Easily the worst film of all involved, this ridiculousness makes any episode of "Real Housewives of..." look like "Citizen Kane." This review contains hilarious spoilers.
The complicated plot involves rich and popular couple Eleanor (Madeleine Stowe) and Arthur (William Hurt), successful in 1930's Boston in everything but having children. Enter Roger (Neil Patrick Harris), a law school graduate who is picked to sire an offspring with Eleanor for Arthur. Roger is hired by Hannibal (Robert Loggia, who leaves the picture midway through). Roger has "comic" moments that make "Road Trip" look Algonquin, and eventually Eleanor conceives.
**SPOILERS** Talk about your co-inkydinks, new priest Michael (Kenneth Branagh) comes to town, not wanting to meet with rich parishioners Eleanor and Arthur. Why? In a plot twist worthy of a cheap romance novel, Michael turns out to be Arthur's estranged brother's son. Eleanor, now pregnant, visits Michael and happens upon him burying a dead man- Roger, who was murdered. Eleanor falls into the open grave and miscarries. Let me repeat that- Eleanor FALLS into the open grave. Arthur makes himself scarce through the middle of the film, away on business, and Michael and Auntie Eleanor become closer. Syril (Blythe Danner), Arthur's mother figure, suggests nature take its course, and Eleanor could give birth to Michael's child and then Arthur would raise it. That would make Arthur's child his actual first cousin once removed, or would that be second cousin, or...? **END SPOILERS**
The impressive cast is terrible. Danner is Hurt's mother figure, Branagh is the young priest/Hurt's nephew, and yet all the performers look the same age. Danner's role in the family is not mentioned until over halfway through, in the meantime she comes off as a nosy servant with no social life. Stowe plays an early women's libber, and I doubt this film will make it onto the Top Ten NOW film list. She writes scandalous novels about women's property rights, but hops into bed a little too quickly to give Hurt a son. The couple starts the film lovingly, there are too few scenes to indicate why they loathe each other at the end, or why Stowe keeps giving in to these stupid men, considering her social cause. Harris goes from intelligent law school graduate to overheated sex machine doofus in three minutes screen time. Branagh and Hurt spend many scenes looking at each other, as if trying to figure out what the other is doing in this mess. The film touches on everything from Nazi sympathies to women's lib to surrogate fatherhood to foreign trade to the stock market. The only thing not touched on is a decent screenplay and adequate direction. If you are looking for another Hollywood attack on organized religion, grab this. If you are looking for something to get your mind off those complicated online reaction videos, reality TV, or dance challenges, here you go. If you are looking for a few Oscar winners and nominees going through the motions of a dumb script and embarrassing dialogue, grudgingly accept this proposition.
Stats:
(1998) 110 min. (1/10)
-Directed by Lesli Linka Glatter
-Written by Rick Ramage
-Cast: Kenneth Branagh, Madeleine Stowe, William Hurt, Neil Patrick Harris, Robert Loggia, Blythe Danner, Josef Sommer, Ken Cheeseman, Dee Nelson, Pamela Hart, Wendy Feign, Thomas Downey, Tom Kemp
-(R)
-Media Viewed: Home Video
