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This infamous little slasher flick with the infamous little title is full of blood, violence, and nudity. It is everything you expect from something of this ilk.
Supposedly based on a true story, four women in an apartment building are brutally murdered by items normally found in a toolbox. The killer (and the film makers do not hide this fact) is Vance (Cameron Mitchell), the building owner. Vance is a religious nut who recently lost his daughter in a car accident and begins punishing "sinful" women. The last third of the film sees the deaths of two major characters, and wraps things up nicely with the end credits crawl describing what happened to the "survivors" of this "real life" crime spree.
Although rated (R), this is some very violent stuff. The first half hour, when the majority of the crimes take place, is unpleasant. One of the first murders includes the now infamous killing of a model taking a bath. The blood flows freely, and the murders are punctuated by some truly bizarre country and love tunes. The film makers build up a subplot between Laurie (Pamelyn Ferdin) and Joey's (Nicolas Beauvy) mom (Aneta Corsaut) and the standard driven police detective that never pans out. Ferdin and Eure were mainstays on television in the 1970's and they do well, considering the material. Donnelly's direction is pretty basic, a camera shadow can be seen here and there. Gary Graver, the cinematographer, is better known as Orson Welles' cameraman later in the great director's career. Graver seems to have made a career of this kind of film, his involvement usually sets you up for what to expect.
I cannot explain why I am recommending this film. Genre fans might appreciate the gore effects, and the reputation this film now celebrates. This is a serial killer film before the term "serial killer" was coined. The events are watchable, however. "The Toolbox Murders" is not "Scream" or "Urban Legends," this is the type of film that no more motive than to scare and disgust its viewer. If that is all they wanted to do, they succeeded.
Stats:
(1978) 93 min. (8/10)
-Directed by Dennis Donnelly
-Screenplay by Neva Friedenn & Robert Easter and Ann Kindberg, Story by Robert Easter
-Cast: Cameron Mitchell, Pamelyn Ferdin, Wesley Eure, Nicolas Beauvy, Tim Donnelly, Aneta Corsaut, Faith McSwain, Marciee Drake, Evelyn Guerrero, Victoria Perry, Don Diamond, Kelly Nichols, Kathleen O'Malley
(R)
Media Viewed: Home Video
Friday, August 15, 2025
Treasure Island (1934)
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I lucked out in high school. I had a good streak of English teachers. While other classes were reading "The Great Gatsby," "The Pigman," and "Hamlet," I was entrenched in "Frankenstein," "In Cold Blood," and "Macbeth." Another classic I got to avoid was "Treasure Island." After watching the 1934 film version, I kind of get the feeling Robert Louis Stevenson's book was better.
Jim Hawkins (Jackie Cooper) and his mother (Dorothy Peterson) run a small inn in England. One night a creepy paranoid drunk named Billy Bones (Lionel Barrymore) checks in, demanding Jim watch out for a one-legged man who wants to get Billy and the secret he carries in his ship's chest. Billy does call attention to himself, and drinks himself into an early grave, just as mysterious men descend on the inn, looking for Billy's secret- a treasure map. Jim has taken the map, shown it to the local magistrate/doctor Livesey (Otto Kruger), and the local squire Trelawney (Nigel Bruce) funds an expedition to the Caribbean to find Billy Bones' treasure. The ship, the Hispaniola, is being captained by Smollett (Lewis Stone), but the hired crew keeps disappearing before they set sail. A one-legged local tavern owner named Long John Silver (Wallace Beery) is hired on as cook, and he conveniently fills out the crew with friends of his. Silver goes about befriending the boy, all the while picking up clues on where Bones' treasure is.
