages. The reviews themselves may have been written years after the films were seen. The reviews are one paragraph, but padded with Oscar winning stats- come on, only four sentences on "2001: A Space Odyssey"? The choice of films is bizarre. "Aliens" is here, but not "Alien." In the review for "Back to the Future," Reed writes "...the first installment of one of the most successful film series of all time..." but neglects the two sequels. Factually, Reed or whoever, gets a lot wrong. Michael Douglas was not nominated for an Oscar for "Fatal Attraction," and saying Susan Sarandon makes a "remarkable major film debut" in "Atlantic City," ignores her previous work in such little pictures as "Joe," "Pretty Baby," "The Other Side of Midnight," "The Great Waldo Pepper," and "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."
Ending with "Zorba the Greek," I did not come away with any sort of individual tastes from Mr. Reed. He either writes grandiose statements about films, or semi-trashes them (in the case of "Pretty Woman," rightfully so) with the reader unable to take his opinions seriously. "Guide to Home Video and Movies" is lousy, try any other critic instead.
Animal Instincts III (1996)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
Joanna (Alexander Keith as Wendy Schumacher) is a world renowned best selling author/sex expert. She is very famous, but still finds time to entertain the little people by having sex in public places with total strangers thanks to her chronic exhibitionism. She meets Alex (James Matthew), the world renowned blind record producer/knife thrower. Do you see the irony? An exhibitionist is dating a blind man! Don't the possibilities stun you? I am not giving anything away here, but Alex's blindness is fake, he is playing mind games with Joanna because...well, I don't know why and you won't care. Making Alex's character a record producer means Joanna gets to bed a bunch of musician stereotypes right in front of Alex, never questioning his poorly played infirmity.
Gregory Dark, renowned porn creator and Britney Spears' former music video director, brings little visual flair to the stupid script. The screenwriter tries to say something about the state of relationships, but his thought-provoking lines are delivered by actors who wouldn't get a callback for a kindergarten pageant about the importance of brushing your teeth. Also known as "Animal Instincts- The Seductress," this also lacks Shannon Whirry of the first two "Animal Instincts" films, replacing her with pouty Schumacher. Slight film, slight review.
Stats:
(1996) 96 min. (*) out of five stars
-Directed by Gregory Dark
-Written by Mike McPadden
-Cast: Alexander Keith, James Matthew, Marcus Grahm, John Bates, Anthony Lesa, Jenteal, G. Larry Butler, Sam Cupae, Brian Salatino, Jacqueline Lovell
(R)
Joanna (Alexander Keith as Wendy Schumacher) is a world renowned best selling author/sex expert. She is very famous, but still finds time to entertain the little people by having sex in public places with total strangers thanks to her chronic exhibitionism. She meets Alex (James Matthew), the world renowned blind record producer/knife thrower. Do you see the irony? An exhibitionist is dating a blind man! Don't the possibilities stun you? I am not giving anything away here, but Alex's blindness is fake, he is playing mind games with Joanna because...well, I don't know why and you won't care. Making Alex's character a record producer means Joanna gets to bed a bunch of musician stereotypes right in front of Alex, never questioning his poorly played infirmity.
Gregory Dark, renowned porn creator and Britney Spears' former music video director, brings little visual flair to the stupid script. The screenwriter tries to say something about the state of relationships, but his thought-provoking lines are delivered by actors who wouldn't get a callback for a kindergarten pageant about the importance of brushing your teeth. Also known as "Animal Instincts- The Seductress," this also lacks Shannon Whirry of the first two "Animal Instincts" films, replacing her with pouty Schumacher. Slight film, slight review.
Stats:
(1996) 96 min. (*) out of five stars
-Directed by Gregory Dark
-Written by Mike McPadden
-Cast: Alexander Keith, James Matthew, Marcus Grahm, John Bates, Anthony Lesa, Jenteal, G. Larry Butler, Sam Cupae, Brian Salatino, Jacqueline Lovell
(R)
The Abductors (1972)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
Meet Ginger. She is the ultra-feminist secret agent created to counterbalance that male chauvinist pig James Bond 007. In this film, she solves a case that has no global significance whatsoever.
