Jeremy Brett is Sheridan Owen, a pompous British novelist who leads a comfortable life with wife Alex (Natasha Parry). Sheridan has just written a horror novel titled "The Ferryman," where the main character is a horrible villain who would assault and drown young women, before being drowned himself and buried.
Sheridan is enjoying both the success of the book, as well as the dumb questions from reporters and weird customers at book signings. Sheridan and Alex take a drive in the country, and get caught in a storm. Their car's windshield wipers break, and they take refuge in an inn called The Ferryman's Rest. The similarity to Sheridan's novel's inn is noted, but the staff also have similar names to his characters' names. The inn's owner, Miles Attingham (Geoffrey Chater), greets Sheridan, who notices his Miles and the real Miles have the same characteristics. As Alex tries to explain everything away as coincidence, a character is introduced at the inn who ends up murdered by the Ferryman in Sheridan's novel. Sheridan is determined to protect them from the Ferryman, whose arrival is only a matter of time.
This is an episode of a British television series in the '80's titled "Haunted," so the running time is only fifty minutes. Director Irvin has enjoyed some success on the big screen, and his eye here is good, too. There is a great sense of menace throughout the film that works without resulting to gore or silly jump shots, save one good one involving a hen. The Ferryman himself is a creepy concoction, with weird makeup and a giant rowing staff. An American production would turn him into a fiendish serial killer right away, but Irvin plays the film for suspense, not gore.
Brett is great as the stuffy horror writer who does not believe in ghosts. His careful analysis of his situation is fun to watch. The supporting cast all do well in small roles. Irvin does mess up the day-for-night shots, however. One sequence has Owen wondering around the inn's grounds at midnight, but the lighting is obviously daylight. Also, in their quest to be extra creepy, the ending is rather muddled. We get to know the inn's characters through Owen's book, but it is not clear how his book ends, or if what happens to him in real life also occurred in the book. Julian Bond's script is confused, and I am not sure if this was the intent of Kingsley Amis' original story.
All in all, "Haunted: The Ferryman" is a good suspenser that delivers chills the old fashioned way- by not getting smug and talking down to the audience. While the ending leaves something to be desired, I do recommend it.
Wednesday, April 8, 2026
The Hanged Man (1974)
Steve Forrest takes a stab at a western television series with this lightweight 1974 pilot film. Thankfully, the proposed series wasn't picked up, and the next year he went on to do "S.W.A.T."
Gunfighter James Devlin (Steve Forrest) is about to be hanged. The crime he is being executed for is a bit murky, but his lawyer (Dean Jagger) thinks it was committed in self-defense. The small town goes about building the gallows, and Devlin meets with his girlfriend Soledad (Barbara Luna), and a young priest, Father Alvaro (Rafael Campos). During the talk with Alvaro, we find that Devlin ain't exactly a churchgoer. He plays with a deck of tarot cards as the wide-eyed Alvaro tries his best to change the hardened criminal. Also in the small town, widow Carrie (Sharon Acker) and son Benjamin (Bobby Eilbacher) visit a loved one's grave. Carrie's husband died in an odd "accident," and the mother and son leave before the execution to get back to her failing mine in the middle of the desert.
On the big day, Devlin goes to the gallows, has a hood placed over his head (the last thing he sees is the cross on a church), and is hanged, except Devlin ain't dead. While laying in the chapel, he comes back to life, much to the shock of Soledad and Alvaro. The drunken doctor already signed off on the death certificate, and so Devlin is nursed back to health and released, since the execution was legally carried out. Devlin leaves town after Soledad rejects him, he has a huge neck scar and is frigid to the touch, and he wanders onto Carrie's land, meeting Benjamin and the family's quirky hired help Nameless (Will Geer). You see the rest of the plot coming down the street where you live as Devlin and his new-found conscience help the widow fight off the tough tactics of local silver mine baron Halleck (Cameron Mitchell), before a wonderfully shot climactic gunfight settles the story once and for all.