Beery and Cooper teamed before, more successfully I have heard, in "The Champ" a couple of years earlier. In that film, Cooper's incessant crying had the film audiences of the day in tears themselves, and from clips I have seen of the film, I can understand why. He was incredibly good, not overly cute, and very believable. Here, as Jim, he cries again at Silver's doings, but it does not come off as well. As Silver continuously manipulates Jim, and is caught and called out on it, Jim sobs, then goes right back to the well for more. It comes to the point where Jim's naivete becomes Jim's irritating stupidity, as he doesn't seem to learn a thing- from the very beginning of the film to the strange final scene. And oh, what Jim sees! Director Fleming was more an action director, making his "The Wizard of Oz" and "Gone With the Wind," his best known films, notable in that he took over from another director on both. "Treasure Island" is violent, even for the mid-1930's. One man is run over by a wagon, and we see him scream and writhe. Murders occur around Jim at an alarming rate. Jim is threatened and grabbed, and even forced to kill, yet, he keeps seeing the good in the murderous Silver, and Fleming fills the screen with bloody mayhem- accompanied by light sea shanties, and comic relief from Charles "Chic" Sale as Ben Gunn, a man who has been on the treasured island for three years without human contact. The tone is so off, and so weird, I watched to see what horrors Jim would experience next, and bottle up inside. Someone should write a sequel where Jim ends up in an insane asylum like Bedlam, a quivering mass of jelly expecting drunkards and one-legged men to pop out and attack him.
Beery and Cooper don't try English accents, and while well-shot, the film is stagy. The ship scenes work, and some of the supporting performances are great- Barrymore especially- but you can often see poor Beery's leg merely bent up to look absent, thanks to some lousy editing. While this outing of "Treasure Island" isn't all bad, coming from the Golden Age of Cinema, it is a disappointment. I'll give the superior "Mutiny on the Bounty" and "Captains Courageous" another look next time I feel the need for big boats and bigger water.
Stats:
(1934) 110 min. (6/10)
-Directed by Victor Fleming
-Screenplay by John Lee Mahin, Based on the novel by Robert Louis Stevenson
-Cast: Wallace Beery, Jackie Cooper, Dorothy Peterson, Lionel Barrymore, Otto Kruger, Nigel Bruce, Lewis Stone, Charles 'Chic' Sale, William V. Mong, Charles McNaughton, Douglass Dumbrille, Edmund Breese, Olin Howland
(Not Rated)
Media Viewed: Home Video
*Get Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson on Amazon here*
*Get "Treasure Island" wall decor on Amazon here*
*Get Please Don't Shoot My Dog: The Autobiography of Jackie Cooper by Jackie Cooper with Dick Kleiner on Amazon here*
I lucked out in high school. I had a good streak of English teachers. While other classes were reading "The Great Gatsby," "The Pigman," and "Hamlet," I was entrenched in "Frankenstein," "In Cold Blood," and "Macbeth." Another classic I got to avoid was "Treasure Island." After watching the 1934 film version, I kind of get the feeling Robert Louis Stevenson's book was better.
Jim Hawkins (Jackie Cooper) and his mother (Dorothy Peterson) run a small inn in England. One night a creepy paranoid drunk named Billy Bones (Lionel Barrymore) checks in, demanding Jim watch out for a one-legged man who wants to get Billy and the secret he carries in his ship's chest. Billy does call attention to himself, and drinks himself into an early grave, just as mysterious men descend on the inn, looking for Billy's secret- a treasure map. Jim has taken the map, shown it to the local magistrate/doctor Livesey (Otto Kruger), and the local squire Trelawney (Nigel Bruce) funds an expedition to the Caribbean to find Billy Bones' treasure. The ship, the Hispaniola, is being captained by Smollett (Lewis Stone), but the hired crew keeps disappearing before they set sail. A one-legged local tavern owner named Long John Silver (Wallace Beery) is hired on as cook, and he conveniently fills out the crew with friends of his. Silver goes about befriending the boy, all the while picking up clues on where Bones' treasure is.
Beery and Cooper teamed before, more successfully I have heard, in "The Champ" a couple of years earlier. In that film, Cooper's incessant crying had the film audiences of the day in tears themselves, and from clips I have seen of the film, I can understand why. He was incredibly good, not overly cute, and very believable. Here, as Jim, he cries again at Silver's doings, but it does not come off as well. As Silver continuously manipulates Jim, and is caught and called out on it, Jim sobs, then goes right back to the well for more. It comes to the point where Jim's naivete becomes Jim's irritating stupidity, as he doesn't seem to learn a thing- from the very beginning of the film to the strange final scene. And oh, what Jim sees! Director Fleming was more an action director, making his "The Wizard of Oz" and "Gone With the Wind," his best known films, notable in that he took over from another director on both. "Treasure Island" is violent, even for the mid-1930's. One man is run over by a wagon, and we see him scream and writhe. Murders occur around Jim at an alarming rate. Jim is threatened and grabbed, and even forced to kill, yet, he keeps seeing the good in the murderous Silver, and Fleming fills the screen with bloody mayhem- accompanied by light sea shanties, and comic relief from Charles "Chic" Sale as Ben Gunn, a man who has been on the treasured island for three years without human contact. The tone is so off, and so weird, I watched to see what horrors Jim would experience next, and bottle up inside. Someone should write a sequel where Jim ends up in an insane asylum like Bedlam, a quivering mass of jelly expecting drunkards and one-legged men to pop out and attack him.
