Rebel Wilson and Anna Camp try to rekindle some "Pitch Perfect" onscreen chemistry magic in this colossal missed opportunity.
Sam (Rebel Wilson) and Betsy (Anna Camp) are childhood friends reuniting for Betsy's upcoming wedding to Ryan (Sam Huntington). Sam has set up an elaborate bachelorette party in Paris featuring the other bridesmaids: Ryan's sister Virginia (Anna Chlumsky), Betsy's college roommates Lydia (Da'Vine Joy Randolph) and Zoe (Gigi Zumbado), and Ryan and Virginia's mother Diane (producer Colleen Camp). Sam is actually in Paris on a secret mission as a government agent, leaving the drunken partiers early to take care of some business. Betsy gets upset, and Virginia swoops in to take over the maid of honor role. Ordered on vacation, Sam still shows up at the private island wedding months later at Virginia and Ryan's family estate just in time for villain Kurt (Stephen Dorff) and his henchman to take the wedding party hostage. Sam goes "Die Hard" on these uninvited guests, and tries to mend her relationship with Betsy and the other bridesmaids.
The film is a frustrating exercise in mid. Ryan and Virginia's family are megarich, the terms "elite" and "elitist" are bandied about, but their privileged cluelessness at how the real world works falls flat. Sam and Betsy's deep friendship is glossed over in a strange opening credits montage, and the film makers must punch up a few onscreen credits to let everyone know who these people are. Dorff's Kurt is a bore, and despite the title, there is no winking acknowledgement to "Die Hard." Handing the comedy reins to action director Simon West (Con Air, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, The Expendables 2) was a mistake. Some of the fight scenes are nicely coordinated but the slapstick falls flat. Wilson can't nail down whether Sam is a tough-as-nails hired killer, or funny gal who backed herself into getting in harm's way. Every character is a type: Virginia is a weak schemer, Lydia is oversexed and sassy, Zoe is extremely pregnant and hates her meek husband Dave (Remy Ortiz), and Diane is the inappropriately foul-mouthed old lady. West's direction is listless as he seems afraid to question what is written on the page. His final airboat chase, previewed in the trailer (which pretty much gives away the entire film) is badly directed and edited with weak special effects and leaps in logic. The villains' process to move the twenty-seven pound gold bars from the giant mansion to those airboats defy all laws of physics- another humorous opportunity wasted (what if their foolproof plan wasn't foolproof?). Automatic weapons fire never hit their mark, and large baking pans are impervious to bullets. For the record, I kept mistakenly referring to this as "Bride Wars," even after I bought the tickets at the theater.
Throw in two too many false endings, and "Bride Hard" is a mess. Wilson and Camp were so good in the "Pitch Perfect" series, the soundtrack sometimes scores, and Chlumsky is a revelation to watch as she tries to mold her non-character into something more than a name and occasional shifty behavior, but this is one of those films tailor-made for "background" as you're playing games or texting on your phone. I thought for sure this was rated (PG-13), a cut here or there might have opened the film up to a wider audience since it bombed hard at the theaters.