As I said, this is a television series pilot, and only runs a little over seventy minutes. Director Caffey goes through the motions until the finale, when it seems he was finally given permission to cut loose and deliver some great scenes from inside a hellish mine. Screenwriter Trevey keeps his story open-ended in order to satisfy network bosses, but also never explores Devlin's new lease on life. Once in a while, Devlin will "sense" danger before it happens, and he may be able to read (some) minds, but none of this is pursued. The cast of veterans is fine, with Forrest doing a charismatic job in the lead role. You can tell where the series would have gone as Devlin travels from one situation to another while being pursued by a lawman, and it would have been ripe with guest stars. Instead, we get a very mechanized, run-of-the-mill piece of mild western film making, safe for all viewers.
Thanks to public domain, "The Hanged Man" can be found very cheaply where all semi-fine DVDs and videocassettes are sold. It's not bad, and it's not memorable, it simply exists.
Gunfighter James Devlin (Steve Forrest) is about to be hanged. The crime he is being executed for is a bit murky, but his lawyer (Dean Jagger) thinks it was committed in self-defense. The small town goes about building the gallows, and Devlin meets with his girlfriend Soledad (Barbara Luna), and a young priest, Father Alvaro (Rafael Campos). During the talk with Alvaro, we find that Devlin ain't exactly a churchgoer. He plays with a deck of tarot cards as the wide-eyed Alvaro tries his best to change the hardened criminal. Also in the small town, widow Carrie (Sharon Acker) and son Benjamin (Bobby Eilbacher) visit a loved one's grave. Carrie's husband died in an odd "accident," and the mother and son leave before the execution to get back to her failing mine in the middle of the desert.
On the big day, Devlin goes to the gallows, has a hood placed over his head (the last thing he sees is the cross on a church), and is hanged, except Devlin ain't dead. While laying in the chapel, he comes back to life, much to the shock of Soledad and Alvaro. The drunken doctor already signed off on the death certificate, and so Devlin is nursed back to health and released, since the execution was legally carried out. Devlin leaves town after Soledad rejects him, he has a huge neck scar and is frigid to the touch, and he wanders onto Carrie's land, meeting Benjamin and the family's quirky hired help Nameless (Will Geer). You see the rest of the plot coming down the street where you live as Devlin and his new-found conscience help the widow fight off the tough tactics of local silver mine baron Halleck (Cameron Mitchell), before a wonderfully shot climactic gunfight settles the story once and for all.
As I said, this is a television series pilot, and only runs a little over seventy minutes. Director Caffey goes through the motions until the finale, when it seems he was finally given permission to cut loose and deliver some great scenes from inside a hellish mine. Screenwriter Trevey keeps his story open-ended in order to satisfy network bosses, but also never explores Devlin's new lease on life. Once in a while, Devlin will "sense" danger before it happens, and he may be able to read (some) minds, but none of this is pursued. The cast of veterans is fine, with Forrest doing a charismatic job in the lead role. You can tell where the series would have gone as Devlin travels from one situation to another while being pursued by a lawman, and it would have been ripe with guest stars. Instead, we get a very mechanized, run-of-the-mill piece of mild western film making, safe for all viewers.
Thanks to public domain, "The Hanged Man" can be found very cheaply where all semi-fine DVDs and videocassettes are sold. It's not bad, and it's not memorable, it simply exists.