Beery and Cooper don't try English accents, and while well-shot, the film is stagy. The ship scenes work, and some of the supporting performances are great- Barrymore especially- but you can often see poor Beery's leg merely bent up to look absent, thanks to some lousy editing. While this outing of "Treasure Island" isn't all bad, coming from the Golden Age of Cinema, it is a disappointment. I'll give the superior "Mutiny on the Bounty" and "Captains Courageous" another look next time I feel the need for big boats and bigger water.
Stats:
(1934) 110 min. (6/10)
-Directed by Victor Fleming
-Screenplay by John Lee Mahin, Based on the novel by Robert Louis Stevenson
-Cast: Wallace Beery, Jackie Cooper, Dorothy Peterson, Lionel Barrymore, Otto Kruger, Nigel Bruce, Lewis Stone, Charles 'Chic' Sale, William V. Mong, Charles McNaughton, Douglass Dumbrille, Edmund Breese, Olin Howland
(Not Rated)
Media Viewed: Home Video
Scanner Cop (1994)
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*Get Scanners: A Novel by Leon Whiteson based on the original screenplay by David Cronenberg on Amazon here*
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The producers of the "Scanners" series decided to take the series in a whole new direction.
This time out, young scanner Samuel's birth father goes insane, and Samuel is adopted by an understanding cop. Years later, his adopted dad is police commander and Samuel Staziak (Daniel Quinn) is a rookie cop on drugs to keep his scanning under control. He helps out his dad after a bunch of cops are shot by usually normal people. It seems Karl Glock (perennial villain Richard Lynch) is programming people to kill cops as revenge for his being shot by the commander.
The whole plot is just fine and dandy, but this film feels like one of those old syndicated TV action shows like "VIP" or "Silk Stalkings." Better action has been witnessed on "T.J. Hooker." It seems all the budget was spent on the special effects by John Carl Buechler, which are fine except for a hilarious finale involving a defibrillator. The film makers also do not remember their own mythology, as we see the scanner cop chase someone in an elevator by taking the next elevator that comes along. As we know, and the film shows us, scanners can "control" machines, so why doesn't he just scan and tell the elevator with the criminal in it to stop?
In the finale, as the scanner cop is running all over a hospital looking for his injured dad, he scans everyone he comes in contact with. The facial contortions and scanning take longer than just using his mouth and asking where his father is. I had the same reaction to this that I did with "Scanners" I and II. Fine, I have now seen them, time to go outside.
This is average in the purest sense of the word, and I wish the film makers had taken more chances with this by-the-numbers production. Followed by Scanner Cop II.
Stats:
(1994) 95 min. (6/10)
-Directed by Pierre David
-Screenplay by George Saunders and John Bryant, Story by Pierre David, Based on characters created by David Cronenberg
-Cast: Daniel Quinn, Richard Lynch, Darlanne Fluegel, Richard Grove, Mark Rolston, Hilary Shepard, Brion James, James Horan, Gary Hudson, Cyndi Pass, Luca Bercovici, Christopher Kriesa, Savannah Smith Boucher
(R)
Media Viewed: Home Video
*Get "Scanner Cop II" on Amazon here*
*Get Scanners: A Novel by Leon Whiteson based on the original screenplay by David Cronenberg on Amazon here*
*Get "Scanners" wall decor on Amazon here*
The producers of the "Scanners" series decided to take the series in a whole new direction.
This time out, young scanner Samuel's birth father goes insane, and Samuel is adopted by an understanding cop. Years later, his adopted dad is police commander and Samuel Staziak (Daniel Quinn) is a rookie cop on drugs to keep his scanning under control. He helps out his dad after a bunch of cops are shot by usually normal people. It seems Karl Glock (perennial villain Richard Lynch) is programming people to kill cops as revenge for his being shot by the commander.
