A family suffers a loss in the opening of this cheap little horror reject.
The dead man's daughter decides to work through her pain by antiquing. She goes into a little shop owned by a guy named "Beezle" (get it? get it?), buys a giant ugly crystal, and takes it home to her grieving mother. So far, so mediocre.
The most jaw dropping moment comes when the daughter decides to distract her mother from the grieving process by holding a seance. Yes, let's get Mom over her loss by calling the spirit of her dead husband. Anyway, the crystal holds a poorly realized generic demon that has hot devil lovin' with the daughter while Beezle hangs around the house and laughs at the demonic proceedings.
The special effects here consist of a small light show on the dining room wall, and very cheap video effects. In the finale, the daughter's husband, who we find out is a cop, goes into the medicine cabinet, mixes some blue fluid in a spray bottle, and spritzes the demon from whence he came. What was the blue stuff? Demon repellent? Windex? The blue stuff barbers use for combs? This rather important piece of info is never explained. This cheap film is bad, the actors are amateurish, as well as the script. A sequel followed, since Beezle inexplicably gets the crystal back and sells it to a nice little boy. I cannot wait...no, really.
Sunday, April 5, 2026
The Bikini Bandits Experience (2002)
Director Steven Grasse shoots this headache-inducing ode to 1970's B-movie drive-in trash. He should have watched some 1970's B-movie drive-in trash first.
Based on the internet series- reason enough to take pause- there is not a linear plotline, but the film kind of goes like this: four bikini clad criminals are sent to hell. There, the devil sends them back to defile the Virgin Mary. Next, they hide out in Amish country, and then time travel back to 1776. They finally hide out on a porn shoot, looking for an Amish mentally deficient boy, and are saved by Corey Feldman and a bunch of ninjas.
This is a merciful fifty-four minutes long. It should have been an insane take on the old grindhouse fare of the 1970's, but the film makers commit a horrible mistake. A cult film develops a cult following through word of mouth and an intrinsic quality found in the film itself. If you are setting out to specifically make a cult film, then you will try too hard and fail. That is exactly what happens here.
The film makers try everything: there are fake home shopping ads for G-Mart tossed in with bad edits, musical interludes, a hairy yoga guy, and lots of annoying animation and graphics. We are treated to real phone conversations between the producers and some obnoxious guy named Zembo who keeps getting beat up on camera when he bothers some people. Finally, Corey Feldman proves he was one of the most irritating film personalities of the early 2000's.
The only nudity on display here are guys' butts. The fearsome foursome go through this without taking off anything but their pride. "The Bikini Bandits Experience" is not trashy on a fun level. It is just trash. I had the same reaction to this as I did to "The Underground Comedy Movie," another "eagerly awaited" flick based on some fanboys' alone time activities- big deal. Avoid this at once.
Based on the internet series- reason enough to take pause- there is not a linear plotline, but the film kind of goes like this: four bikini clad criminals are sent to hell. There, the devil sends them back to defile the Virgin Mary. Next, they hide out in Amish country, and then time travel back to 1776. They finally hide out on a porn shoot, looking for an Amish mentally deficient boy, and are saved by Corey Feldman and a bunch of ninjas.
This is a merciful fifty-four minutes long. It should have been an insane take on the old grindhouse fare of the 1970's, but the film makers commit a horrible mistake. A cult film develops a cult following through word of mouth and an intrinsic quality found in the film itself. If you are setting out to specifically make a cult film, then you will try too hard and fail. That is exactly what happens here.
The film makers try everything: there are fake home shopping ads for G-Mart tossed in with bad edits, musical interludes, a hairy yoga guy, and lots of annoying animation and graphics. We are treated to real phone conversations between the producers and some obnoxious guy named Zembo who keeps getting beat up on camera when he bothers some people. Finally, Corey Feldman proves he was one of the most irritating film personalities of the early 2000's.
