In this dorky slasher hooey, half a dozen students must clean out an old college dormitory before it is demolished. One reviewer must clean out his eyes and ears before they are demolished by this film. All the stock characters are here: heroine Joanne (Laurie Lipinski), smart alec Craig (Stephen Sachs), hunk Brian (David Snow), insecure Patti (Pamela Holland), and red herring suspects Bobby Lee (Dennis Ely) and John Hemmit (Woody Roll). Debbie (Daphne Zuniga) and her parents are the first victims of the unseen killer. The killer then plays hide and seek, cat and mouse, etc., with the cast. One by one, they end up missing until the killer's identity is revealed in a stunning moment that will ring through the ages as a pinnacle point in the art of film- or you know whodunnit if you pay mild disinterested attention to the movie.
Obrow and Carpenter even go through the old device of having the killer explain their motives for the spree, as if anyone but the surviving cast member cared. The one plus I could find was the pretty good gore effects. The killings have a mean quality to them, from Debbie's death by being run over a few times, to the bloody climactic fight. Sex is kept to a minimum, we get to see a topless girlfriend of Bobby Lee's, but that's it. The film cannot even get exploitation elements down correctly. Another plus is that the killing does start almost immediately, as if the film makers were in a rush to grab the audience's attention. Holding the audience's attention should have been a concern. "The Dorm That Dripped Blood" is so typical, and so bad, it is no wonder the makers of the "Scream" and "Scary Movie" series had such an easy time skewering the genre.
Thursday, March 26, 2026
Dorian Blues (2005)
When it comes to gay and lesbian films, the genre is full of broad sub-genres. You have the serious AIDS-themed drama, the sexy dating comedy, the "risky" mainstream love story (I'm thinking of some lonely Wyoming cowboys), porn, and the coming-out/coming of age dramedy. "Dorian Blues" falls squarely into this final category. The good news is it's one of the best films of its kind. The film opens with a funeral. The viewer does not know whose funeral it is as narrator Dorian (Michael McMillian) takes us back to his senior year in high school growing up with a controlling dad (Steven C. Fletcher), a flighty mother (Mo Quigley), and overachieving year-younger brother Nicky (Lea Coco). Dorian is gay, knows it, but has not come out to his father. He does tell Nicky, then goes to a therapist who makes him role play the coming-out (with a dummy playing Dorian's dad). Dorian even tries religion, guilting himself straight. Nicky also tries "straightening" him out, getting him a hooker for the night in one of many great scenes. While the eventual coming-out goes as expected, things really change for Dorian when he hits college in New York City.
Tennyson Bardwell wrote and directed the film, doing both chores equally well. Even with a small cast and low budget, his direction is very imaginative, hitting all the right notes. I was thrilled that the humor was never over-the-top and the drama- many coming-out scenes rarely work- did not dissolve into pathos. The script might seem busy from a synopsis but Bardwell's pacing moves quickly without turning into a chaotic free-for-all. Taylor Morrison's photography is beautiful, giving the film a multi-million dollar look. Also crisp is Ann Marie Lizzi's editing- I cannot remember a bad shot or cut. The cast is flawless, another rarity for the small gay film. McMillian reminded me of Topher Grace in the role of Dorian. His delivery is natural and funny, with Bardwell's dialogue rolling effortlessly out of the cast's mouths. Thank God Nicky was not written as just another stupid jock. Coco turns in a great, likable performance, and he and McMillian seemed relaxed playing siblings. Kudos as well to Fletcher, who will remind you of your own dad, and Quigley, whose last scene really resonates. Sure, I hate the DVD cover art since the film makers never seemed to decide on a poster, and I had problems with the film's timeline, but those are slight complaints. "Dorian Blues" is one of the funniest films I have seen in a while, and the best coming of age story (gay or otherwise) to come along in ages. Everyone involved should be proud.
Tennyson Bardwell wrote and directed the film, doing both chores equally well. Even with a small cast and low budget, his direction is very imaginative, hitting all the right notes. I was thrilled that the humor was never over-the-top and the drama- many coming-out scenes rarely work- did not dissolve into pathos. The script might seem busy from a synopsis but Bardwell's pacing moves quickly without turning into a chaotic free-for-all. Taylor Morrison's photography is beautiful, giving the film a multi-million dollar look. Also crisp is Ann Marie Lizzi's editing- I cannot remember a bad shot or cut. The cast is flawless, another rarity for the small gay film. McMillian reminded me of Topher Grace in the role of Dorian. His delivery is natural and funny, with Bardwell's dialogue rolling effortlessly out of the cast's mouths. Thank God Nicky was not written as just another stupid jock. Coco turns in a great, likable performance, and he and McMillian seemed relaxed playing siblings. Kudos as well to Fletcher, who will remind you of your own dad, and Quigley, whose last scene really resonates. Sure, I hate the DVD cover art since the film makers never seemed to decide on a poster, and I had problems with the film's timeline, but those are slight complaints. "Dorian Blues" is one of the funniest films I have seen in a while, and the best coming of age story (gay or otherwise) to come along in ages. Everyone involved should be proud.
