Witchboard (1986)

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This 1986 film is more infamous for Tawny Kitaen's brief shower scene than anything else, and believe me, you must sit through a lot in order to see it.

Kitaen is Linda, a bubble-headed college student who lives with current jerk boyfriend Jim (Todd Allen). During a party, former jerk boyfriend Brandon (Stephen Nichols) makes an appearance sporting a Ouija board ("it's pronounced 'wee-juh'"). He makes contact with his guide spirit David, a dead ten year old boy. Except there is another EVIL spirit in the board, and it quickly shunts helpful David aside. Linda begins using the Ouija board alone, a big no-no, and one of Jim's construction worker buddies is killed in an on site "accident." This peaks the interest of jerk homicide detective Dewhurst (Burke Byrnes), who questions Jim's connection to the death. As Linda begins showing all the signs of spirit possession, she thinks she is pregnant, Brandon suspects the worst and calls in a medium named Zarabeth (Kathleen Wilhoite), and the final showdown combines the aforementioned shower scene, some lousy special effects, and Dewhurst's laughable attempt to help out the good guys.

Kathleen Wilhoite brings in the film's only levity, cracking psychic jokes and brightening the film. Director/writer Tenney's script is more ambitious than his direction. In one scene, a character is chased by a camera's point-of-view, and you catch the cameraman's shadow on three different occasions. Tenney uses zoom and fish eye lenses ad nauseum, and may rival Kubrick in the sheer number of steadicam shots allowed in one film. The gore is pretty mild compared to other horror films of the 1980's, and this may be budgetary. Jim, Brandon, and Dewhurst are all morons. Tenney makes them so unlikable, when one of them gets a hatchet to the head, I almost stood and cheered. Jim and Brandon harbor deep seated resentment over Linda, yet bicker and argue as if Jim stole Brandon's last beer, not the love of their respective petty lives. Dewhurst's preoccupation with magic may have been meant as characterization, but it does not work as anything more than an annoyance. Linda comes off as an airhead, Kitaen's valiant attempt at acting evil in the finale is bad. Throw in TV icon Rose Marie in an unnecessary role as a landlady, and Tenney proves his contempt for both his characters and the actors who must play them. The final end credits song, "Bump in the Night," may have you running from your living room, screaming.

"Witchboard" spawned two bad sequels. I am afraid, very afraid, I cannot recommend this silly venture.

Stats:
(1986) 98 min. (*) out of five stars
-Written and Directed by Kevin Tenney
-Cast: Tawny Kitaen, Todd Allen, Stephen Nichols, Kathleen Wilhoite, Burke Byrnes, James W. Quinn, Rose Marie, Judy Tatum, Gloria Hayes, J.P. Luebsen, Susan Nickerson, Ryan Carroll, Kenny Rhodes
(R)