Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

*Get "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (1974) on Amazon here*

The reluctant "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" franchise gets yet another reboot/reimagining/sequel, but this time they go the Halloween/Kills/Ends route and bring back a surviving character from the original film. Things don't work out as well here as they did for the "Halloween" series.

Four idealistic (or naive?) friends purchase a ghost town in Texas. They plan on renovating the entire town, and turning it into a progressive haven where they can save the world. Sisters Melody (Sarah Yarkin) and Lila (Elsie Fisher), and couple Dante (Jacob Latimore) and Ruth (Nell Hudson) have run-ins with local law enforcement and some town hangers-on, with the film makers casting aspersions immediately- the Gen Z/millenials are portrayed as wide-eyed and woke, while the Texans encountered are a bunch of drawling, gun-toting racists. Lila was injured in a school shooting, and Melody hovers over her constantly. The group hear the tale of Leatherface (told in the 1974 original film), and we learn that the final surviving girl from that film, Sally (Olwen Fouere, taking the role originated by the late Marilyn Burns), became a Texas Ranger and is currently waiting for the call that her archnemesis may still be found since the murders of her friends are officially listed as "unsolved." The group arrives in the ghost town to wait for a busload of investors, and find that an old lady (Alice Krige) and her adopted son (Mark Burnham) are still living in an abandoned orphanage. The ghost town is going to get renovated by one man, Richter (Moe Dunford), who doesn't take to the group. Leatherface finally makes a questionable appearance, the carnage begins, and there's a lot of questions throughout.

The timeline for the TCM franchise is even more convoluted than the Halloween franchise. The film is barely over eighty minutes long, so there isn't a lot of character development or legacy building, although I did see director Garcia paying tribute to some other famous slasher films here and there. The script tries to inject something different into its story, addressing the influencer craze without going overboard with it. Garcia's direction works well with the film's editing, and this is a tightly shot flick, although Bulgaria makes a lousy substitute for the Lone Star state- I'm a fourth generation born Texan, and know my birth state pretty well.

The problem here is, of course, the script. Characters not only make bad decisions, they make idiotic decisions that literally get themselves and others killed. While some of them evolve and put up a fight against Leatherface, they also open themselves up to their own demise because if they didn't, the movie would be even shorter. The gore and violence is over the top, and I was very surprised that it got an (R) rating. The special effects are very well done, but also very convincing, to the point that this isn't a "fun" horror film. "Terrifier" was also a gory slasher/horror film, but it had tension and suspense. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" has little tension, and viewers instead asking aloud "why did they just do that?!". One set-piece on a bus was probably set up as the be-all-end-all of gruesome mass murder, but it becomes a nihilistic exercise in tedium. In this day and age, it's sad that we've become so numb, this is considered entertainment to be "enjoyed" again and again, considering that the original film, aside from one of the greatest titles of all-time, wasn't as gory as you would expect, or remember.

I think it's okay to finally put this franchise to rest, this debuted on streaming because of some disastrous pre-release screenings, so don't look for it on physical media anytime soon. I didn't hate it as much as some viewers and critics did- I guess I'm old school, looking for the horror in my horror films.

Stats:
(2022) 81 min. (* 1/2) out of five stars
-Directed by David Blue Garcia
-Screenplay by Chris Thomas Devlin, Story by Fede Alvarez & Rodo Sayagues, Based on characters created by Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper
-Cast: Sarah Yarkin, Elsie Fisher, Alice Krige, William Hope, Mark Burnham, Jacob Latimore, Moe Dunford, Olwen Fouere, Jessica Allain, Nell Hudson, Jolyon Coy, Sam Douglas, John Larroquette
(R)-contains very strong physical violence, strong gun violence, very strong gore, profanity, mild sexual references, very strong adult situations, alcohol use