When the preview for this film came out, I was all over it. A remake of one of George A. Romero's weakest movies, the trailer and accompanying movie poster were creepy and unsettling, boldly teasing a Stephen King vibe that I couldn't wait to embrace. The film was released, exited theaters, and I quickly forgot about it until one night when I found it on a streaming service. I couldn't believe it had been out for over ten years, but after watching it, I wish I had waited another ten years to see it.
David (Timothy Olyphant) is a sheriff in small town Ogden Marsh, Iowa. He has a goofy deputy, Russ (Joe Anderson), and a pregnant doctor wife Judy (Radha Mitchell). Things seem to be going well in the countryside until one of the townspeople shows up at a local baseball game with a shotgun and David must kill him. This isolated act of violence is shocking enough to the town, but then another neighbor burns down his house with his wife and son inside. David and Russ are overwhelmed as they try to figure out why various people seem to be going "crazy," until they stumble upon a downed aircraft in a small body of water that feeds the town, and that's when The Military shows up.
In that age of Covid, it was interesting to see a "silly" story like a military lockdown played out. Ten years ago, the plot was probably a little goofball (this film doesn't resemble Romero's earlier film that much), but Covid viewers didn't have to suspend their disbelief. I wanted to like "The Crazies," but I kept getting shorted by the film makers. The initial killing is literally minutes into the film, and the viewer isn't given a chance to get their bearings. Suspenseful scenes are continuously undermined by some of the stupidest jump scares in recent memory, and these scares continue throughout the film. I don't know if the film makers didn't have enough confidence in their material, but what they succeed in doing is bringing a scary scene to a full stop by trying to make it "scarier" (the entire truck stop scene later in the film is a perfect example of this). Eisner's direction is fine but the screenplay's pacing is a nightmare. When the military arrives, the story goes off the rails. This isn't the military, capable of containing a small town and erasing any trace of a chemical agent that is poisoning people, this is a bunch of extras with toy guns surrendering and fleeing every time something goes wrong. Even the logistics of containing a small town is off, as if the film makers had never stepped outside of Los Angeles County. I'm a North Dakotan, and very few small towns are not only in the middle of nowhere, but completely isolated from the outside world with citizens who never leave, making rounding them up so much easier. The summer setting is gorgeous, and understandable. God forbid they should shoot in a midwest winter, using the cold and snow to their advantage (as in "The Thing," for example).
Olyphant is fine as David, although he's responsible for about half the unnecessary jump scares. Mitchell is always good, I like how she's open to genre films since they number in her best work- "Phone Booth" and "Pitch Black." We don't learn too much about the virus and its origins, although seperating anyone who has an elevated temperature is rather familiar. The front end of the film is in such a hurry to get started that the middle lags, and the ending is unbelievable to an eye-rolling level.
"The Crazies" had potential, isolated small town horror often works, but in the film makers' desire to terrify, someone didn't go back and ask some logical questions.
Stats:
-Directed by Breck Eisner
-Screenplay by Scott Kosar and Ray Wright based on a motion picture written by George A. Romero
-Cast: Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Joe Anderson, Danielle Panabaker, Christie Lynn Smith, Brett Rickaby, Preston Bailey, John Aylward, Joe Reegan, Glenn Morshower
-Media: Amazon Prime Streaming
-Running Time: 101 minutes
-Rating: (* 1/2/* * * * *)
-MPAA Rated (R), contains strong physical violence, strong gun violence, strong gore, profanity, some adult situations