Ginger (Cheri Caffaro), wears hideous knit costumes, can seduce men in a single bound, and applies makeup with a trowel. A gang of henchmen, led by Jablon (Patrick Wright), kidnap three young beauties. They psychologically torture the girls until they submit, then sell them to rich men as mistresses in bondage. Jason Varone (William Grannell), a poor man's M, calls in Ginger to investigate the case. Ginger's secret agent gadget? Small radar disks that can be swallowed, then tracked by someone with a radar set up in their car. Ginger sets about trying to save this skeevy part of the world.
In re-editing this review, I dropped THREE paragraphs of awful plot- you're welcome. This was the middle film in a trilogy of crud featuring the character Ginger. The naked women were nice to look at, in the halcyon days before breast implants. Be warned, hairy middle-aged male villains are on as much display as the women. Schain's direction consists of nailing the camera to the floor and slowly zooming in and out of each scene. For a secret agent, Ginger is kind of an idiot. Her idea of feminism is taking off her clothes and acting horny so some henchmen will untie her. Most of the cast has not worked since this series, and it is easy to see why. Sure, it's exploitation, but it is also monumentally bad, and the fun is soon forgotten.
I sentence "The Abductors" to solitary, never to be seen again. A sequel to "Ginger," this was followed by "Girls Are for Loving."
Stats:
(1972) 90 min. (*) out of five stars
-Written and Directed by Don Schain
-Cast: Cheri Caffaro, Patrick Wright, William Grannell, Richard Smedley, Laurie Rose, Anthony Barone, Gerie Bronson, Nick Cockinos, Jeramie Rain, Stan Franklin, Rudy Hornish, Eli Levine, Harry Reems
(R)
Meet Ginger. She is the ultra-feminist secret agent created to counterbalance that male chauvinist pig James Bond 007. In this film, she solves a case that has no global significance whatsoever.
Ginger (Cheri Caffaro), wears hideous knit costumes, can seduce men in a single bound, and applies makeup with a trowel. A gang of henchmen, led by Jablon (Patrick Wright), kidnap three young beauties. They psychologically torture the girls until they submit, then sell them to rich men as mistresses in bondage. Jason Varone (William Grannell), a poor man's M, calls in Ginger to investigate the case. Ginger's secret agent gadget? Small radar disks that can be swallowed, then tracked by someone with a radar set up in their car. Ginger sets about trying to save this skeevy part of the world.
In re-editing this review, I dropped THREE paragraphs of awful plot- you're welcome. This was the middle film in a trilogy of crud featuring the character Ginger. The naked women were nice to look at, in the halcyon days before breast implants. Be warned, hairy middle-aged male villains are on as much display as the women. Schain's direction consists of nailing the camera to the floor and slowly zooming in and out of each scene. For a secret agent, Ginger is kind of an idiot. Her idea of feminism is taking off her clothes and acting horny so some henchmen will untie her. Most of the cast has not worked since this series, and it is easy to see why. Sure, it's exploitation, but it is also monumentally bad, and the fun is soon forgotten.
I sentence "The Abductors" to solitary, never to be seen again. A sequel to "Ginger," this was followed by "Girls Are for Loving."
Stats:
(1972) 90 min. (*) out of five stars
-Written and Directed by Don Schain
-Cast: Cheri Caffaro, Patrick Wright, William Grannell, Richard Smedley, Laurie Rose, Anthony Barone, Gerie Bronson, Nick Cockinos, Jeramie Rain, Stan Franklin, Rudy Hornish, Eli Levine, Harry Reems
(R)
Ankhon Dekhi (Before My Eyes) (2013)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
Deciding to reject everything you have assumed in life, and only believing what you experience physically, is a strange way to live. Is the Earth round? Maybe, but you only see flatness. Is there a God? Perhaps, but where are the miracles? Rajat Kapoor gives us an entertaining story of one man's rejection of his own world.