Dominique (1979)
Scanning the combined talents of director Michael Anderson and an Academy Award familiar cast, you would think "Dominique" (AKA "Dominique is Dead") would end up being a little more entertaining and a little less predictable. David (Cliff Robertson) and his wife Dominique (Jean Simmons) reside in a giant English mansion rife with tension. Dominique has trouble getting around thanks to an "accidental fall" down the stairs, and her memory seems to be lapsing as well. She fires her chauffeur, and steals a friend's broach, but does not recall the events. She and her stock broker husband have separate bedrooms, and after Dominique sees a hanging corpse that conveniently disappears, she is certain her husband is trying to drive her insane. A new chauffeur, Tony (Simon Ward), is hired, and out of desperation Dominique goes to him for help. New to the job, Tony rebuffs Dominique, and she promptly hangs herself in the conservatory. The funeral is a sad affair, and Dominique's last wishes are to be buried with a favorite bracelet and then have her last will and testament read on her wedding anniversary, which happens to fall on Halloween. David doesn't seem too broken up about Dominique's death. Before her body is even cold, however, he starts hearing Dominique's piano playing itself. A mysterious woman dressed in black orders tombstones for David and Dominique's grave, with a cryptic "SOON" written where David's death date would be carved. David sees a woman who looks like Dominique from his office window, and eventually bribes Tony to dig up Dominique's grave. What he finds sheds little light on the mystery.
I read that this film was taken from Anderson and edited without his approval. If this is true, it would explain some of the flaws. For a horror film, there is not much here to horrify. An occasional jump-scare moment and good sound effects editing are all we get. Most of the suspense consists of a cast member seeing something otherworldly, turning away or running for help, and then returning and not able to find the original apparition. This happens constantly and makes up the bulk of the film. It was unfortunate that Ward and Agutter, as David's half-sister, were cast in this. Two name actors in seemingly innocuous supporting roles only raise the viewer's suspicion that there is more to their characters. The screenplay, based on a short story, is padded and predictable. We have two different trips to the cemetery to see Allen's vandalized headstone. We get more than one scene of Allen "seeing" Dominique out his window. Two different "dig the casket up" scenes. The viewer will experience deja vu about situations that occurred minutes before. Anderson's direction is rather dry, save an occasional tracking shot. The performances are good across the board, although someone should have told Robertson that his moustache, hat, and trench coat in the cemetery scenes make him look like Inspector Clouseau. Moody is wasted as the doctor. "Dominique is Dead" is in the public domain, meaning there are plenty of lousy-quality copies out there for you to choose from. Then again, all the restoration and commentary in the world couldn't help, unless Anderson has a director's cut stashed somewhere.
I read that this film was taken from Anderson and edited without his approval. If this is true, it would explain some of the flaws. For a horror film, there is not much here to horrify. An occasional jump-scare moment and good sound effects editing are all we get. Most of the suspense consists of a cast member seeing something otherworldly, turning away or running for help, and then returning and not able to find the original apparition. This happens constantly and makes up the bulk of the film. It was unfortunate that Ward and Agutter, as David's half-sister, were cast in this. Two name actors in seemingly innocuous supporting roles only raise the viewer's suspicion that there is more to their characters. The screenplay, based on a short story, is padded and predictable. We have two different trips to the cemetery to see Allen's vandalized headstone. We get more than one scene of Allen "seeing" Dominique out his window. Two different "dig the casket up" scenes. The viewer will experience deja vu about situations that occurred minutes before. Anderson's direction is rather dry, save an occasional tracking shot. The performances are good across the board, although someone should have told Robertson that his moustache, hat, and trench coat in the cemetery scenes make him look like Inspector Clouseau. Moody is wasted as the doctor. "Dominique is Dead" is in the public domain, meaning there are plenty of lousy-quality copies out there for you to choose from. Then again, all the restoration and commentary in the world couldn't help, unless Anderson has a director's cut stashed somewhere.