The only nudity on display here are guys' butts. The fearsome foursome go through this without taking off anything but their pride. "The Bikini Bandits Experience" is not trashy on a fun level. It is just trash. I had the same reaction to this as I did to "The Underground Comedy Movie," another "eagerly awaited" flick based on some fanboys' alone time activities- big deal. Avoid this at once.
Saturday, April 4, 2026
The Bigamist (1953)
Did you hear the one about the traveling salesman? "The Bigamist" is an overwrought melodrama suffering from a seventy-nine minute identity crisis.
The charisma-challenged Harry (Edmond O'Brien) is a San Francisco-based traveling salesman married to Eve (Joan Fontaine). Eve and Harry are looking to adopt a child, and are assigned to caseworker Mr. Jordan (Edmund Gwenn). Jordan notices Harry's terminally constipated expression every time the term "thorough investigation" is used, and goes to Los Angeles to find some of Harry's clients. He also finds Harry, living in a modest home with his other wife Phyllis (the film's director, Ida Lupino) and their infant son. With halting narration, Harry tells Jordan, and us, how he became involved with Phyllis, and his inability to break things off with Eve, whose heart attack stricken father has horrible timing. Dad seems to take ill or die every time Harry wants to "talk." Jordan doesn't know what to do with Harry, as both wives learn of each other's existence.
A woman directing a motion picture in the 1950's was unheard of, but instead of admiring Lupino's ground-breaking spirit, I was disappointed with her choice of material. "The Bigamist" is a film noir/soap opera/black comedy that does not work in any of those genres. With all the cigarettes, booze, shadows, neon, coffee, and terms like "big lug" tossed around, I half-heartedly waited for Harry to spill his secret to Jordan, slip him a mickey, plug him full of slugs, then dump his bones in Encino and carry on with both dames, see? The noir elements are heavy here, except for the plot and actresses.
Joan Fontaine is Eve- EVE, get it? The first wife who we should be rooting for. Unfortunately, Eve is a moron of the highest order, not noticing Harry's almost convulsive behavior whenever she comes close to the truth. It doesn't help that Fontaine's constant facial expression is the same as someone who has just stepped in dog mess at the park. Lupino's Phyllis is such a bitter pill in her opening scenes, it is hard to see what Harry sees in her.
Despite being in almost every scene, O'Brien is only fourth billed. If the screenwriter was going for the soap opera, they should have centered the story around one or both sympathetic women, not the sweaty schlub in the middle. I tried to accept the film as comedy. The hand wringing, the heavy narration, the discussion about chop suey not being a Chinese dish- there is plenty to giggle at, but was it done all in jest? No, the film is so deathly serious it might eventually trigger chronic depression in the viewer.
Even the film's "light" moments are overdone. Jane Darwell's cleaning woman cameo is just plain weird. An inside joke about Gwenn's triumph in "Miracle on 34th Street" isn't dragged out once, but twice. He played Santa Claus, we get it, can we move on? Lupino the director does a plain job with the terrible script. She does nothing spectacular, in front of or behind the camera. The screeching musical score underlines every ham-fisted emotion threefold.
I wanted to appreciate "The Bigamist," but I wasn't sure what to appreciate about it. It's not the worst film ever made, but it does make for a slow seventy-nine minutes, camp value notwithstanding. Find "Micki & Maude" instead. At least that film wanted to be a comedy.
The charisma-challenged Harry (Edmond O'Brien) is a San Francisco-based traveling salesman married to Eve (Joan Fontaine). Eve and Harry are looking to adopt a child, and are assigned to caseworker Mr. Jordan (Edmund Gwenn). Jordan notices Harry's terminally constipated expression every time the term "thorough investigation" is used, and goes to Los Angeles to find some of Harry's clients. He also finds Harry, living in a modest home with his other wife Phyllis (the film's director, Ida Lupino) and their infant son. With halting narration, Harry tells Jordan, and us, how he became involved with Phyllis, and his inability to break things off with Eve, whose heart attack stricken father has horrible timing. Dad seems to take ill or die every time Harry wants to "talk." Jordan doesn't know what to do with Harry, as both wives learn of each other's existence.