The whole plot is just fine and dandy, but this film feels like one of those old syndicated TV action shows like "VIP" or "Silk Stalkings." Better action has been witnessed on "T.J. Hooker." It seems all the budget was spent on the special effects by John Carl Buechler, which are fine except for a hilarious finale involving a defibrillator. The film makers also do not remember their own mythology, as we see the scanner cop chase someone in an elevator by taking the next elevator that comes along. As we know, and the film shows us, scanners can "control" machines, so why doesn't he just scan and tell the elevator with the criminal in it to stop?
In the finale, as the scanner cop is running all over a hospital looking for his injured dad, he scans everyone he comes in contact with. The facial contortions and scanning take longer than just using his mouth and asking where his father is. I had the same reaction to this that I did with "Scanners" I and II. Fine, I have now seen them, time to go outside.
This is average in the purest sense of the word, and I wish the film makers had taken more chances with this by-the-numbers production. Followed by Scanner Cop II.
Stats:
(1994) 95 min. (6/10)
-Directed by Pierre David
-Screenplay by George Saunders and John Bryant, Story by Pierre David, Based on characters created by David Cronenberg
-Cast: Daniel Quinn, Richard Lynch, Darlanne Fluegel, Richard Grove, Mark Rolston, Hilary Shepard, Brion James, James Horan, Gary Hudson, Cyndi Pass, Luca Bercovici, Christopher Kriesa, Savannah Smith Boucher
(R)
Media Viewed: Home Video
The Snowman (2017)
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This infamous flop is a pretty-to-look-at mess of confusion, tension, and some very good performances.
In Norway, Detective Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) and his new bright-eyed partner Katrine (Rebecca Ferguson) are investigating a series of disappearances that have been going on for years, some centered around philanthropist Arve Stop (J.K. Simmons). A calling card, the titular snowman, is left at the crime scenes, and are the signature of some anonymous letters Hole is starting to receive. Harry and Katrine go through the motions, taking advantage of the police department's new piece of technical marvel equipment. Harry also involves himself in his former girlfriend Rakel's (Charlotte Gainsbourg) life, and the couple seem to be pining for each other once again.
It's never a good sign when your film's director admits that he only had time to shoot 85% of a screenplay he was handed after being brought on when the original director, Martin Scorsese, dropped out. There are a couple of scenes in the trailer that didn't make the cut of the film simply because there was nowhere to insert them in this incomprehensible story. Oscar winners Claire Simpson and Thelma Schoonmaker were credited as editors, but their expertise can't salvage this mess. The film takes place in Norway, with travels to Bergen in Germany, but all the performers speak English. The setting and character names are Scandinavian, try to stop laughing at the name "Harry Hole," but the film makers oddly went with this cast instead of moving the setting to Canada or Alaska, or hiring a Norwegian cast.
On the positive, and I don't know how, the cast is great. Fassbender is seen waking up from a drunken stupor a few too many times, but his performance is very good. Ferguson is okay, but Gainsbourg turns her ex-girlfriend character into something special, and I wish we could have had more of her. Karlsson as her new boyfriend is achingly polite and naive, not quite picking up on the chemistry between Harry and Rakel. Aside from a few iffy special effects shots, the true locations are gorgeous, cold, and snowy. Based on a series of novels by Jo Nesbo (why start shooting your franchise with the seventh one?), this should have been a series starter, but the box office returns took care of that idea. From what I have read online, the screenplay strays from the novel on key plot points and kills off a couple of major characters who would return in later novels.
It's too bad this didn't work, I would have liked to see more of this character in less convoluted, confused cases. "The Snowman" left the viewer, and apparently the film makers, cold.