Hellbound (1994)
Tons of spoilers ahead. Chuck Norris decided to put one final nail in the coffin containing his film career before going to the safe world of CBS Saturday night carnage with this hysterically bad supernatural actioner. For such a dumb movie this thing sure is plotty. Norris is Chicago cop Frank Shatter. He and his partner, Calvin (Calvin Levels), do the same old buddy cop routine you have seen before: make funny with the pimps, and make their captain mad. Jackson quickly wears on the nerves with his constant complaining and Eddie Murphy-patented facial expressions. Shatter and Levels become involved with an emissary of Satan, whom we are introduced to in the too-long opening scenes. Prosatano is a demon who is locked in a crypt by King Richard the Lionhearted. The demon's scepter, from which he gets his power, is busted into nine pieces and hid in nine different parts of the world by holy men. In 1951, some grave robbers accidentally let Prosatano out and he begins collecting the nine pieces. He disguises himself as an antiquities professor named Lockley (Christopher Neame) and always happens to be giving a lecture where a holy man is killed and a piece of the scepter is taken. Norris brings in his TV cohort Sheree Wilson, who plays Lockley's assistant Leslie. She helps Frank with his investigation, they make goo-goo eyes at each other, and our intrepid investigators travel to Israel after a rabbi is killed in Chicago. While in Israel, Calvin is given even more to complain about: the heat, the lack of restaurant accommodations, the lousy drivers, and the fact that he is missing the Chicago Bulls playoff games. Norris even manages to work a cute Israeli kid into this nightmare. Bezi (Erez Atar) steals Calvin's wallet, and hangs around the men, leading them around Israel. Eventually, Lockley/Prosatano assembles all of the scepter pieces, but needs the blood of royalty to complete the ceremony and call up the devil. Where to find royal blood? Well, Leslie's father is a duke! She has an American accent but she is the screenwriters' convenient method of forcing this monstrosity toward its inevitable conclusion. Sure, this minion of Satan may have killed countless hundreds over the years, but how is he gonna do against a good old fashioned Murican butt kickin'? After Prosatano has been vanquished, killed by his own scepter (I envied him, he did not have to watch Bezi steal Calvin's wallet again), we are treated to an awful coda involving a bearded man who has been watching Shatter and Calvin on their quest. You see, it was foretold...somewhere...that two warriors from the west would defeat Prosatano. The silent bearded man who watched over the couple was none other than Jesus...I kid you not. He is listed as "Prophet" in the end credits, but you and even your pets will recognize the subtle Christian reference the film makers are trying to exhibit here.
Like in "Walker: Texas Ranger," Norris is aging and cannot get into his fight scenes too much anymore. He kicks a lot, and people fly over furniture in slow motion, and then Norris gives all of his line readings in that monotone voice of his. Oh, what a real director might be able to fashion out of him! His brother, Aaron, who has directed him in other films as well, has no sense of story or momentum. Scenes are thrown in for ego's sake, not to entertain. The scenes when the dynamic duo first meet Bezi drag on and on, and then Bezi is not all that important to the rest of the film. The film was shot on location in Israel, which means the Americans could insult the Israelis in person. There is not one likable Israeli character here. The Israeli police captain is a jerk. The cops' driver does not know English, and Calvin convinces him that the word "sh!tty" is a compliment. Nothing funnier than mocking those "stupid foreigners" on their home turf, especially when all this racist humor is coming from an American minority who would have been more than offended if the tables were turned and the Israeli cop was mocking the African-American cop in Chicago. This film is badly written, badly acted, and badly directed. It does not work as action, cop drama, or horror. It just shows that the now defunct Cannon Studios was willing to throw their money into anything, no matter how badly it was planned. "Hellbound" is surely a most adequate title. I disliked this movie intensely.
Like in "Walker: Texas Ranger," Norris is aging and cannot get into his fight scenes too much anymore. He kicks a lot, and people fly over furniture in slow motion, and then Norris gives all of his line readings in that monotone voice of his. Oh, what a real director might be able to fashion out of him! His brother, Aaron, who has directed him in other films as well, has no sense of story or momentum. Scenes are thrown in for ego's sake, not to entertain. The scenes when the dynamic duo first meet Bezi drag on and on, and then Bezi is not all that important to the rest of the film. The film was shot on location in Israel, which means the Americans could insult the Israelis in person. There is not one likable Israeli character here. The Israeli police captain is a jerk. The cops' driver does not know English, and Calvin convinces him that the word "sh!tty" is a compliment. Nothing funnier than mocking those "stupid foreigners" on their home turf, especially when all this racist humor is coming from an American minority who would have been more than offended if the tables were turned and the Israeli cop was mocking the African-American cop in Chicago. This film is badly written, badly acted, and badly directed. It does not work as action, cop drama, or horror. It just shows that the now defunct Cannon Studios was willing to throw their money into anything, no matter how badly it was planned. "Hellbound" is surely a most adequate title. I disliked this movie intensely.
Hellbent (2004)
We've seen it before. A slasher film that opens on two horny young people getting it on in a parked car before a masked killer relieves them of their lives; for example, removing their heads with a giant scythe. This film marks the first time in horror film history where the two lovers are both men, and all the major characters in the film are homosexual. Our hero, Eddie (Dylan Fergus), can't join the local police force due to an eye injury, and must instead fix law enforcement computers while scoping out hot guys on "Wanted" bulletins. It is Halloween, and Eddie takes notice of bad boy Jake (Bryan Kirkwood) while handing out flyers about the two earlier killings. Eddie has quite the variety of friends, typical for your average slasher flick: nerdy Joey (Hank Harris), oversexed Chaz (Andrew Levitas), and handsome comic relief Tobey (Matt Phillips). The four friends are shadowed by the killer, a buff shirtless dude wearing a devil's mask, while hitting the bars and an L.A. Halloween carnival. If you have ever seen a slasher film before, then you have a pretty good idea where the plot is headed next.