Dolores Claiborne (1995)
Stephen King's change of pace novel was brought triumphantly to the screen and fizzled at the box office and award shows. Now is the time to rediscover one of the best films of the 1990's. Kathy Bates is the title character, who is under suspicion after her battleaxe employer is found at the bottom of a staircase with Bates holding a marble rolling pin over her head. Cue angry pill-popping alcoholic New York City reporter daughter Selena (Jennifer Jason Leigh) who is called home to Dolores' aid. Dolores is the town weirdo, and Detective Mackey (Christopher Plummer) wants to put her away for good, considering her first escape from a murder charge. Almost twenty years before, Dolores was implicated but not prosecuted in her abusive husband Joe's (David Strathairn) death. The film then takes two courses: a modern day mystery, as Dolores' relationship with her employer reveals the death not to be cut and dried; and what really happened on the day of the eclipse eighteen years ago when Dolores' husband fell down an abandoned well.
A basic plot summary cannot do justice to such an outstanding film. Kathy Bates does a better job here than in "Misery," as Dolores is completely unapologetic about her actions over the years. Jennifer Jason Leigh is also great in a role that goes beyond "bitter daughter," as she and her mother try to get along despite some very deep dark secrets. Christopher Plummer is also good as the obsessed investigator who decides he will make some kind of murder charge stick to Dolores. David Strathairn is one of the most evil characters of all time, becoming a domestic nightmare, but not in the television movie sense. His first initial act of violence with Bates is both disgusting and shocking. John C. Reilly is also good in an early role as a constable. Placed in Maine and filmed in Nova Scotia, the location is absolute perfection. This is the cold ruddy setting of a lot of King's novels, and the best east coast small town since "Needful Things." Hackford, who has done such quality work in the past, shows King's novel a reverence that is often missing from other King adaptations. He does a professional job, both with the eclipse sequences, and especially with the smooth transitions in the film from past to present and back again. No blurry or black and white sequences, you know when and where you are constantly. "Dolores Claiborne" ranks with "Misery" and "The Dead Zone" as one of the best big screen adaptations of King's work, which have become the stuff of television miniseries lately. This is not a horror film, if you appreciate the nuances of Agatha Christie's murder mysteries, or just a good detective story, check this out. In case you haven't figured it out, I definitely recommend it.
A basic plot summary cannot do justice to such an outstanding film. Kathy Bates does a better job here than in "Misery," as Dolores is completely unapologetic about her actions over the years. Jennifer Jason Leigh is also great in a role that goes beyond "bitter daughter," as she and her mother try to get along despite some very deep dark secrets. Christopher Plummer is also good as the obsessed investigator who decides he will make some kind of murder charge stick to Dolores. David Strathairn is one of the most evil characters of all time, becoming a domestic nightmare, but not in the television movie sense. His first initial act of violence with Bates is both disgusting and shocking. John C. Reilly is also good in an early role as a constable. Placed in Maine and filmed in Nova Scotia, the location is absolute perfection. This is the cold ruddy setting of a lot of King's novels, and the best east coast small town since "Needful Things." Hackford, who has done such quality work in the past, shows King's novel a reverence that is often missing from other King adaptations. He does a professional job, both with the eclipse sequences, and especially with the smooth transitions in the film from past to present and back again. No blurry or black and white sequences, you know when and where you are constantly. "Dolores Claiborne" ranks with "Misery" and "The Dead Zone" as one of the best big screen adaptations of King's work, which have become the stuff of television miniseries lately. This is not a horror film, if you appreciate the nuances of Agatha Christie's murder mysteries, or just a good detective story, check this out. In case you haven't figured it out, I definitely recommend it.
Dollar for the Dead (1998)
Emilio Estevez is nameless Cowboy hunting down a half million dollars worth of Confederate gold in this very exciting homage to the spaghetti westerns of the 1960's. Cowboy finds out about the gold from Dooley (William Forsythe, playing a rare good guy role). Dooley is a one-legged Confederate veteran who has a holster that contains part of a map that will lead to a half million dollars in gold. Dooley also has Col. Skinner (Jonathan Banks) and a bunch of renegade Confederates on his tail. Cowboy also has problems, being tracked by Reager (Howie Long) and his band of Regulators for the killing of Reager's son. Cowboy and Dooley team up to find the other three holsters, complete the map, and get the gold.
