Call Me Fishmael (1998) Directed by Steve Dovas
This okay animated effort is only three or four minutes long, and is a Hollywood pitch about a singing sea monster who sounds like Mel Torme. Ends just as it wears out its welcome. (* * *) out of five stars.
Enchanted (Verzaubert) (2000) Directed by Christian Ditter
A German effort with no dialogue, a young man trims his hair before heading to a library to see his cute female crush he hasn't spoken to. His young siblings take some of his discarded hair, glue it on what looks like a Ken doll, and are able to unknowingly control his movements with this rudimentary voodoo doll. In black and white for no reason, and it makes it's little joke early and often, but the cast is likable. Basically, another short film that ends just in time. (* * *) out of five stars.
Protest (1999) Directed by S.D. Katz
Breathtaking visuals of massive elephants throwing themselves off of tall skyscrapers in a city quickly gives way to a conservation message that feels tacked on. Impressive right up until then. (* * * 1/2) out of five stars.
Jorge (1998) Directed by Joel Hopkins
The longest of the four films on the disc is a standard romantic comedy buoyed by nuanced performances by Tunde Adebimpe and Loreni Delgado. Adebimpe is George, who meets Alicia when she comes to temp at his travel agency. The pacing is very slow, however, and the ending left me unsatisfied. (* * *) out of five stars.
The Witch of Kings Cross (2021)
A documentary about Australian artist Rosaleen Norton- a self-proclaimed witch who seemed to delight in needling the art and media establishment back in the 1950's, while fighting the puritanism that, at one point, ordered some of her artwork destroyed. Norton didn't hold anything back, paving the way for the counter-culture of the late 1960's. The film makers did a nice job of filling in a lack of physical media of the subject with reenactments, turning this into something more than another "talking heads" documentary. Provocative subject and artwork are all interesting. (* * * */* * * * *)
Not Rated, contains mild physical violence, some gore, profanity, strong female nudity, artwork nudity, some sexual content, very strong sexual references, strong adult situations, tobacco and alcohol use
Symbolicus Vol. 1 (2021)
A mixed bag of an experimental film. Thirteen underground directors were assigned a symbol and a time slot and had to turn in a short film. Most of the segments are very gory and squallid, and the lack of any restrictions lets the assembled film makers play. The good outweighs the bad here, with some incredible visuals, and I am definitely looking forward to the sequel. (* * * */* * * * *)
Not Rated, contains strong physical violence, very strong gore, profanity, very strong female nudity, male nudity, explicit sexual content, sexual references, very strong adult situations, drug abuse, tobacco and alcohol use
"Rene Wiesner's Pulp Films," begins with "Addio Uomo" (2018). This short film chronicles some dead bodies on display at a temple in Thailand, along with some random footage of an injured chicken and giant lizard. The footage is so random that I quickly became bored, and the lack of background information as to what we were looking at didn't help. A second cut of the film from director Magnus Blomdahl using the same footage doesn't add anything. (* 1/2/* * * * *). Not Rated, contains extreme gore, very strong adult situations. Wiesner's "Todessehnsucht" (2018) and it's sequel(?) "Ossarium" (2019) were next. In the first film, a little girl goes and visits the same place highlighted in the earlier "Addio Uomo," and in the second film, an older woman visits a similar place in Germany. These aren't documentaries per se, and play a little better than "Addio Uomo." Both films (* * 1/2/* * * * *). Not rated, both films contain some extreme gore, adult situations. The last, and best film in the Wiesner "Pulp Films" collection is "The Wonders of Young Ulysses" (2019). Wiesner was granted access to a suicide victim's apartment after the body was removed, and discovers some sad information about the possible motive. A very difficult short to watch, especially considering my childhood background (sorry, I bring that up a lot when I watch some of these films), and Wiesner's unobtrusive camerawork makes you feel like you're in the room with him. Strong stuff. (* * * */* * * * *) Not rated, contains brief extreme gore, artwork nudity, sexual references, strong adult situations
"Flesh Eater X" (2021)
This is, on the surface, SamHel's most intense film to date, filled with unsimulated sexual intercourse and simulated gore and cannibalism. Wolvie Ironbear is a gender fluid (I don't know if I'm using all these new terms correctly) serial killer in San Francisco who we watch murder and devour three victims. While a full-length film, this worked better as the short "LoveDump." There is no dialogue, Ironbear is definitely a one of a kind film performer, but I guess I wanted more considering the porn actress supporting cast. Hopefully, SamHel can get some horror into his next horror film, there is no suspense in this one. (* */* * * * *)