This is a typical slasher film with a twist in the characters' sexuality, and therein lies the main flaw. Sure, the slasher ingredients like violence, gore, and sex are here, but the story is no different than any other slasher film to come out since "Halloween." I really liked the cast. While all these polar opposites just happening to be best friends is a reach, the group has a nice and believable chemistry together. The direction is active and thankfully not heavy-handed, and the use of the deep garish colors gives the film a different look. The script moves along quickly, one interesting aspect is the lack of motive and background on the killer's part. With all the "surprise" killer reveals in the "Scream" films, among others, the film makers wisely spent more running time on adding characterization to a sympathetic cast, so once the killings begin there is some emotion when someone gets dispatched. When you toss in Eddie's surprise medical affliction, and very realistic scenes when he and Jake begin to get close, you might believe that "Hellbent" could revive the slasher genre in the same way "Scream" did, but this is still a typical slasher film with the added twist of gay characters. "Hellbent" is not nearly the disaster I was expecting in the wake of contemporary fare like "Valentine," "Ax 'Em," and "Cutthroat Alley," among hundreds of other examples, but the film falls prey to the mechanics of the genre, making me care for a new type of character before killing them off in the same old way.
This is a typical slasher film with a twist in the characters' sexuality, and therein lies the main flaw. Sure, the slasher ingredients like violence, gore, and sex are here, but the story is no different than any other slasher film to come out since "Halloween." I really liked the cast. While all these polar opposites just happening to be best friends is a reach, the group has a nice and believable chemistry together. The direction is active and thankfully not heavy-handed, and the use of the deep garish colors gives the film a different look. The script moves along quickly, one interesting aspect is the lack of motive and background on the killer's part. With all the "surprise" killer reveals in the "Scream" films, among others, the film makers wisely spent more running time on adding characterization to a sympathetic cast, so once the killings begin there is some emotion when someone gets dispatched. When you toss in Eddie's surprise medical affliction, and very realistic scenes when he and Jake begin to get close, you might believe that "Hellbent" could revive the slasher genre in the same way "Scream" did, but this is still a typical slasher film with the added twist of gay characters. "Hellbent" is not nearly the disaster I was expecting in the wake of contemporary fare like "Valentine," "Ax 'Em," and "Cutthroat Alley," among hundreds of other examples, but the film falls prey to the mechanics of the genre, making me care for a new type of character before killing them off in the same old way.
Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)
Hedwig (John Cameron Mitchell) and his band, the Angry Inch, is touring America, shadowing the more successful tour of Tommy Gnosis (Michael Pitt). Gnosis plays arenas, Hedwig plays Bilgewater's chain restaurants. Gnosis stole Hedwig's songs years earlier, when they were a couple. Hedwig is the product of an American G.I. father and an East German mother. He grew up in East Berlin, in an apartment so small he had to play in the oven. He meets and falls in love with Luther (Maurice Dean Wint), but must pass a physical so he can go to America. Hedwig is castrated, leaving an angry inch of flesh. He goes to America, is dumped, and meets with Tommy, whom he immediately falls for. The two have a strange connection as Hedwig tries to get a music career off the ground. Tommy becomes more successful, and Hedwig sings his songs with a little more anger and swagger. He takes his frustrations out on his band, especially Yitzhak (Miriam Shor), eventually ending up alone. Then Tommy drives back into his life.