Bauji (Sanjay Mishra) is the patriarch of his crowded household that includes his wife Amma (Seema Pahwa) and children, as well as his brother's family. After his daughter Rita (Maya Sarao) is forbidden to see her new boyfriend Ajju (Namit Das), Bauji and his friends decide to go to the young lothario's home to rough him up and keep him from his daughter. What they find at Ajju's house is a nice young man terrified that these men have forced their way in and want to harm him. Bauji is changed by this. Ajju is nothing like he was told, and Bauji decides from then on he will only believe what he can see and experience personally. His family is thrown into tumult as he quits his job as a travel agent- how can he book passengers to fly to cities he has never seen?, and eventually acquires a group of followers. They sit around his house, and quiz him, first to laugh at him, then to learn from him. Chacha (Rajat Kapoor), Bauji's brother, moves out, and a rift develops as Bauji uses his new philosophy trying to solve everyday problems like his son who is flunking math, and another family member who is suddenly in debt to a gambling house.
Kapoor writes, directs, and costars in this nice little fable. It rarely goes outside of the family's small group of rooms, but Kapoor does a great job of keeping things moving. In fact, this could easily be adapted to play on the stage, the themes are universal, and many observers will be able to relate to Bauji. Sanjay Mishra is wonderful as Bauji. He is soft-spoken, and as an actor, he doesn't call attention to his character by chewing the scenery or stealing scenes. The progression of his mocking, then worshipping, disciples is nicely handled. There are light touches mixed with the pathos, although some of the subplots wander in their own direction and get lost. Kapoor's screenplay lurches off the narrative path here and there. I could see a Hollywood remake of this going the goofball comedy route, so Kapoor should be applauded for digging deeper, and not insulting the viewer's intelligence with dumb situations.
"Ankhon Dekhi (Before My Eyes)" is definitely worth a look. This is one of those films that you are sad to see end (in a memorable climax), but Bauji and his outlook will stick with you.
Stats:
(2013) 107 min. (* * * *) out of five stars
-Written and Directed by Rajat Kapoor
-Cast: Sanjay Mishra, Seema Pahwa, Maya Saao, Namit Das, Rajat Kapoor, Manish Karnatak, Anil Chaudhary, Alka Chatwal, Manu Rishi Chadha, Brijendra Kala,Taranjit Kaur, Rajat Kapoor, Mahesh Sharma, Chandrachoor Rai
(Not Rated)
Deciding to reject everything you have assumed in life, and only believing what you experience physically, is a strange way to live. Is the Earth round? Maybe, but you only see flatness. Is there a God? Perhaps, but where are the miracles? Rajat Kapoor gives us an entertaining story of one man's rejection of his own world.
Bauji (Sanjay Mishra) is the patriarch of his crowded household that includes his wife Amma (Seema Pahwa) and children, as well as his brother's family. After his daughter Rita (Maya Sarao) is forbidden to see her new boyfriend Ajju (Namit Das), Bauji and his friends decide to go to the young lothario's home to rough him up and keep him from his daughter. What they find at Ajju's house is a nice young man terrified that these men have forced their way in and want to harm him. Bauji is changed by this. Ajju is nothing like he was told, and Bauji decides from then on he will only believe what he can see and experience personally. His family is thrown into tumult as he quits his job as a travel agent- how can he book passengers to fly to cities he has never seen?, and eventually acquires a group of followers. They sit around his house, and quiz him, first to laugh at him, then to learn from him. Chacha (Rajat Kapoor), Bauji's brother, moves out, and a rift develops as Bauji uses his new philosophy trying to solve everyday problems like his son who is flunking math, and another family member who is suddenly in debt to a gambling house.