Writer/Director Quintano uses the opening gunfight to tell the viewer that this is not your run-of-the-mill cable television western. You can spot tips of the hat to "The Matrix" and John Woo films as Cowboy leaps, jumps, and shoots from the hip in more ways than one. The best scene involves Cowboy dropping a drink, pulling and shooting a bad guy, and catching his drink before it hits the floor. Quintano, who has worked on everything from "The Musketeer" to Police Academy films, does an excellent job. His use of the camera will recall those great Sergio Leone films, and he takes the action one step further, defying all logic and belief, and making it really thrilling to watch. My one quibble is that I wish the villains Skinner and Reager had been fleshed out more, but this is a minor complaint. Estevez seems physically wrong in the role, but he is not the quipping Billy the Kid of the "Young Guns" series. He eventually won me over, and I liked what he did with a role he is wrong for. Forsythe is great as Dooley, the peg legged treasure hunter. He is likable without going into comedy relief territory. Ed Lauter is also here as one of the pair's earliest partners, and his part is just right. Long has a good look about him, and he is tough. He should have been taking roles like this in order to bone up his skills before tackling the big screen- "Firestorm," anyone? Banks does not have much to do, but he is also good as the Confederate commander. Plot and exposition are spotty as the main attraction here is the action. Thankfully, Quintano keeps us interested with incredible set pieces you have never seen in a western before. This is not a documentary, Quintano lets you know this right away, so as bodies fly through the air and stagecoaches explode, you are totally enthralled. "Dollar for the Dead" probably could have handled itself in a big screen release. This is definitely a good one, and I highly recommend it.
Writer/Director Quintano uses the opening gunfight to tell the viewer that this is not your run-of-the-mill cable television western. You can spot tips of the hat to "The Matrix" and John Woo films as Cowboy leaps, jumps, and shoots from the hip in more ways than one. The best scene involves Cowboy dropping a drink, pulling and shooting a bad guy, and catching his drink before it hits the floor. Quintano, who has worked on everything from "The Musketeer" to Police Academy films, does an excellent job. His use of the camera will recall those great Sergio Leone films, and he takes the action one step further, defying all logic and belief, and making it really thrilling to watch. My one quibble is that I wish the villains Skinner and Reager had been fleshed out more, but this is a minor complaint. Estevez seems physically wrong in the role, but he is not the quipping Billy the Kid of the "Young Guns" series. He eventually won me over, and I liked what he did with a role he is wrong for. Forsythe is great as Dooley, the peg legged treasure hunter. He is likable without going into comedy relief territory. Ed Lauter is also here as one of the pair's earliest partners, and his part is just right. Long has a good look about him, and he is tough. He should have been taking roles like this in order to bone up his skills before tackling the big screen- "Firestorm," anyone? Banks does not have much to do, but he is also good as the Confederate commander. Plot and exposition are spotty as the main attraction here is the action. Thankfully, Quintano keeps us interested with incredible set pieces you have never seen in a western before. This is not a documentary, Quintano lets you know this right away, so as bodies fly through the air and stagecoaches explode, you are totally enthralled. "Dollar for the Dead" probably could have handled itself in a big screen release. This is definitely a good one, and I highly recommend it.
The Dog Problem (2006)
Before watching this film, not a lot came to mind when I see the name "Scott Caan." Famous dad, supporting roles in a few good movies; I always thought he looked like that jock in high school whose name escapes you at your high school reunion- but then I watched "The Dog Problem." Caan wrote and directed the story of Solo (Giovanni Ribisi), a one-book-wonder author who has therapy five days a week with his shrink (an unbilled Don Cheadle). His psychiatrist suggests Solo get a pet in one of their last sessions; "last" because Solo is not only broke, but owes money to loan shark Benny (Kevin Corrigan). Solo gets a small Tongan terrier, and immediately has issues with the dog; Ribisi's phone conversations with Brad (Med Abrous) the pet store worker are a riot. Solo's best friend, womanizing photographer Casper (Scott Caan) introduces Solo to Jules (Mena Suvari), a spoiled socialite whose good deed to the world is to take in little dogs, love them, then release them to rich homes. Solo gets more and more attached to the still unnamed dog, and meets Lola (the excellent Lynn Collins), a stripper who is more complicated than her job lets on. When Solo's dog turns up missing, Solo realizes the animal means more to him than he knew.