A woman directing a motion picture in the 1950's was unheard of, but instead of admiring Lupino's ground-breaking spirit, I was disappointed with her choice of material. "The Bigamist" is a film noir/soap opera/black comedy that does not work in any of those genres. With all the cigarettes, booze, shadows, neon, coffee, and terms like "big lug" tossed around, I half-heartedly waited for Harry to spill his secret to Jordan, slip him a mickey, plug him full of slugs, then dump his bones in Encino and carry on with both dames, see? The noir elements are heavy here, except for the plot and actresses.
Joan Fontaine is Eve- EVE, get it? The first wife who we should be rooting for. Unfortunately, Eve is a moron of the highest order, not noticing Harry's almost convulsive behavior whenever she comes close to the truth. It doesn't help that Fontaine's constant facial expression is the same as someone who has just stepped in dog mess at the park. Lupino's Phyllis is such a bitter pill in her opening scenes, it is hard to see what Harry sees in her.
Despite being in almost every scene, O'Brien is only fourth billed. If the screenwriter was going for the soap opera, they should have centered the story around one or both sympathetic women, not the sweaty schlub in the middle. I tried to accept the film as comedy. The hand wringing, the heavy narration, the discussion about chop suey not being a Chinese dish- there is plenty to giggle at, but was it done all in jest? No, the film is so deathly serious it might eventually trigger chronic depression in the viewer.
Even the film's "light" moments are overdone. Jane Darwell's cleaning woman cameo is just plain weird. An inside joke about Gwenn's triumph in "Miracle on 34th Street" isn't dragged out once, but twice. He played Santa Claus, we get it, can we move on? Lupino the director does a plain job with the terrible script. She does nothing spectacular, in front of or behind the camera. The screeching musical score underlines every ham-fisted emotion threefold.
I wanted to appreciate "The Bigamist," but I wasn't sure what to appreciate about it. It's not the worst film ever made, but it does make for a slow seventy-nine minutes, camp value notwithstanding. Find "Micki & Maude" instead. At least that film wanted to be a comedy.
The Bible: In the Beginning (1966)
Having avoided this film for years, I finally took a deep breath and watched it. John Huston's version of the Bible is full of pretty pictures, Hollywood stars, and no heart.
At almost three hours, the film is divided into four major sections or stories. The first concerns the Creation, as Adam (Michael Parks) and Eve (Ulla Bergryd) are introduced into the Garden of Eden, eat from the Tree of Knowledge, and are banished. Later, their first two sons are involved in the very first murder. The Creation opening does have a lot of scenery, as the narrator takes us, slowly, through all the days God took to create the world. Adam and Eve are all wide-eyed wonderment, and strategically naked. The Garden of Eden, however, looks like your backyard after a hot day. There is fake greenery here and there, but I kept waiting for Adam to invent the lawn sprinkler. The entire eating of the apple is glossed over as if Huston was in a hurry to get on with the film, or at least his turn as Noah. After Cain (Richard Harris) kills Abel (Franco Nero), Noah happens along and begins building the ark.
But wait, this is not your Noah of the Bible or epics past, this Noah is "funny." Huston mugs for the camera as if he were in a Pink Panther film. As Noah and his three sons build, there is an awkward scene where Noah falls, gets his foot stuck in a bucket of pitch, and slides down half the deck of the ark, hitting his sleeping son in the head with the bucket. The light musical score tells us that Noah is just a clumsy regular guy, but if God told me to build an ark because of the watery end of mankind, I would be a little more careful. No, Noah's three sons are not played by Moe, Larry, and Curly. Other "funny" scenes involve Noah's wife trying to feed some of the exotic animals in the ark and not doing very well. Why didn't the cast just wink at the camera and grin? Poor special effects also kill this section, as Huston tries to fool us with bad footage of animals getting on the ark.