Stats:
(2017) 119 min. (3/10)
-Directed by Tomas Alfredson
-Screenplay by Peter Straughan and Hossein Amini and Soren Sveistrup based on the novel by Jo Nesbo
-Cast: Michael Fassbender, Rebecca Ferguson, J.K. Simmons, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Val Kilmer, Toby Jones, Chloe Sevigny, Jonas Karlsson, Michael Yates, Ronan Vibert, David Dencik, Genevieve O'Reilly, James D'Arcy
(R)
Media Viewed: Streaming
*Get "The Snowman" Original Motion Picture Soundtrack on Amazon here*
*Get The Snowman by Jo Nesbo on Amazon here*
*Get "The Snowman" wall decor on Amazon here*
This infamous flop is a pretty-to-look-at mess of confusion, tension, and some very good performances.
In Norway, Detective Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) and his new bright-eyed partner Katrine (Rebecca Ferguson) are investigating a series of disappearances that have been going on for years, some centered around philanthropist Arve Stop (J.K. Simmons). A calling card, the titular snowman, is left at the crime scenes, and are the signature of some anonymous letters Hole is starting to receive. Harry and Katrine go through the motions, taking advantage of the police department's new piece of technical marvel equipment. Harry also involves himself in his former girlfriend Rakel's (Charlotte Gainsbourg) life, and the couple seem to be pining for each other once again.
It's never a good sign when your film's director admits that he only had time to shoot 85% of a screenplay he was handed after being brought on when the original director, Martin Scorsese, dropped out. There are a couple of scenes in the trailer that didn't make the cut of the film simply because there was nowhere to insert them in this incomprehensible story. Oscar winners Claire Simpson and Thelma Schoonmaker were credited as editors, but their expertise can't salvage this mess. The film takes place in Norway, with travels to Bergen in Germany, but all the performers speak English. The setting and character names are Scandinavian, try to stop laughing at the name "Harry Hole," but the film makers oddly went with this cast instead of moving the setting to Canada or Alaska, or hiring a Norwegian cast.
On the positive, and I don't know how, the cast is great. Fassbender is seen waking up from a drunken stupor a few too many times, but his performance is very good. Ferguson is okay, but Gainsbourg turns her ex-girlfriend character into something special, and I wish we could have had more of her. Karlsson as her new boyfriend is achingly polite and naive, not quite picking up on the chemistry between Harry and Rakel. Aside from a few iffy special effects shots, the true locations are gorgeous, cold, and snowy. Based on a series of novels by Jo Nesbo (why start shooting your franchise with the seventh one?), this should have been a series starter, but the box office returns took care of that idea. From what I have read online, the screenplay strays from the novel on key plot points and kills off a couple of major characters who would return in later novels.
It's too bad this didn't work, I would have liked to see more of this character in less convoluted, confused cases. "The Snowman" left the viewer, and apparently the film makers, cold.
Stats:
(2017) 119 min. (3/10)
-Directed by Tomas Alfredson
-Screenplay by Peter Straughan and Hossein Amini and Soren Sveistrup based on the novel by Jo Nesbo
-Cast: Michael Fassbender, Rebecca Ferguson, J.K. Simmons, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Val Kilmer, Toby Jones, Chloe Sevigny, Jonas Karlsson, Michael Yates, Ronan Vibert, David Dencik, Genevieve O'Reilly, James D'Arcy
(R)
Media Viewed: Streaming
Thursday, August 14, 2025
Scooby-Doo! and the Reluctant Werewolf (1988)
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Hanna-Barbera worked hard to find new things for their cash cow Scooby-Doo to do, and that explains this silly 1980's full-length animated film.
Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Scrappy-Doo, and Shaggy's girlfriend Googie race cars in auto races. A group of monsters meet in Transylvania for the Monster Road Race, and must replace the now-retired werewolf. Luckily, the moon is right to create a new werewolf in the form of Shaggy. Count Dracula sends a duo known as the Hunch Bunch to change Shaggy into a werewolf, and then kidnap him and his friends back to Transylvania to drive in the race. As the werewolfed Shaggy and Scooby drive the race car, Scrappy and Googie follow behind them and the four try and outsmart the other cheating monsters who are competing. Count Dracula and Vanna Pira are commentators, and are also trying to get Shaggy to lose.
This thing clocks in at over ninety minutes, and that is too long. The original Scooby-Doo gang is jettisoned for this forced comedy. The screenwriter, trying to make this as long as possible, fills the last half hour with the car race, which may test even the most patient Scooby-Doo fans. There are some funny lines: Vanna's idea of color commentary is to name the colors she sees, and the local townspeople are forced to cheer for the monsters, but the film makers think this is so original they repeat those jokes non-stop- the first time is amusing, after that, it is desperate. The animation is Saturday morning mediocrity. The film has a hurried rush to it, as if they knew kids would buy it no matter what, so why put any effort in to it? This is like Disney's old straight-to-video sequels to their better theatrical films. I am not reluctant in not recommending this.