This film is a blast. The creepy thing is: every conversation between Solo and Casper feels so real, I swear I have had the same talks verbatim with friends of mine. Caan has such a great ear for dialogue, and none of the flaws, run-ons, and incomplete sentences feel forced. His screenplay is so accurate, it's almost painful to hear Lola talk about her celibacy and goalless life. Caan gives himself some very funny scenes but keeps all the attention on Solo, where it should be. Ribisi is perfect. Caan's confident camerawork is mind blowing. Toss in everything from the impressive opening title sequence to Mark Mothersbaugh's infectious score, and Caan smoothly uses his shots without nervous trepidation. I had some quibbles about Benny and Jules, but by the time the ending came, I didn't care, I just found everything here extremely funny. My final realization that Caan is a strong comic director? While there are just enough shots of the cute dog, there are no "cute" shots of the dog. No "isn't he adorable!' No "aah, puppy!" I sincerely thank him for that. "The Dog Problem" is Caan's second directorial effort, and I have not laughed at a movie like this in a long time. It's a funny film I happily recommend.
This film is a blast. The creepy thing is: every conversation between Solo and Casper feels so real, I swear I have had the same talks verbatim with friends of mine. Caan has such a great ear for dialogue, and none of the flaws, run-ons, and incomplete sentences feel forced. His screenplay is so accurate, it's almost painful to hear Lola talk about her celibacy and goalless life. Caan gives himself some very funny scenes but keeps all the attention on Solo, where it should be. Ribisi is perfect. Caan's confident camerawork is mind blowing. Toss in everything from the impressive opening title sequence to Mark Mothersbaugh's infectious score, and Caan smoothly uses his shots without nervous trepidation. I had some quibbles about Benny and Jules, but by the time the ending came, I didn't care, I just found everything here extremely funny. My final realization that Caan is a strong comic director? While there are just enough shots of the cute dog, there are no "cute" shots of the dog. No "isn't he adorable!' No "aah, puppy!" I sincerely thank him for that. "The Dog Problem" is Caan's second directorial effort, and I have not laughed at a movie like this in a long time. It's a funny film I happily recommend.
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004)
While the original "Dirty Dancing" was a goofball throwback to letting your hair down and cutting loose, this film is a goofball throwback to letting your hair down and cutting loose in Cuba. It is the fall of 1958. Brainy Katie (Romola Garai) is forced to move to Cuba thanks to Dad's (John Slattery) new job. The family, also including little sis Susie (Mika Boorem) and Mom (Sela Ward) settle in at the Hotel Oceana. Future preppie James (Jonathan Jackson) takes a liking to Katie right away, but Katie has eyes for cute waiter Javier (Diego Luna). The film addresses racism and pre-revolutionary Cuba, as Katie and Javier grow closer thanks to a mutual love for dancing. Katie wants to loosen up her hoofing skills, Mom and Dad were ballroom dancers, and Javier is more than willing to show her. Of course, Katie does get some advice from PATRICK SWAYZE, doing a cameo and showing these snot nosed young uns that he could still tap a foot and make the ladies swoon. Katie and Javier keep their dancing a secret, and practice for the big dance contest. There is plenty of dancing, and kissing, but then Fidel Castro comes along and ruins everything.
I started out hating this film. Bratty teen grows up through The Dance, and learns to appreciate her square family- hm, like the first film. But slowly, the film grew on me. Maybe it was some great location shooting- Puerto Rico standing in for Havana. The two leads have a great chemistry together, both on and off the dance floor. The direction and editing are crisp and fresh, never boring the viewer. Like the first film, the song score is full of songs from the period, and songs that would never be mistaken for the period. I had a good idea where the film was going until the final fifteen minutes, when the Cuban Revolution suddenly popped up. There was no bloodshed, but the last quarter hour of the film is something I did not see coming. In the end, "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights" is purely average entertainment. Sure, I would have liked to see someone from the first film, besides Swayze, but this played more like a made-for-network-TV pilot instead of a major motion picture sequel, or remake, or whatever it is. Nice cast, nice direction, enjoy it for ten minutes after it ends before you realize it stays with you about as long as a fast food meal.
I started out hating this film. Bratty teen grows up through The Dance, and learns to appreciate her square family- hm, like the first film. But slowly, the film grew on me. Maybe it was some great location shooting- Puerto Rico standing in for Havana. The two leads have a great chemistry together, both on and off the dance floor. The direction and editing are crisp and fresh, never boring the viewer. Like the first film, the song score is full of songs from the period, and songs that would never be mistaken for the period. I had a good idea where the film was going until the final fifteen minutes, when the Cuban Revolution suddenly popped up. There was no bloodshed, but the last quarter hour of the film is something I did not see coming. In the end, "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights" is purely average entertainment. Sure, I would have liked to see someone from the first film, besides Swayze, but this played more like a made-for-network-TV pilot instead of a major motion picture sequel, or remake, or whatever it is. Nice cast, nice direction, enjoy it for ten minutes after it ends before you realize it stays with you about as long as a fast food meal.
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