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"Greatest Heroes of the Bible" ineptitude continues with this blase recreation of the epic fight between shepherd David and giant warrior Goliath.
Roger Kern is the eager young David who goes to the front of a stalemated war between King Saul's (a terrible Jeff Corey) army and that of Debuknar (John Dehner). David is taking bread to his brothers, one of who is Daniel J. Travanti, and the army meets up with Goliath (Ted Cassidy). Goliath sounds like a modern day professional wrestler, and looks like one too, dressed in a trojan outfit and spouting insults like "vermin" and "wormy." Lord general Abner (Hugh O'Brian) convinces King Saul to let David fight Goliath so Abner can move his tens of men into position to attack the tens of Debuknar's troops. David and Goliath meet, Goliath cannot seem to make any of his javelins take the little shepherd out, and as Abner gets his men in position, David hits Goliath in the forehead with a stone and kills him. What follows is a couple of dozen men running around and whacking each other with plastic swords in one of the least bloody battles ever filmed.
Like a bad car accident, I could not seem to look away from this series. The cast looks properly ashamed to be in this thing. The old Magnum Entertainment/Guiding Image video release is only thirty seven minutes long, as opposed to "GHOTB: Abraham's Sacrifice," which was fifty five minutes long. The cast is listed at the beginning, but not the crew, so I had no idea who wrote or directed this un-valiant try until I did some internet research. There are good movies based on stories from the Bible, and then there is this.
"Greatest Heroes of the Bible: David and Goliath" feels like a rock to the forehead. I cannot recommend it.
Stats:
(1978) 37 min. (1/2 *) out of five stars
-Directed by James L. Conway
-Written by Brian Russell, S.S. Schweitzer
-Cast: Roger Kern, Ted Cassidy, Jeff Corey, John Dehner, Hugh O'Brian, Daniel J. Travanti, Victor Jory, Sam DeFazio, John Lazar, Jon Van Ness
(Not Rated)
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