Conquest (1983)

Ah, Lucio Fulci. This infamous Italian director is most famous for "Zombie," and the unwatchable "The Psychic" and "Manhattan Baby." Well, add this film to the unwatchable list.

The plot, as it were, concerns a nude woman who wears a gold mask and a G-string. She wants the power of a young dubbed man who has a set of magic arrows and a bow. They are magic because they glow. Arrow Boy teams up with a guy in a bad wig, and they spend most of the movie rescuing each other from flat action sequences.

Fulci bathes every shot in an orange glow and fills the screen with smoke. The special effects are laughable. In one sequence, our duo are attacked by dozens of arrows that are obviously pin scratches on the film itself. The majority of the effects budget must have been spent on the Fulci-licious gore, which consists of spurting wounds. The spurting wound overkill gets boring. I kept having to play with the brightness setting on my TV to see what the heck was happening. There is lots of talk of fulfilling omens and prophecies, so let me do a little look into the future- if you find this movie and watch it, you will regret it. The scene on the VHS video box by Media and the movie poster does not appear in the film in any context whatsoever. "Conquest" is a con job.

Stats:
(1983) 88 min. (1/10)
-Directed by Lucio Fulci
-Screenplay by Gino Capone & Jose Antonio de la Loma & Carlos Vasallo, Story by Giovanni Di Clemente
-Cast: Jorge Rivero, Andrea Occhipinti, Conrado San Martin, Violeta Cela, Jose Gras, Gioia Scola, Sabrina Siani
(R)