Stats:
(1988) 92 min. (2/10)
-Directed by Ray Patterson
-Written by Jim Ryan
-Cast: Don Messick, Casey Kasem, Hamilton Camp, Jim Cummings, Joan Gerber, Ed Gilbert, Brian Stokes Mitchell, Pat Musick, Alan Oppenheimer, Rob Paulsen, Mimi Seaton, B.J. Ward, Frank Welker
(G)
Media Viewed: VHS
*Get "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!" The Complete Series on Amazon here*
*Get "Scoob!" on Amazon here*
*Get Scooby-Doo! collectible merchandise on Amazon here*
Hanna-Barbera worked hard to find new things for their cash cow Scooby-Doo to do, and that explains this silly 1980's full-length animated film.
Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Scrappy-Doo, and Shaggy's girlfriend Googie race cars in auto races. A group of monsters meet in Transylvania for the Monster Road Race, and must replace the now-retired werewolf. Luckily, the moon is right to create a new werewolf in the form of Shaggy. Count Dracula sends a duo known as the Hunch Bunch to change Shaggy into a werewolf, and then kidnap him and his friends back to Transylvania to drive in the race. As the werewolfed Shaggy and Scooby drive the race car, Scrappy and Googie follow behind them and the four try and outsmart the other cheating monsters who are competing. Count Dracula and Vanna Pira are commentators, and are also trying to get Shaggy to lose.
This thing clocks in at over ninety minutes, and that is too long. The original Scooby-Doo gang is jettisoned for this forced comedy. The screenwriter, trying to make this as long as possible, fills the last half hour with the car race, which may test even the most patient Scooby-Doo fans. There are some funny lines: Vanna's idea of color commentary is to name the colors she sees, and the local townspeople are forced to cheer for the monsters, but the film makers think this is so original they repeat those jokes non-stop- the first time is amusing, after that, it is desperate. The animation is Saturday morning mediocrity. The film has a hurried rush to it, as if they knew kids would buy it no matter what, so why put any effort in to it? This is like Disney's old straight-to-video sequels to their better theatrical films. I am not reluctant in not recommending this.
Stats:
(1988) 92 min. (2/10)
-Directed by Ray Patterson
-Written by Jim Ryan
-Cast: Don Messick, Casey Kasem, Hamilton Camp, Jim Cummings, Joan Gerber, Ed Gilbert, Brian Stokes Mitchell, Pat Musick, Alan Oppenheimer, Rob Paulsen, Mimi Seaton, B.J. Ward, Frank Welker
(G)
Media Viewed: VHS
Infected: The Darkest Day (2021)
*Watch "Infected: The Darkest Day" on Amazon Prime Video here*
*Get 28 Days Later/28 Weeks Later Double Feature on Amazon here*
*Get The Bourne Complete Collection on Amazon here*
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What starts out as a cross between "28 Days Later" and a Jason Bourne movie quickly turns into a stomach-churning chore to sit through, thanks to some atrocious camerawork.
Dan (director Dan Rickard) washes up on a British beach with no memory of how he got there or where he came from. He is also ignorant of recent history, as a virus has decimated half the population, turning victims into bloodthirsty (running) zombies. Groups of people are immune, no one knows how the virus is spread, and Dan takes up with a houseful of angry young people who steal food during the day and hide indoors wiling the hours away. Group leader Sam (Chris Wandell) is onto Dan right away- not only is the group hunted by the zombies, but suddenly military personnel are after Dan as well.