The shortest scene in the film revolves around King Nimrod (Stephen Boyd) and the building of the Tower of Babel. This section is all too brief as Nimrod climbs the Tower, shoots an arrow into heaven, God becomes angry, knocks a few things down, and no one can understand their coworker's language any longer. Without any connection to the three longer stories, you will wonder what Huston was thinking, maybe he had a bigger budget than he thought.
The final, and longest, section involves George C. Scott as Abraham, and Ava Gardner, doing her best impression of Elizabeth Taylor in "Cleopatra," as Sarah. Abraham fathers a son with a slave after Sarah becomes barren. Angel(s) (Peter O'Toole) tells Abraham of Sarah's impending pregnancy, and then moves on to Sodom, ready to take the city down. This scene provides many creepy moments, as O'Toole is led by Lot (Gabriele Ferzetti) through the city of sin, which we see samples of in the dark. Lot and his family escape, Lot's wife (Eleonora Rossi Drago) becomes the world's largest salt lick, and Abraham is told to sacrifice his beloved son, Isaac. As Abraham and Isaac wander in the desert to the sacrificial altar, they pass through Sodom's ruins. Here, Scott is given a bunch of scenes they probably expected to replay when his Oscar nomination came through. Scott, always a fine actor, is awful, all groans and blank stares, as if he cannot get a handle on this character and director Huston will not help out. The film ends with Isaac's reprieve, and more pretty scenery.
I took me three days to watch this movie, and I congratulate anyone who sat through it in one sitting. The cinematography is lush and gorgeous. Every scene is like a painting, pardon the cliche. The biggest problem here is the complete lack of spirit in the film. Everyone goes through the motions, and yet there is no magic or excitement in the characters' eyes. The actors say all their "thou"s and "wherefore"s with appropriate nobility, but I never believed that they were awed by the Spirit of God.
I have seen more emotionally appropriate reactions to mistaken lunch orders at Burger King than Scott's over-the-top portrayal of Abraham. He groans, hisses, and acts his wig off, but that was all there was- an act. A young Peter O'Toole, with an angelic face, plays the three angels wonderfully. He was the only actor here who seemed to understand the importance of the work without resorting to theater tricks to make the audience happy. The script, by "Barabbas" screenwriter Christopher Fry, is all over the place. It is too bad he could not concentrate on one area or event. He spent too much energy cramming everything in, and overwhelming the film. I have seen better Sunday school pageants cover the same material more effectively.
At almost three hours, the film is divided into four major sections or stories. The first concerns the Creation, as Adam (Michael Parks) and Eve (Ulla Bergryd) are introduced into the Garden of Eden, eat from the Tree of Knowledge, and are banished. Later, their first two sons are involved in the very first murder. The Creation opening does have a lot of scenery, as the narrator takes us, slowly, through all the days God took to create the world. Adam and Eve are all wide-eyed wonderment, and strategically naked. The Garden of Eden, however, looks like your backyard after a hot day. There is fake greenery here and there, but I kept waiting for Adam to invent the lawn sprinkler. The entire eating of the apple is glossed over as if Huston was in a hurry to get on with the film, or at least his turn as Noah. After Cain (Richard Harris) kills Abel (Franco Nero), Noah happens along and begins building the ark.
But wait, this is not your Noah of the Bible or epics past, this Noah is "funny." Huston mugs for the camera as if he were in a Pink Panther film. As Noah and his three sons build, there is an awkward scene where Noah falls, gets his foot stuck in a bucket of pitch, and slides down half the deck of the ark, hitting his sleeping son in the head with the bucket. The light musical score tells us that Noah is just a clumsy regular guy, but if God told me to build an ark because of the watery end of mankind, I would be a little more careful. No, Noah's three sons are not played by Moe, Larry, and Curly. Other "funny" scenes involve Noah's wife trying to feed some of the exotic animals in the ark and not doing very well. Why didn't the cast just wink at the camera and grin? Poor special effects also kill this section, as Huston tries to fool us with bad footage of animals getting on the ark.
