Tom (Max Thayer) is recruited by a secret government agency to place wiretaps. The wiretappers are retired, so Tom becomes a "retriever," an elite force that retrieves people for the company's gain. He helps retrieve Danny (Lenard Miller), but Tom has had enough of the violence, and spares Danny's sister Janice (Shawn Hoskins). Turns out Danny wrote an expose on being in the company, and Tom and Janice run around trying to get the book published with the rest of the Retrievers hot on their tails.
This film is violent. Not full of action or adventure, but violent just to be mean and violent. I can handle violence in films but this movie is also badly done. Badly written? That, too, but I am talking about handheld camerawork that had my stomach churning. I am talking about introducing a fat character just for the tuba on the soundtrack, and the laughs from how huge he is. I am talking about the shootings of unemployed drunks in one scene, and a racist term in the closing credits. I am talking about Katey Sagal singing one of the worst movie songs of all-time. I am talking about spotting a boom microphone or its shadow not once, not twice, but three times. I am talking about an opening scene that has a gunman mow down a children's birthday party, killing adults and kids.
Hong's direction is terrible. The fight scenes are so poorly choreographed, I was giggling as henchmen and heroes rarely connected with their fake punches, yet still fell back injured. The cast is awful, all the villains meld together and look alike. Max Thayer is a weak leading man, but he is given a part that no one could play. Sure, Tom helped kidnap Danny, but Janice falls in love with him anyway. The movie takes so many leaps in logic I just sat back, stunned.
"The Retrievers" is awful. There are no redeeming moments, plot points, or characters. Unless you are a young film maker who needs to know what NOT to do, you will want to skip it. Also known as "Hot and Deadly," a title just as dumb as the film itself.
Stats:
(1982) 90 min. (1/10)
-Directed by Elliott Hong
-Screenplay by Larry Stamper, Story by Larry Stamper and Elliott Hong
-Cast: Max Thayer, Lenard Miller, Shawn Hoskins, Randy Anderson, Bud Kramer, Ed Egington, Roselyn Royce, Hugh Van Putten, Harry Shapiro, Tony Cabellano, Susie Holliday, Patricia Monville, John Hilton
(R)
Media Viewed: Home Video
