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Mega-star George Clooney is the first victim in this slasher/comedy wannabe. He is also the luckiest, since he does not have to endure the rest of the film.
Five years after murders rock a high school, film makers return to shoot a film based on that event. Members of the cast and crew begin disappearing, indicating a killer is still lurking in the halls of Crippen High.
The killer did not do enough slashing, he should have had a stab at this script. The characters have been done before- the director is all artistic frenzy, the producer is a sleazy scumbag, the screenwriter is ignored, and the actors are shallow. At one point, an actor playing a corpse with a hatchet in his face asks "what is my motivation?", as if that joke has not been done a thousand times before (it has). The heroes are a local cop and his cute actress girlfriend, who begin wandering around the set and writing down lists of names of the crew who have a connection to the high school. This plays like rejected scenes from "Harriet the Spy," as they happen on a conversation, whip out a notebook, nod, and write. There are a number of familiar faces in the cast including Maureen McCormick, who has an odd role as an oversexed police woman. Clooney does disappear early, but the look on his face tells you he had to do this silliness to fill a resume (which obviously worked). The film makers constantly try to trick the viewer with "are you watching the film, or the real thing?" scenes that get old quick. The ending is insipid, makes no sense, and the sequel everyone promises was never made.
"Return to Horror High" should be held after class and put into detention. Skip it.
Stats:
(1987) 95 min. (1/10)
-Directed by Bill Froehlich
-Written by Bill Froehlich & Mark Lisson and Dana Escalante & Greg H. Sims
-Cast: Lori Lethin, Brendan Hughes, George Clooney, Vince Edwards, Maureen McCormick, Alex Rocco, Scott Jacoby, Andy Romano, Pepper Martin, Philip McKeon, Cliff Emmich, Richard Brestoff, Al Fann
(R)
Media Viewed: VHS