The shortest scene in the film revolves around King Nimrod (Stephen Boyd) and the building of the Tower of Babel. This section is all too brief as Nimrod climbs the Tower, shoots an arrow into heaven, God becomes angry, knocks a few things down, and no one can understand their coworker's language any longer. Without any connection to the three longer stories, you will wonder what Huston was thinking, maybe he had a bigger budget than he thought.
The final, and longest, section involves George C. Scott as Abraham, and Ava Gardner, doing her best impression of Elizabeth Taylor in "Cleopatra," as Sarah. Abraham fathers a son with a slave after Sarah becomes barren. Angel(s) (Peter O'Toole) tells Abraham of Sarah's impending pregnancy, and then moves on to Sodom, ready to take the city down. This scene provides many creepy moments, as O'Toole is led by Lot (Gabriele Ferzetti) through the city of sin, which we see samples of in the dark. Lot and his family escape, Lot's wife (Eleonora Rossi Drago) becomes the world's largest salt lick, and Abraham is told to sacrifice his beloved son, Isaac. As Abraham and Isaac wander in the desert to the sacrificial altar, they pass through Sodom's ruins. Here, Scott is given a bunch of scenes they probably expected to replay when his Oscar nomination came through. Scott, always a fine actor, is awful, all groans and blank stares, as if he cannot get a handle on this character and director Huston will not help out. The film ends with Isaac's reprieve, and more pretty scenery.
I took me three days to watch this movie, and I congratulate anyone who sat through it in one sitting. The cinematography is lush and gorgeous. Every scene is like a painting, pardon the cliche. The biggest problem here is the complete lack of spirit in the film. Everyone goes through the motions, and yet there is no magic or excitement in the characters' eyes. The actors say all their "thou"s and "wherefore"s with appropriate nobility, but I never believed that they were awed by the Spirit of God.
I have seen more emotionally appropriate reactions to mistaken lunch orders at Burger King than Scott's over-the-top portrayal of Abraham. He groans, hisses, and acts his wig off, but that was all there was- an act. A young Peter O'Toole, with an angelic face, plays the three angels wonderfully. He was the only actor here who seemed to understand the importance of the work without resorting to theater tricks to make the audience happy. The script, by "Barabbas" screenwriter Christopher Fry, is all over the place. It is too bad he could not concentrate on one area or event. He spent too much energy cramming everything in, and overwhelming the film. I have seen better Sunday school pageants cover the same material more effectively.
Beverly Hills Cop III (1994)
Eddie Murphy comes back to the role that made him famous one time too many, giving us a mess of an action film.
Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) is back in Detroit, and about to bust an illegal chop shop. Little does he know the place has just been shot up by a bunch of machine gun-toting baddies headed by DeWald (Timothy Carhart). In the ensuing melee, Foley's beloved captain is killed, and Foley traces DeWald and the clues to the Disneyland-type Wonder World in California. Billy (Judge Reinhold) is still in Beverly Hills, and Jon (the funny Hector Elizondo) kind of replaces Billy's now retired partner Taggart from the first two films.
We then follow a pretty standard case as Foley uncovers a counterfeiting operation run by DeWald and Sanderson (John Saxon). Luckily, the love interest Janice (Theresa Randle) also works security at the park. We even find time to toss in Bronson Pinchot's return as Serge, who pops up very unlikely trying to sell a giant weapon. Foley keeps stepping on the toes of federal agent Fulbright (Stephen McHattie), who is trying to nail Sanderson and DeWald on his own. This leads to umpteen shootings and chases, and absolutely no laughs.
Murphy should have quit while he was ahead. "Beverly Hills Cop III" is even worse than Part II, which was pretty lousy to begin with. Director Landis never finds any kind of pacing, as the acting company moves from one shootout to the next. Hey, John, stop putting famous directors in cameos in your films, there is a reason some of them belong behind the camera. They are directors, not actors.
Since Axel Foley is not really a character, Murphy could be acting in "48 HRS III," but without Nick Nolte. He grins and makes one liners through everything, but the big counterfeiting case is so boring you will not care if Foley gets the bad guys in the end- and is there any doubt about that happening?