Kapoor writes, directs, and costars in this nice little fable. It rarely goes outside of the family's small group of rooms, but Kapoor does a great job of keeping things moving. In fact, this could easily be adapted to play on the stage, the themes are universal, and many observers will be able to relate to Bauji. Sanjay Mishra is wonderful as Bauji. He is soft-spoken, and as an actor, he doesn't call attention to his character by chewing the scenery or stealing scenes. The progression of his mocking, then worshipping, disciples is nicely handled. There are light touches mixed with the pathos, although some of the subplots wander in their own direction and get lost. Kapoor's screenplay lurches off the narrative path here and there. I could see a Hollywood remake of this going the goofball comedy route, so Kapoor should be applauded for digging deeper, and not insulting the viewer's intelligence with dumb situations.
"Ankhon Dekhi (Before My Eyes)" is definitely worth a look. This is one of those films that you are sad to see end (in a memorable climax), but Bauji and his outlook will stick with you.
Stats:
(2013) 107 min. (* * * *) out of five stars
-Written and Directed by Rajat Kapoor
-Cast: Sanjay Mishra, Seema Pahwa, Maya Saao, Namit Das, Rajat Kapoor, Manish Karnatak, Anil Chaudhary, Alka Chatwal, Manu Rishi Chadha, Brijendra Kala,Taranjit Kaur, Rajat Kapoor, Mahesh Sharma, Chandrachoor Rai
(Not Rated)
Thursday, January 23, 2025
Anna Christie (1930)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
"The first film that Greta Garbo spoke in" is the only reason this old chestnut should be sought out.
Based on the play by Eugene O'Neill, New York City-based drunk barge captain Chris (George F. Marion) waits for his long lost daughter Anna (Greta Garbo) to arrive. He dumps equally drunk galpal Marthy (Marie Dressler), and Anna arrives and joins Chris on the barge circuit, and Chris loves having his daughter around. Anna begins to warm up to the father she has not seen in fifteen years, but she also has a deep dark secret. She was not working as a nurse back in St. Paul, she ran away from some amorous cousins on the farm and ended up in a brothel. Anna and Chris rescue shipwrecked Irish sailor Matt (Charles Bickford), and Matt and Anna soon fall in love. There is no love lost between Matt and Chris, as both are protective of their good little girl. Marthy shows up long enough to make Anna feel guilty about her soiled past as Matt decides on a future with Anna.
Filmed in 1930, this movie does not move well. The script's origins are obviously stage bound, and Brown's direction never gets very imaginative unless he is allowed to take his camera out of the set. Nice scenes include Anna and Matt's date at the carnival, and a storm scene. Also interesting is seeing the New York City skyline of generations ago. Frances Marion's script bogs down in slow scenes with bad pacing. Garbo succumbs to theatrical acting, constantly grasping her hair and trying to wear her emotions on her sleeves. Bickford is okay as Matt, although he sometimes seems more concerned with getting his Irish accent right as opposed to understanding what his lines mean. Dressler plays Marthy for laughs, although she is more sad than humorous. The early sound technology is horrible, and all the European accents are very difficult to understand. Brown also tries some backscreening processes that fail miserably. This leaves George F. Marion as Anna's father, and he is incredible. He originated the role on Broadway, and played him in a silent film version, but his performance is fresh and likable. He is so comfortable as Chris, he makes the characterization effortless, as opposed to the often hysterical overacting of the rest of the cast. Eugene O'Neill has been filmed better, check out John Ford's "The Long Voyage Home." The idea of a sullied woman trying to escape her past has been done before, since, and better.
"Anna Christie" should be avoided, unless you are a big Garbo fan, or would like to see Marion turn in one of the most underrated film performances of the 1930's.
Stats:
(1930) 89 min. (* *) out of five stars
-Directed by Clarence Brown
-Adapted by Frances Marion from the play by Eugene O'Neill
-Cast: Greta Garbo, Charles Bickford, George F. Marion, Marie Dressler, James T. Mack, Lee Phelps, Jack Baxley, William H. O'Brien, Robert Parrish
(Not Rated)
*Academy Awards*
-Best Actress- Greta Garbo (lost to Norma Shearer "The Divorcee")
-Best Director- Clarence Brown (lost to Lewis Milestone "All Quiet on the Western Front")
-Best Cinematography (lost to "With Byrd at the South Pole")
"The first film that Greta Garbo spoke in" is the only reason this old chestnut should be sought out.