Not rated, contains physical violence, strong gore, strong female nudity, strong male nudity, explicit sexual content, sexual references, strong adult situations
"Michael: A Murderabilia Memoriam" (2021)
Also known as "Michael, Sammler," this profiles a German collector of murderabilia. The usual suspects are here- artwork by John Wayne Gacy, letters signed by Richard Ramirez, and interestingly, a document signed by Lizzie Borden's father. Michael comes off as a very normal guy, and explains his fascination with this material very well, including his desire to have contact with victims' families and collect some of their items as well (that would be a very interesting collection). This is yet another Rene Wiesner film, and while it's not as detailed as I would have liked, it does its job. Plus, Michael is not nearly an asshole like the two dudes in "Collectors." Finally, the DVD of "Michael: A Murderabilia Memoriam" featured another Rene Wiesner short film- "Des Morts Des Catacombes" (2020). Ans, the gal from a few other Wiesner works, tours the Parisian catacombs, and tries to kiss a skull. Only four minutes long, this is basically someone's cell phone video with credits. (Michael: * * */* * * * *, Catacombs: * 1/2/* * * * *)
Not rated, both contain adult situations
Boys in the 'Hood: "The Brotherhood of Justice" (1986)
This made-for-TV movie is more notable for its cast of future stars than anything else. Keanu Reeves and his buddies are tired of seeing their high school vandalized. After misinterpreting their principal's (Joe Spano) speech, they form the title and start fighting back vigilante-style. Of course, the Brotherhood starts splintering as their noble vendettas turn personal. Check out the rest of this cast!: Kiefer Sutherland, Lori Loughlin (who has a laugh-out-loud line about studying hard to get into a good college), "Titanic" alum Billy Zane and Danny Nucci, and 80s mainstays like Darren Dalton, Evan Mirand, Don Michael Paul, and Gary Riley. Things run pretty slow in the second half, the climax is handled badly (negating some nice directorial choices by Charles Braverman), and Sutherland and Reeves should have switched roles. I was in high school when this was made, and of course it is nothing like real life. For drinking fun, take a shot every time the word "brotherhood" is uttered, and you'll be blitzed inside of the first half hour.
Humbug: "A Christmas Carol" (1994)
A pretty awful straight-to-video animated effort stays faithful to Charles Dickens' story, but is all over the place visually. One sequence is repeated in the opening minutes, I thought my VCR was finally dying. You can probably find this for free at a thrift store, but even then, it's not worth your time. One of many video classics put out by Goodtimes Home Video, and from what I understand, they all kind of sucked.
Beyond Repair: "Breasts and Beyond" (1991)
A porno rip-off of "The Apartment" that doesn't try anything different. I pretty much checked email and social media while this was on. Two of the three male sex actors (Jon Dough and Eric Price) died before the age of 56 from suicide, and yet porn attracts thousands of performers and millions of views. A waste of an hour, moving on...
Muddy Waters: "Bad Man's River" (1974)
This spaghetti western is a bizarre comedy/heist film. The opening scenes are unwatchable as the director tries to funny up the proceedings with a lousy barbershop quartet-sounding song score, and a weird choice to freeze the picture in the middle of a scene. Star James Mason doesn't wander onto the set until over half way through the running time...playing a Mexican... Lee Van Cleef seems to be trying to have fun, and there is a much improved looking Blu-ray copy of this out there, but aside from some singular scenes and a hysterical Sergio Fantoni, this is a chore to sit through.
Mixed Feelings: "Cassette: A Documentary Mixtape" (2016)
A serviceable documentary about the compact cassette tape that we all had growing up in the 1970s and '80s, hampered somewhat by the un-nostalgic and often rudely indifferent inventor of the system. Scenes with Henry Rollins and other musicians cooing over their vast collections are offset by boring scenes of inventor Lou Ottens and the directors' desperate attempts to engage the old man. Scratches the service, and no mention of 8-Tracks?
Some Fat to Chew On: "FAT: A Documentary" (2019)
At first glance, you might think this documentary was just an extended infomercial for Vinnie Tortorich's No Carb No Sugar diet plans. Instead, my eyes were opened to the politics of food, and how even medical and pharmaceutical companies often put profit over the patient, with a lot of help from the government. Studies were fudged or ignored, American Put-Your-Disease-Here Associations are criticized, and the mainstream media is raked over the coals. Depending on your point of view (I'm a Conservative, so I could have told you about the horrors of "unbiased television journalism"), this is either a giant load of bull or this will make you rethink everything you have ever been told about your most prized possession- your health. I'm on the rethinking side of this one. (* * * * *) out of five stars.