Harold Faltermeyer's relic theme from the 1980's is played again and again as Murphy and Reinhold try to find the old magic that is not there. The script contains way too many chances for Murphy to improvise something funny, but Murphy drops the ball. Elizondo is the only one who makes any jokes funny. The villains are unmemorable, I had to take notes to tell them apart. While the film makers could have stuck it to big corporate amusement parks like Disney World, they took the safe way out. "Beverly Hills Cop III" was released to no box office in 1994.
Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) is back in Detroit, and about to bust an illegal chop shop. Little does he know the place has just been shot up by a bunch of machine gun-toting baddies headed by DeWald (Timothy Carhart). In the ensuing melee, Foley's beloved captain is killed, and Foley traces DeWald and the clues to the Disneyland-type Wonder World in California. Billy (Judge Reinhold) is still in Beverly Hills, and Jon (the funny Hector Elizondo) kind of replaces Billy's now retired partner Taggart from the first two films.
We then follow a pretty standard case as Foley uncovers a counterfeiting operation run by DeWald and Sanderson (John Saxon). Luckily, the love interest Janice (Theresa Randle) also works security at the park. We even find time to toss in Bronson Pinchot's return as Serge, who pops up very unlikely trying to sell a giant weapon. Foley keeps stepping on the toes of federal agent Fulbright (Stephen McHattie), who is trying to nail Sanderson and DeWald on his own. This leads to umpteen shootings and chases, and absolutely no laughs.
Murphy should have quit while he was ahead. "Beverly Hills Cop III" is even worse than Part II, which was pretty lousy to begin with. Director Landis never finds any kind of pacing, as the acting company moves from one shootout to the next. Hey, John, stop putting famous directors in cameos in your films, there is a reason some of them belong behind the camera. They are directors, not actors.
Since Axel Foley is not really a character, Murphy could be acting in "48 HRS III," but without Nick Nolte. He grins and makes one liners through everything, but the big counterfeiting case is so boring you will not care if Foley gets the bad guys in the end- and is there any doubt about that happening?
Harold Faltermeyer's relic theme from the 1980's is played again and again as Murphy and Reinhold try to find the old magic that is not there. The script contains way too many chances for Murphy to improvise something funny, but Murphy drops the ball. Elizondo is the only one who makes any jokes funny. The villains are unmemorable, I had to take notes to tell them apart. While the film makers could have stuck it to big corporate amusement parks like Disney World, they took the safe way out. "Beverly Hills Cop III" was released to no box office in 1994.
Bent (1997)
Martin Sherman's play about German homosexuals during World War II makes a shaky transition to the screen.
Max (Clive Owen) lives with dancer Rudy (Brian Webber), and has a debaucherous old time at a "club" run by drag queen Greta (Mick Jagger). He lives a selfish life, broke, and does not treat Rudy that well. He brings home a military man as a lover, and the Nazis raid, killing the soldier and driving Rudy and Max into the woods. The couple is captured while trying to make plans to escape to Amsterdam. They are thrown on a boxcar headed for Dachau, and there Max makes a fateful decision to stay alive at all costs, using advice received from Horst (Lothaire Bluteau), who is wearing a pink triangle, signifying a homosexual.
Max has conned his way into a yellow triangle, signifying himself as Jewish. At the concentration camp, Max is always looking to make a deal, and gets Horst moved to Max's work detail. The two begin arguing as Horst realizes Max's work detail is an exercise in futility used to drive an inmate mad. The two cannot touch each other, get three minute breaks every two hours (when they must stand at attention for all three minutes), and work twelve hours straight moving rocks from one pile to another, and then back again.
Horst is angry that Max denies being a homosexual, even though the pink triangles are the lowest form of life in the concentration camp inmate hierarchy. The two men slowly become friends, then lovers, but not in the conventional sense. Because they live apart, and cannot touch, they make love while standing next to each other, using their voices and imaginations.