Based on the play by Eugene O'Neill, New York City-based drunk barge captain Chris (George F. Marion) waits for his long lost daughter Anna (Greta Garbo) to arrive. He dumps equally drunk galpal Marthy (Marie Dressler), and Anna arrives and joins Chris on the barge circuit, and Chris loves having his daughter around. Anna begins to warm up to the father she has not seen in fifteen years, but she also has a deep dark secret. She was not working as a nurse back in St. Paul, she ran away from some amorous cousins on the farm and ended up in a brothel. Anna and Chris rescue shipwrecked Irish sailor Matt (Charles Bickford), and Matt and Anna soon fall in love. There is no love lost between Matt and Chris, as both are protective of their good little girl. Marthy shows up long enough to make Anna feel guilty about her soiled past as Matt decides on a future with Anna.
Filmed in 1930, this movie does not move well. The script's origins are obviously stage bound, and Brown's direction never gets very imaginative unless he is allowed to take his camera out of the set. Nice scenes include Anna and Matt's date at the carnival, and a storm scene. Also interesting is seeing the New York City skyline of generations ago. Frances Marion's script bogs down in slow scenes with bad pacing. Garbo succumbs to theatrical acting, constantly grasping her hair and trying to wear her emotions on her sleeves. Bickford is okay as Matt, although he sometimes seems more concerned with getting his Irish accent right as opposed to understanding what his lines mean. Dressler plays Marthy for laughs, although she is more sad than humorous. The early sound technology is horrible, and all the European accents are very difficult to understand. Brown also tries some backscreening processes that fail miserably. This leaves George F. Marion as Anna's father, and he is incredible. He originated the role on Broadway, and played him in a silent film version, but his performance is fresh and likable. He is so comfortable as Chris, he makes the characterization effortless, as opposed to the often hysterical overacting of the rest of the cast. Eugene O'Neill has been filmed better, check out John Ford's "The Long Voyage Home." The idea of a sullied woman trying to escape her past has been done before, since, and better.
"Anna Christie" should be avoided, unless you are a big Garbo fan, or would like to see Marion turn in one of the most underrated film performances of the 1930's.
Stats:
(1930) 89 min. (* *) out of five stars
-Directed by Clarence Brown
-Adapted by Frances Marion from the play by Eugene O'Neill
-Cast: Greta Garbo, Charles Bickford, George F. Marion, Marie Dressler, James T. Mack, Lee Phelps, Jack Baxley, William H. O'Brien, Robert Parrish
(Not Rated)
*Academy Awards*
-Best Actress- Greta Garbo (lost to Norma Shearer "The Divorcee")
-Best Director- Clarence Brown (lost to Lewis Milestone "All Quiet on the Western Front")
-Best Cinematography (lost to "With Byrd at the South Pole")
And Then Came Eve (1976)
*Get a copy of 7 Lies That Will Ruin Your Life by Joshua Broome on Amazon here*
Although not "Thelma & Louise," Gloria and Eve team up to turn the tables on the male chauvinists in their lives.
Gloria and Eve (played by Ane Task and Olga Davis, but I am not sure who is who), decide they have had it with men calling the shots in their relationships just because of a nice steak dinner. They have a package delivered by a lucky guy named Ed, and as Gloria holds a gun on him, Eve has her way with him. Gloria also takes a turn, and at this point Ed doesn't need to be held at gunpoint to give these women what they want. After their scene, any editing and story structure is forgotten- a hippie dude and one woman get it on by a pool while Gloria shows another man in to be "punished" by another woman. The hippie dude goes inside with the Black woman, who promptly disappears, and hippie must do another woman's bidding. Gloria comes back in (why this wasn't called "And Then Came Gloria" is beyond me) with yet another guy to show everyone how it's done. Eve makes a triumphant return to her own movie in a goofy finale.