Also known as "Infected" and "Darkest Day," this movie could easily have fit into the "28 Days Later" cinematic universe. The practical gore effects are very good, as is the makeup. The acting is hot and cold across the board, with Wandell coming off best as the hotheaded group leader. Unfortunately, most of this film is almost impossible to watch. The sound is terrible enough, but Rickard's constant shaking of his camera had me ill. Entire scenes of film would blur out of focus. The editing makes "Transformers" look like "Barry Lyndon," as I had no clue what was happening in half of the action scenes. It's shot so badly, I wasn't sure who lived in the safe house until some of them escaped to a camp, and a few were killed along the way. We are never given any clues as to Dan's real story and motives, so the big reveal about his identity is dead on arrival- I didn't care, I was trying to settle my stomach from screen time that looked like someone nailed a digital camera to a hardware store paint can shaker. Do not adjust your televisions, this film was seriously shot and edited this way. I suggest taking a day's break halfway through, like I did, you'll end up thanking me.
Stats:
(2021) 81 min. (1/10)
-Directed by Dan Rickard
-Written by Will Martin, Dan Rickard
-Cast: Dan Rickard, Chris Wandell, Samantha Bolter, Richard Wilkinson, Christianne van Wijk, Christian Wise
(Not Rated)
Media Viewed: Streaming
*Get 28 Days Later/28 Weeks Later Double Feature on Amazon here*
*Get The Bourne Complete Collection on Amazon here*
*Get FLYCAM Galaxy Dual Arm and Vest Body Mounted Steadycam for Handheld Stabilizer for Video Camera Camcorder up to 10kg/22lbs (GLXY-AV) on Amazon here*
What starts out as a cross between "28 Days Later" and a Jason Bourne movie quickly turns into a stomach-churning chore to sit through, thanks to some atrocious camerawork.
Dan (director Dan Rickard) washes up on a British beach with no memory of how he got there or where he came from. He is also ignorant of recent history, as a virus has decimated half the population, turning victims into bloodthirsty (running) zombies. Groups of people are immune, no one knows how the virus is spread, and Dan takes up with a houseful of angry young people who steal food during the day and hide indoors wiling the hours away. Group leader Sam (Chris Wandell) is onto Dan right away- not only is the group hunted by the zombies, but suddenly military personnel are after Dan as well.
Also known as "Infected" and "Darkest Day," this movie could easily have fit into the "28 Days Later" cinematic universe. The practical gore effects are very good, as is the makeup. The acting is hot and cold across the board, with Wandell coming off best as the hotheaded group leader. Unfortunately, most of this film is almost impossible to watch. The sound is terrible enough, but Rickard's constant shaking of his camera had me ill. Entire scenes of film would blur out of focus. The editing makes "Transformers" look like "Barry Lyndon," as I had no clue what was happening in half of the action scenes. It's shot so badly, I wasn't sure who lived in the safe house until some of them escaped to a camp, and a few were killed along the way. We are never given any clues as to Dan's real story and motives, so the big reveal about his identity is dead on arrival- I didn't care, I was trying to settle my stomach from screen time that looked like someone nailed a digital camera to a hardware store paint can shaker. Do not adjust your televisions, this film was seriously shot and edited this way. I suggest taking a day's break halfway through, like I did, you'll end up thanking me.
Stats:
(2021) 81 min. (1/10)
-Directed by Dan Rickard
-Written by Will Martin, Dan Rickard
-Cast: Dan Rickard, Chris Wandell, Samantha Bolter, Richard Wilkinson, Christianne van Wijk, Christian Wise
(Not Rated)
Media Viewed: Streaming
Kill Plan (2021)
*Watch "Kill Plan" on Amazon Prime Video here*
*Watch "Amityville Cop" on Amazon Prime Video here*
*Get "Half Moon" on Amazon here*
*Watch "American Mobster: Retribution" on Amazon Prime Video here*
A CIA operative tries to stop a deadly virus from killing millions of people, a fate I would welcome as opposed to watching this seventy-one minute monstrosity again.
Agent Nash (Jason Toler) is recovering from brain damage sustained in Iraq. He is partnered with Mara (Sarah Brine), when the deadly chemical XZ-9 is stolen from a lab. There are a couple of turncoat agents in Nash's department, Winston (Chris Spinelli) and Dexter (Adam Weston Poell), who are after the stuff, plus crime boss Wan (Benny Tjandra)...I apologize, I had no idea what was happening throughout this film.