Martin Sherman wrote a difficult screenplay to watch, crowding his most shocking scenes in the opening third of the film. By the time we are taken to Dachau, and the monotonous rock moving begins, the viewer's monotony sets in. Was this the intent of the film makers? After so much sex and violence, the camp scenes seem almost mild by comparison.
Sean Mathias' direction works all the way through. He was hampered with a small budget -filmed on location in England and it certainly looks like it, but his camerawork captures enough of the pain after the brief highs of Max's existence in the beginning of the film. Owen and Bluteau are excellent, as Max tries to reject Horst's eventual confessions of love, and sadly forgetting the name of Rudy. Jagger and Ian McKellen have good cameos, and Jude Law can be spotted in a two line early role.
Philip Glass' musical score sounds exactly like his others, and I think it was used almost note for note, and to better effect, in "The Hours." The locations do not convince. My main problem was with Sherman's screenplay. While the actors carry most of the middle and end of the film on their own, I hate to admit I was often bored. "Bent" was also rated NC-17, an overreaction to an orgy scene at Greta's. I have seen worse on cable television, and this is just one more ratings mistake the MPAA made.
"Bent" is a good film, but it cannot keep up the pain and terror of the first third, with a screenplay that lets the two main actors down. Emotional ending, but all in all a disappointment.
Max (Clive Owen) lives with dancer Rudy (Brian Webber), and has a debaucherous old time at a "club" run by drag queen Greta (Mick Jagger). He lives a selfish life, broke, and does not treat Rudy that well. He brings home a military man as a lover, and the Nazis raid, killing the soldier and driving Rudy and Max into the woods. The couple is captured while trying to make plans to escape to Amsterdam. They are thrown on a boxcar headed for Dachau, and there Max makes a fateful decision to stay alive at all costs, using advice received from Horst (Lothaire Bluteau), who is wearing a pink triangle, signifying a homosexual.
Max has conned his way into a yellow triangle, signifying himself as Jewish. At the concentration camp, Max is always looking to make a deal, and gets Horst moved to Max's work detail. The two begin arguing as Horst realizes Max's work detail is an exercise in futility used to drive an inmate mad. The two cannot touch each other, get three minute breaks every two hours (when they must stand at attention for all three minutes), and work twelve hours straight moving rocks from one pile to another, and then back again.
Horst is angry that Max denies being a homosexual, even though the pink triangles are the lowest form of life in the concentration camp inmate hierarchy. The two men slowly become friends, then lovers, but not in the conventional sense. Because they live apart, and cannot touch, they make love while standing next to each other, using their voices and imaginations.
Martin Sherman wrote a difficult screenplay to watch, crowding his most shocking scenes in the opening third of the film. By the time we are taken to Dachau, and the monotonous rock moving begins, the viewer's monotony sets in. Was this the intent of the film makers? After so much sex and violence, the camp scenes seem almost mild by comparison.
Sean Mathias' direction works all the way through. He was hampered with a small budget -filmed on location in England and it certainly looks like it, but his camerawork captures enough of the pain after the brief highs of Max's existence in the beginning of the film. Owen and Bluteau are excellent, as Max tries to reject Horst's eventual confessions of love, and sadly forgetting the name of Rudy. Jagger and Ian McKellen have good cameos, and Jude Law can be spotted in a two line early role.
Philip Glass' musical score sounds exactly like his others, and I think it was used almost note for note, and to better effect, in "The Hours." The locations do not convince. My main problem was with Sherman's screenplay. While the actors carry most of the middle and end of the film on their own, I hate to admit I was often bored. "Bent" was also rated NC-17, an overreaction to an orgy scene at Greta's. I have seen worse on cable television, and this is just one more ratings mistake the MPAA made.
"Bent" is a good film, but it cannot keep up the pain and terror of the first third, with a screenplay that lets the two main actors down. Emotional ending, but all in all a disappointment.
Beneath Loch Ness (2001)
A famed scientist is lost in a dive in Loch Ness when an earthquake opens up a huge crack in the bottom of the infamous lake.