This was a successful stage play written by Mitchell, with incredible songs by Stephen Trask, who also stars as one of the band members. Mitchell turns in a perfect performance. This difficult part seems easy in his hands. His performances of the songs are astounding. This is not an actor going through karaoke motions, the songs are wonderful and so is he. Andrea Martin is also very good as Phyllis the agent, without overshadowing the production. Wint does a lot with a small role, Miriam Shor is very convincing as Yitzhak, the scene with Hedwig when Yitzhak wants to leave the band is a standout. Michael Pitt as Tommy looks about sixteen years old, but he plays his role to the hilt. John Cameron Mitchell also directed the film, and being so familiar with the characters helps immensely. The shots are imaginative without showing off, the musical numbers outshine anything on MTV back then, and the pace is snappy. "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" is an imaginative, touching, fun, heartbreaking, serious love story between a flawed man and his music.
This was a successful stage play written by Mitchell, with incredible songs by Stephen Trask, who also stars as one of the band members. Mitchell turns in a perfect performance. This difficult part seems easy in his hands. His performances of the songs are astounding. This is not an actor going through karaoke motions, the songs are wonderful and so is he. Andrea Martin is also very good as Phyllis the agent, without overshadowing the production. Wint does a lot with a small role, Miriam Shor is very convincing as Yitzhak, the scene with Hedwig when Yitzhak wants to leave the band is a standout. Michael Pitt as Tommy looks about sixteen years old, but he plays his role to the hilt. John Cameron Mitchell also directed the film, and being so familiar with the characters helps immensely. The shots are imaginative without showing off, the musical numbers outshine anything on MTV back then, and the pace is snappy. "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" is an imaginative, touching, fun, heartbreaking, serious love story between a flawed man and his music.
Heavy Times (2011)
At first glance, this story of three normal dudes trying to get through a raucous night out will bring back memories of "American Graffiti" and "The Hangover." Thanks to a great cast with impeccable comic timing, "Heavy Times" stands on its own. Youth basketball coach Hugh (Jason Brunner), sandwich board advertiser Dan (Brian D. Evans), and terrible used car salesman Mark (Adam Lauver) are best friends. They went to college, and are now stuck in dead end jobs and lives, like going to a sad little party and hoping that Dan's crush won't remember the night he threw up on her. The trio later head to Dan's sister's (Leah Garvin) house for supper, where they are subjected to the hideous Rick (Jeff Koen), Dan's brother-in-law. Rick is crude and disgusting, a combination of Zach Galifianakis and John Belushi. Dan and Mark hate him, but Hugh takes to him, bringing out some independence. The four go drinking at a bar, and then a blitzed Rick has a great idea- they should all head to Montreal where Rick thinks prostitution is legal. Hugh agrees, but the others are too timid to stand up to this force of nature. They stop off in a small town and check into a motel, where things go from bad to worse. Mark meets up with his own crazed blast from the past, his insane college roommate Gunther (Keaton Farmer), and Mark, Hugh, and Dan experience one of those life altering nights which only seems to happen in the movies.
Your enjoyment of this film might depend on how much you can take Rick. Koen overplays the part, but in a good way. We have all had this kind of obnoxious person in our lives, and the familiarity was both discomforting and hilarious. You cannot stand him, but you can see why Hugh is drawn out of his safety zone to him. Lauver, Evans, and Brunner make a great team. Their mumbling comments and reactions to their situations are spot-on and extremely funny. Just when you think Koen might steal the movie, Farmer comes in as Gunther and cranks the film up a notch further. Gunther lives in his sister's basement, still working on that album of his, and spouting mumbo-jumbo about life and death. The film is full of raunchy great moments and funny lines, from big jokes like Mark's hideous borrowed van to small lines like Hugh's email address. Having the trio meet just the two off-the-wall characters is perfect, as too many wacky nutjobs would only dilute who Rick and Gunther are. No one tries to upstage anyone in the "who's crazier?" department. The direction is off-kilter, appropriate for this type of blurry-eyed drunken flick even if a couple of scenes run long here and there. The musical score is full of good songs, and the sound quality is excellent. "Heavy Times" is a funny flick.