The sound design on the film is a hysterical disaster. Muzak versions of contemporary pop songs are played, along with moans of pleasure and dialogue obviously NOT from the shoot for this film. Finally, in most of the sex scenes, there is a sloshing/slurping sound that had me giggling. It is almost as loud as the music and promptly removes any eroticism onscreen.
"And Then Came Eve" could have been a feminist-themed pornographic film, but evidently someone remembered porn shouldn't contain a message. Too bad.
Stats:
(1976) 56 min. (0 *) out of five stars
-Directed by Lee Cooper
-No Writer Credited
-Cast: Ane Task, Olga Davis, Carl Ross, Tim Bale, Cicely Gardner, Ron O'Rouke, Jane Tyson
(X)
Although not "Thelma & Louise," Gloria and Eve team up to turn the tables on the male chauvinists in their lives.
Gloria and Eve (played by Ane Task and Olga Davis, but I am not sure who is who), decide they have had it with men calling the shots in their relationships just because of a nice steak dinner. They have a package delivered by a lucky guy named Ed, and as Gloria holds a gun on him, Eve has her way with him. Gloria also takes a turn, and at this point Ed doesn't need to be held at gunpoint to give these women what they want. After their scene, any editing and story structure is forgotten- a hippie dude and one woman get it on by a pool while Gloria shows another man in to be "punished" by another woman. The hippie dude goes inside with the Black woman, who promptly disappears, and hippie must do another woman's bidding. Gloria comes back in (why this wasn't called "And Then Came Gloria" is beyond me) with yet another guy to show everyone how it's done. Eve makes a triumphant return to her own movie in a goofy finale.
The sound design on the film is a hysterical disaster. Muzak versions of contemporary pop songs are played, along with moans of pleasure and dialogue obviously NOT from the shoot for this film. Finally, in most of the sex scenes, there is a sloshing/slurping sound that had me giggling. It is almost as loud as the music and promptly removes any eroticism onscreen.
"And Then Came Eve" could have been a feminist-themed pornographic film, but evidently someone remembered porn shouldn't contain a message. Too bad.
Stats:
(1976) 56 min. (0 *) out of five stars
-Directed by Lee Cooper
-No Writer Credited
-Cast: Ane Task, Olga Davis, Carl Ross, Tim Bale, Cicely Gardner, Ron O'Rouke, Jane Tyson
(X)
Annie Hall (1977)
*Get the film on Amazon here*
Yep, this is it. The film that beat "Star Wars" for the Best Picture Oscar for the year 1977. After seeing all five Best Picture nominees (the others were "Julia," "The Goodbye Girl," and "The Turning Point") for that year, "Annie Hall" is the worst of them.
Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) lives in New York and falls in love with Annie Hall (Diane Keaton). Their romance affects his friendships, his life, and his career as a comedian. Alvy begins looking for parallels between Annie and his two ex-wives, waiting to see what will go wrong here as well. The couple never seem right for each other, as Annie comes into her own.
While Allen can certainly write and direct a film, his screenplay here is a disappointment. Allen jumps back and forth in time, but without a reason. Maybe the flash and whistles were to cover the fact that the basic romance between Annie and Alvy is as compelling as watching paint dry. I did not care about these two people because Allen did not give me any reason to. The cast is certainly funny and charming, but that is a credit to the actors more than the material. The film plays like a series of Allen's best ideas, full of gut wrenching laughs. Come on, his grandmother never gave him anything because she was too busy getting raped by the Cossacks? Annie's family's reaction to the Jewish Alvy is also classic. The film is full of "classic moments" that are wonderful when taken separately, but fail in the overall feel of the film- my identical reaction to "There's Something About Mary." I kept getting this odd feeling that "Annie Hall" was trying to deceive me, like a bait and switch. You go in expecting at least a classic romantic comedy, instead you get the comedy and no desire to see these two people together in the end.