Forget about the lack of budget and terrible performances for a moment. The screenplay makes no sense. I had no idea who characters were, what XZ-9 was (chemical? virus? laundry detergent?) although it is mentioned about a hundred times in the film, and after a hilarious opening sequence set in Iraq, I gave up trying. This is the kind of amateurish film where half the cast served in other roles behind the camera, but not in a noble or admirable manner. One minor character mispronounces "emeritus," and the gaffe made it to the final cut. The story is intercut with stock footage of large cities to try and give this some epic scope, but sometimes the aspect ratio doesn't match, or the city footage is repeated in later shots. The sound quality is terrible, and even the subtitle generator I had running couldn't understand what some characters were saying, substituting the word "(mumbles)" instead. The action scenes are boring and comical, pay no attention to that kinda cool poster because none of that is in this movie, which features more footage of our hero sitting at a desk instead of standing or trying to save the world. I can appreciate making the most of your modest budget as much as the next person, but this is ridiculous, as if the film makers wanted to hurry up and finish this because of a deadline to get it onto Amazon Prime Video, which seems to specialize in terrible films like this. This isn't a poor man's James Bond ripoff, this is a poor man's poor man's ripoff of a poor man's James Bond ripoff.
Speaking of James Bond, the scariest item awaits the few brave souls who make it through the end credits, where there is a promise that this Nash character will return in a sequel absolutely NO ONE wants.
Stats:
(2021) 71 min. (1/10)
-Directed by Gregory Hatanaka
-Written by Jamie Grefe
-Cast: Jason Toler, Sarah Brine, Chris Spinelli, Adam Weston Poell, Benny Tjandra, Elliott Woods, Nicole D'Angelo, Craijece Danielle, Talon Tears, Scott Butler, Christina Lo, Shoko Rice, Dan Luong
(Not Rated)
Media Viewed: Streaming
*Watch "Amityville Cop" on Amazon Prime Video here*
*Get "Half Moon" on Amazon here*
*Watch "American Mobster: Retribution" on Amazon Prime Video here*
A CIA operative tries to stop a deadly virus from killing millions of people, a fate I would welcome as opposed to watching this seventy-one minute monstrosity again.
Agent Nash (Jason Toler) is recovering from brain damage sustained in Iraq. He is partnered with Mara (Sarah Brine), when the deadly chemical XZ-9 is stolen from a lab. There are a couple of turncoat agents in Nash's department, Winston (Chris Spinelli) and Dexter (Adam Weston Poell), who are after the stuff, plus crime boss Wan (Benny Tjandra)...I apologize, I had no idea what was happening throughout this film.
Forget about the lack of budget and terrible performances for a moment. The screenplay makes no sense. I had no idea who characters were, what XZ-9 was (chemical? virus? laundry detergent?) although it is mentioned about a hundred times in the film, and after a hilarious opening sequence set in Iraq, I gave up trying. This is the kind of amateurish film where half the cast served in other roles behind the camera, but not in a noble or admirable manner. One minor character mispronounces "emeritus," and the gaffe made it to the final cut. The story is intercut with stock footage of large cities to try and give this some epic scope, but sometimes the aspect ratio doesn't match, or the city footage is repeated in later shots. The sound quality is terrible, and even the subtitle generator I had running couldn't understand what some characters were saying, substituting the word "(mumbles)" instead. The action scenes are boring and comical, pay no attention to that kinda cool poster because none of that is in this movie, which features more footage of our hero sitting at a desk instead of standing or trying to save the world. I can appreciate making the most of your modest budget as much as the next person, but this is ridiculous, as if the film makers wanted to hurry up and finish this because of a deadline to get it onto Amazon Prime Video, which seems to specialize in terrible films like this. This isn't a poor man's James Bond ripoff, this is a poor man's poor man's ripoff of a poor man's James Bond ripoff.
Speaking of James Bond, the scariest item awaits the few brave souls who make it through the end credits, where there is a promise that this Nash character will return in a sequel absolutely NO ONE wants.
Stats:
(2021) 71 min. (1/10)
-Directed by Gregory Hatanaka
-Written by Jamie Grefe
-Cast: Jason Toler, Sarah Brine, Chris Spinelli, Adam Weston Poell, Benny Tjandra, Elliott Woods, Nicole D'Angelo, Craijece Danielle, Talon Tears, Scott Butler, Christina Lo, Shoko Rice, Dan Luong
(Not Rated)
Media Viewed: Streaming
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