*"Near Death" (2004)*
-Cast: Perrine Moore, Ali Willingham, Scott Lunsford, Brannon Gould, Joe Haggerty, Marieno Savoie, Darlene Tygrett, Scott St. James, Carol Rose Carver, Joseph Commesso
Director Joe Castro presents another incomprehensible horror film that is so bad it's bad. A couple get involved in a houseful of cannibals who are trapped in a Hollywood mansion by an evil dead film director. The acting and script are atrocious, and none of this is bad-in-a-good-way good. I laughed more at the cheap special effects than at the absurdity of the film. What's sad is, if the producers had a little more money and more than two sets, this might have worked.
*"Mad Love (Juana la Loca)" (2001)*
-Cast: Pilar Lopez de Ayala, Daniele Liotti, Rosana Pastor, Giuliano Gemma, Roberto Alvarez, Eloy Azorin, Guillermo Toledo, Susi Sanchez, Chema de Miguel, Andres Lima
Ignore the quotes and hype about the sex scenes in this sumptuous epic. Juana becomes Queen of Spain, but lets her passion and jealousy for her philandering husband get in the way of leading a normal life. There is a lot of sexual situations and questionable liberties with the historical record, but for lack of a better word, this is a lot of fun. The cinematography and costuming is incredible, and the two leads are great in a giant soap opera released into theaters with a some repectable baggage along for the ride.
*"The Strangers" (2008)*
-Cast: Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman, Gemma Ward, Kip Weeks, Laura Margolis, Glenn Howerton, Alex Fisher, Peter Clayton-Luce, Jordan Orr
An overrated thriller that launched a middling franchise. A couple having relationship issues while staying at an isolated cabin are terrorized by three people in masks. There are some dynamite visuals, unembarrassed gun ownership in a mainstream Hollywood film, and some brutal violence, but things definitely lag here and there. I liked the ambiguous ending, despite the constant use of jump cuts throughout the film, but after a while I was checking my watch and being thankful that this was better than "The Purge." Followed by sequels.
*"Smile" (2022)*
-Cast: Sosie Bacon, Kyle Gallner, Jesse T. Usher, Robin Weigert, Kal Penn, Caitlin Stasey, Rob Morgan, Gillian Zinser, Judy Reyes, Jack Sochet
With its sparse, scary visuals and sympathetic cast, I really wanted to like this film. Unfortunately, overlength and a couple of obviouse tropes set in and I eventually noted this was a cross between "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and "The Ring." Not a bad film at all, but it did give me little to smile about. Followed by a sequel.
*"National Lampoon's Gold Diggers" (2003)*
-Cast: Will Friedle, Chris Owen, Louise Lasser, Renee Taylor, Nikki Ziering, Rudy De Luca, Jack Ong, J.J. Cole, Carmen Twillie, Gabriel Bologna
Often considered one of the worst films ever made, and definitely one of the lowest-grossing wide releases of all-time, this is a cinematic travesty but not on a technical level. Friedle is such a funny actor that I wish he had a longer film career, often the best thing about his duds. The basic plot of two older sisters marrying two much younger petty criminals, and both side deciding to kill each other for their money, is a very funny idea. The small cast is okay overall, aside from Ziering being trotted in to show her bewbs in the Unrated DVD release (and not adding anything else). But the film is still bad, one of those movies you can put on in the background while hanging out with distracted friends- something I've always hated about movies like this. One of the many death knells of the National Lampoon brand in the early 2000s.