His protege, Case (Brian Wimmer), is called to Loch Ness to complete the mentor's research and deliver a television special to the Expedition Channel and his ex-wife/TV producer Elizabeth (Lysette Anthony). A few pranksters at the lake decide to put a fake monster in the water and videotape it for their website. A real monster happens along and kills one of the crew. (*Copy and paste the plot of "Jaws" here, or keep reading the review*) The local constable refuses to close the lake since it is tourist season. Case and his crew try to sit on the monster story until they have more evidence. Cue Blay (Patrick Bergin, playing Robert Shaw's role). He lost a child to the monster years ago, and now hangs around drinking and planning to get the monster himself. Fishermen and Druids get attacked by the special effect, and the constable still won't close the beaches, er, lake. A smaller creature washes ashore, and everyone but our heroic scientists assume this is the monster. In all actuality, the earthquake let an even larger predator into the lake, and Blay and Case find themselves underwater, armed with explosives, and running out of oxygen in the film's bored finale.
DVD was a wonderful technology. You can see crystal clear pictures. You can also spot a pixelated computer generated special effect a mile away. The monster itself is not all that bad, looking like a dragon. However, Comisky insists on computer generating shots that should have been done on location for that extra buck or two. There are terrible shots of a night time fireworks display, and even Elizabeth matted into a train station sequence. These are really weak and induced laughter.
The cast is nothing special. Case is unshaven and heroic, and Wimmer sounds exactly like Kevin Costner. Elizabeth quickly becomes a pain, and the constable mostly stands around and refuses the requests of these idiot scientists- watching him reminded me of trying to get my two year old to eat peas. Case's crack crew of divers are nobodies, and the film is not violent, or gory, or scary. Patrick Bergin, who deserved a better career than this, does his best with a clicheed role. Unfortunately, the film makers try to make him "funny" and give him "Braveheart"-type war paint in his final scenes, negating any seriousness he may have brought to this slight film.
Despite a couple of good special effects, "Beneath Loch Ness" is beneath most viewers.
His protege, Case (Brian Wimmer), is called to Loch Ness to complete the mentor's research and deliver a television special to the Expedition Channel and his ex-wife/TV producer Elizabeth (Lysette Anthony). A few pranksters at the lake decide to put a fake monster in the water and videotape it for their website. A real monster happens along and kills one of the crew. (*Copy and paste the plot of "Jaws" here, or keep reading the review*) The local constable refuses to close the lake since it is tourist season. Case and his crew try to sit on the monster story until they have more evidence. Cue Blay (Patrick Bergin, playing Robert Shaw's role). He lost a child to the monster years ago, and now hangs around drinking and planning to get the monster himself. Fishermen and Druids get attacked by the special effect, and the constable still won't close the beaches, er, lake. A smaller creature washes ashore, and everyone but our heroic scientists assume this is the monster. In all actuality, the earthquake let an even larger predator into the lake, and Blay and Case find themselves underwater, armed with explosives, and running out of oxygen in the film's bored finale.
DVD was a wonderful technology. You can see crystal clear pictures. You can also spot a pixelated computer generated special effect a mile away. The monster itself is not all that bad, looking like a dragon. However, Comisky insists on computer generating shots that should have been done on location for that extra buck or two. There are terrible shots of a night time fireworks display, and even Elizabeth matted into a train station sequence. These are really weak and induced laughter.
The cast is nothing special. Case is unshaven and heroic, and Wimmer sounds exactly like Kevin Costner. Elizabeth quickly becomes a pain, and the constable mostly stands around and refuses the requests of these idiot scientists- watching him reminded me of trying to get my two year old to eat peas. Case's crack crew of divers are nobodies, and the film is not violent, or gory, or scary. Patrick Bergin, who deserved a better career than this, does his best with a clicheed role. Unfortunately, the film makers try to make him "funny" and give him "Braveheart"-type war paint in his final scenes, negating any seriousness he may have brought to this slight film.
Despite a couple of good special effects, "Beneath Loch Ness" is beneath most viewers.
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