Your enjoyment of this film might depend on how much you can take Rick. Koen overplays the part, but in a good way. We have all had this kind of obnoxious person in our lives, and the familiarity was both discomforting and hilarious. You cannot stand him, but you can see why Hugh is drawn out of his safety zone to him. Lauver, Evans, and Brunner make a great team. Their mumbling comments and reactions to their situations are spot-on and extremely funny. Just when you think Koen might steal the movie, Farmer comes in as Gunther and cranks the film up a notch further. Gunther lives in his sister's basement, still working on that album of his, and spouting mumbo-jumbo about life and death. The film is full of raunchy great moments and funny lines, from big jokes like Mark's hideous borrowed van to small lines like Hugh's email address. Having the trio meet just the two off-the-wall characters is perfect, as too many wacky nutjobs would only dilute who Rick and Gunther are. No one tries to upstage anyone in the "who's crazier?" department. The direction is off-kilter, appropriate for this type of blurry-eyed drunken flick even if a couple of scenes run long here and there. The musical score is full of good songs, and the sound quality is excellent. "Heavy Times" is a funny flick.
Haunts (1976)
Ingrid (May Britt) is a lonely rural woman who lives on a farm and faithfully attends church. A masked killer is terrorizing the small town and there are plenty of suspects: town bad boy Frankie (William Gray Espy), Ingrid's mysterious Uncle Carl (Cameron Mitchell), and the new stranger guy in town. The sheriff (Aldo Ray) is perplexed. He finds out his daughter was knocked up by Frankie, plus he must deal with having two Barney Fife clones as deputies. Ingrid is also having many visions/hallucinations involving her mother, who killed herself after a tryst with a strange man. Ingrid, just five years old, walked in on them and mom fled into the bathroom. It is no mystery that the man in bed with mom was mom's brother, Uncle Carl. Ingrid is attacked by the masked killer but escapes. Later, the killer murders the local town lush and dumps her body in Ingrid's chicken coop. Ingrid is later assaulted by Frankie, and Uncle Carl almost walks in on them. Frankie threatens Ingrid if she talks, and the murders in town continue. Ingrid is a fixture at church, and is almost assaulted again after an attack in the cemetery. The killer is finally revealed.
This lacking thumbnail sketch might make this sound very suspenseful, almost Hitchcockian, but it is far from it. Britt tries, but she is failed by the script. Her Scandinavian accent is explained away as she spent time in "a European orphanage up the coast." Huh? Mitchell, who has never been good in anything, is not good here. The film makers give him the world's worst fake gray hair at the film's conclusion: the chalk white goop looks like it was applied with a trowel. The rest of the cast plays their routine small town characters without adding anything new. The biggest mistake here is the convoluted script. There are at least six different places toward the end of the movie where the final credits should have started rolling. Clocking in at 97 minutes, this is fifteen minutes too long. Poor Britt spends most of her screen time either taking off her clothes, careful not to show any nudity, or hysterically running away from real or imagined men. All the males come off as horny and stupid. Ingrid is the repressed frigid queen who fantasizes about being attacked and assaulted. She is religious, and Hollywood has been telling us for years how strange and sexually repressed churchgoers are. The script never takes any chances, beating the viewer over the head with heavy-handed images from Ingrid's psychotic mind. While there is some suspense here and there, for a horror film, there is not much. The possibilities here were endless, and the film makers did not take advantage of them. This should have been very suspenseful, considering the game cast, but everyone loses to a silly script and terribly low budget. "Haunts" does not haunt.
This lacking thumbnail sketch might make this sound very suspenseful, almost Hitchcockian, but it is far from it. Britt tries, but she is failed by the script. Her Scandinavian accent is explained away as she spent time in "a European orphanage up the coast." Huh? Mitchell, who has never been good in anything, is not good here. The film makers give him the world's worst fake gray hair at the film's conclusion: the chalk white goop looks like it was applied with a trowel. The rest of the cast plays their routine small town characters without adding anything new. The biggest mistake here is the convoluted script. There are at least six different places toward the end of the movie where the final credits should have started rolling. Clocking in at 97 minutes, this is fifteen minutes too long. Poor Britt spends most of her screen time either taking off her clothes, careful not to show any nudity, or hysterically running away from real or imagined men. All the males come off as horny and stupid. Ingrid is the repressed frigid queen who fantasizes about being attacked and assaulted. She is religious, and Hollywood has been telling us for years how strange and sexually repressed churchgoers are. The script never takes any chances, beating the viewer over the head with heavy-handed images from Ingrid's psychotic mind. While there is some suspense here and there, for a horror film, there is not much. The possibilities here were endless, and the film makers did not take advantage of them. This should have been very suspenseful, considering the game cast, but everyone loses to a silly script and terribly low budget. "Haunts" does not haunt.
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