"Annie Hall" is one of the more average films in the Woody Allen filmography. You can spot themes that he will revisit time and time again. My two favorite films of his at the point I saw this were "Take the Money and Run" and "Radio Days." My two least favorite films of his were "September" and "Alice." "Annie Hall" falls right in the middle- simply average. (* * *) out of five stars
Stats:
(1977) 93 min. (* * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Woody Allen
-Written by Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman
-Cast: Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, Tony Roberts, Carol Kane, Paul Simon, Janet Margolin, Shelley Duvall, Christopher Walken, Colleen Dewhurst, John Glover, Jeff Goldblum, Marshall McLuhan, Dick Cavett
(PG)
*Academy Awards*
-Best Picture (won)
-Best Actor- Woody Allen (lost to Richard Dreyfuss "The Goodbye Girl")
-Best Actress- Diane Keaton (won)
-Best Director- Woody Allen (won)
-Best Original Screenplay (won)
*BAFTA*
-Best Film (won)
-Best Actor- Woody Allen (lost to Peter Finch "Network")
-Best Actress- Diane Keaton (won)
-Best Director- Woody Allen (won)
-Best Screenplay (won)
-Best Film Editing (won)
Yep, this is it. The film that beat "Star Wars" for the Best Picture Oscar for the year 1977. After seeing all five Best Picture nominees (the others were "Julia," "The Goodbye Girl," and "The Turning Point") for that year, "Annie Hall" is the worst of them.
Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) lives in New York and falls in love with Annie Hall (Diane Keaton). Their romance affects his friendships, his life, and his career as a comedian. Alvy begins looking for parallels between Annie and his two ex-wives, waiting to see what will go wrong here as well. The couple never seem right for each other, as Annie comes into her own.
While Allen can certainly write and direct a film, his screenplay here is a disappointment. Allen jumps back and forth in time, but without a reason. Maybe the flash and whistles were to cover the fact that the basic romance between Annie and Alvy is as compelling as watching paint dry. I did not care about these two people because Allen did not give me any reason to. The cast is certainly funny and charming, but that is a credit to the actors more than the material. The film plays like a series of Allen's best ideas, full of gut wrenching laughs. Come on, his grandmother never gave him anything because she was too busy getting raped by the Cossacks? Annie's family's reaction to the Jewish Alvy is also classic. The film is full of "classic moments" that are wonderful when taken separately, but fail in the overall feel of the film- my identical reaction to "There's Something About Mary." I kept getting this odd feeling that "Annie Hall" was trying to deceive me, like a bait and switch. You go in expecting at least a classic romantic comedy, instead you get the comedy and no desire to see these two people together in the end.
"Annie Hall" is one of the more average films in the Woody Allen filmography. You can spot themes that he will revisit time and time again. My two favorite films of his at the point I saw this were "Take the Money and Run" and "Radio Days." My two least favorite films of his were "September" and "Alice." "Annie Hall" falls right in the middle- simply average. (* * *) out of five stars
Stats:
(1977) 93 min. (* * *) out of five stars
-Directed by Woody Allen
-Written by Woody Allen and Marshall Brickman
-Cast: Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, Tony Roberts, Carol Kane, Paul Simon, Janet Margolin, Shelley Duvall, Christopher Walken, Colleen Dewhurst, John Glover, Jeff Goldblum, Marshall McLuhan, Dick Cavett
(PG)
*Academy Awards*
-Best Picture (won)
-Best Actor- Woody Allen (lost to Richard Dreyfuss "The Goodbye Girl")
-Best Actress- Diane Keaton (won)
-Best Director- Woody Allen (won)
-Best Original Screenplay (won)
*BAFTA*
-Best Film (won)
-Best Actor- Woody Allen (lost to Peter Finch "Network")
-Best Actress- Diane Keaton (won)
-Best Director- Woody Allen (won)
-Best Screenplay (won)
-Best Film Editing (won)
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